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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Rapist copied scenes he'd seen in pornography

296 replies

NoLoveofMine · 25/08/2017 23:16

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-derbyshire-41039754

OP posts:
sleighbellend · 27/08/2017 08:45

Coin you sound like the sort of woman who would groom young girls on behalf of gangs of male rapists.

thesleepystorm · 27/08/2017 08:43

Sorry coin but what normal 30 year old man is interested in a 15 yo girl?

My DH is 33 and says he has no idea what he would even talk about to a 15 yo. You cannot be equals in a relationship with that age gap. You just can't. It's inherently predatory.

CoinOperatedGurl · 27/08/2017 08:34

Under 13 it's an additional crime. Under 16 he'd just get a longer sentence.

DJBaggySmalls · 27/08/2017 08:31

I didnt say he raped her CoinOperatedGurl I asked if raping an underage girl is an additional crime.

CoinOperatedGurl · 27/08/2017 08:30

My daughters father is NOT a predator. There was just an age gap

CoinOperatedGurl · 27/08/2017 08:29

That's how guys talk about girls. How old are you? You find that surprising?!

thesleepystorm · 27/08/2017 08:29

So your daughters father is also predatory then.

RebelRogue · 27/08/2017 08:28

@CoinOperatedGurl

Relationship? What relationship? Even he didn't class it as a relationship,the fact that you do is very telling.

Prisoner: “How long you got, six years int ya?”
Johnson: “Yeah.”
Prisoner: “And you never even fed the bird?”
Johnson (laughing): “I didn’t even get my ck out.”
Prisoner: “It’s not like you fing raped her or owt like that?”
Johnson (laughing): “No, I wish I f
ing did for six year.”

So romantic no?

CoinOperatedGurl · 27/08/2017 08:26

He didn't rape her. Only attempted to.

DJBaggySmalls · 27/08/2017 08:23

Although it was interesting to see the lack of victim blaming in he article, one thing that annoyed me was how little it said about what he had been charged with.
Isn't the rape of an underage girl an additional crime?

CoinOperatedGurl · 27/08/2017 08:14

I wasn't going to comment again since you've all pretty much made up your mind about me and are totally dismissive about my experiences.

But I said earlier in that post that I met my daughters father at 15 when he was in his 30's so what makes you think I wouldn't agree with the AJ relationship? Talk about trying to stir.

noeffingidea · 27/08/2017 08:11

Coin said they supported Adam Johnson, I think that says everything we need to know about Coin.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 26/08/2017 23:09

I've been out too and came back to hiddenmnetter's brilliant post.

If Coin is what Coin says she is I sincerely hope she does not pass on the toxic and dangerously deluded ideas she expressed on the Macron thread about what constitutes consensual sex and sexual abuse to her children.

MiniTheMinx · 26/08/2017 22:11

The only way you can argue what you seem to be arguing comes from a sort of transactional theory of action- provided I am paid for my actions I am therefore not abused

I wonder if porn apologists might think that if this man and others like him were to toss a few coins at their victims after they had raped them, then it would make it all ok. Is that not the same as the wages paid to those women exploited by the porn industry. It seems that too many people assume that just because something is a paying job, that all jobs are equal, and that no exploitation is involved. its simply a transaction. A worker contracts freely to sell his labour to an employer, who contracts freely to pay him. Except that we are all forced to sell our labour, there is no choice. But when exploitation is woven into the economic system that governs our society , it makes normal even the very worst forms of abuse and exploitation, and it makes it seemingly ethical by compensation.

As for those arguments that rest on the idea that only a sick individual would seek out rape porn, and that porn (or indeed any media) doesn't influence the actions of people, you are quite ideologically interpellated, unable to think outside of the influence of this very media you seek to defend. I suspect that those who defend it, watch it.

Advertising has no effect on you, the influence of authority, your parents, friends, church, the news and mainstream media has no effect on you, really? No man exists outside of society, to be outside of society is to be not human. Our subjectivity, our belief systems and our biases are socially conditioned, and in a society that uses the rationale of the market to argue backwards to morality or uses market ideology to make normative statements, is a society that is reducing all actions, all things, and even people to commodities.

As for some women enjoying watching pornography that depicts women as submissive, as victims, and as being raped, well, is that really so surprising. If we are conditioned to think in certain ways, then it stands to reason that from the very earliest our sexuality is molded to be submissive. And if women are objectified in all ways, and in all media then women come to have two views of themselves. They perceive themselves from outside and from inside, two perspectives. We watch ourselves, we are subject not just to the male gaze. And if women's value is in her beauty, and in her submission then we idealise this.

AltheaThoon · 26/08/2017 22:02

"I'm very pro porn. All types as long as the people performing are consenting"

And how exactly do you tell whether they're consenting or not? Confused

Watch 'Hot Girls Wanted'. It's very uncomfortable viewing. All the girls made a choice to be there but they didn't always have a choice in what they had to do. Deep throating until they choked and vomited was one of the acts that I couldn't forget.

Porn is made for men. Why do men enjoy seeing women being abused, raped and hurt? Even if it's 'only acting' they're still getting off on it. Even lesbian porn is made for men - it's not made for lesbians.

Some women enjoy working in the porn and prostitution industry. Those women are complicit in the abuse, rape, torture, humiliation and exploitation of other women. Well done. You must be so proud.

QuentinSummers · 26/08/2017 21:21

Interesting post sillage and agree coin isn't as appears.
Threads like this are the reason FWR isn't always friendly to first time posters.
Seriously I despair the bukkake death is being dismissed as "an accident". Work related deaths due to inadequate health and safety are rightly considered criminal. What happened to that actor was a crime.

RebelRogue · 26/08/2017 20:36

Wow just wow... think we had everything on this thread from NAMALT to the happy prostitute/sex worker myth. All that's left is someone to come and say that he obviously is mentally ill and he needs treatment not prison,poor guy.

Just in case some of the naysayers are willing to listen.. in threads like these when we talk about men/male violence,no one actually mean every single man on the planet,but men as as a class and the violence they commit against women and girls predominantly,but yes even against their own.

sillage · 26/08/2017 19:31

The vulnerability and desperation of prostitutes is what arouses men who (ab)use prostitutes. Porn titles by the millions prove this.

I’m a trained linguist and vocational expert in communications, and over the past 22 years I’ve paid keen attention to how men and women communicate online and off. A co-worker and I used to play a game where I’d guess the sex of the person he was speaking with on the phone solely by how he reacted to their words, and I was right 8 out of 10 times.

The first time I realized a man was impersonating a woman online I was new to the internet and posting on a music forum.
He called himself Miss Leo and said he was 16-years-old, South African, blue eyed, blond-haired, and gorgeous. I was skeptical but accepted the possibility this person existed until he thought he could make me believe this 16-year-old girl really went to the salon every two weeks to have all the non-head hair on her body waxed off, oh and she loved porn.

I remain convinced you're a goady liar typing with one hand.

thesleepystorm · 26/08/2017 19:18

And I called myself this name because that's what I am. My job is a massive part of my life. It feeds and clothes myself and my kids. Without it I'd be on the dole.

Ok and you really don't see the link between this and exploitation? How many men do it to feed their kids?

CoinOperatedGurl · 26/08/2017 19:01

And I called myself this name because that's what I am. My job is a massive part of my life. It feeds and clothes myself and my kids. Without it I'd be on the dole.

CoinOperatedGurl · 26/08/2017 18:58

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

hiddenmnetter · 26/08/2017 18:49

So been out most of the day and come back to this...it's enough to make one despair.

Right difference between a gang-bang anal rape scene and an underwater welder?

You said no-one enjoys receiving in an anal gangbang scene? That's the difference right there: the object of your job is your degradation and your suffering is a required (I.e.: essential) product. An underwater welder may well accept the risk of injury but his injuries are neither the intention nor essential to his job!! That they happen is the reason he commands the pay he does. Their possibility is not the necessity though.

Finally an idea of human nature and a general idea of human action will make it fairly clear how damaging pornography is.

Human nature is good- it strives to excellence and beauty and goodness. It is, however, marred by a terrible weakness and a terrible propensity to fall into what used to be known as base passions. Our society, and our socialisation generally, attempts to raise each generation to fight ones own base passions in order to achieve more excellent things like marriage and family and having children or doing things like giving your life over to helping those less fortunate etc. These require a level of self-discipline and self-mastery that falling into base passion derails. I am talking of things like lust (the sexually based emotion that attempts to use the other rather than love them) or lying to make ones life easier. Drunkenness does the same thing- it robs one of self-control and a life given to drunkenness is a life often destroyed. Read the posts in the relationship section that mention alcoholism. Also the lack of control of appetite: read all the threads about people's regret at

Underneath this there are what used to be called morbid passions: the rage that can lead to violence, uncontrolled lust and anger that can lead to rape and the like.

Porn as I remember it in all the magazines and the like used to be aimed at arousing base passions. This is problematic enough. Porn from what I've heard and read just on this thread is aimed at arousing morbid passions- arousing violence and arousing anger. Of arousing a selfishness so deep that it then overwhelms the natural empathy and sympathy people have when viewing others. As a society we seem to be walking away from teaching our children the value of self-control, of the value of taming our uncontrolled nature.

Such an analysis of action and of human nature makes the danger of porn obvious from the moral point of view. Everyone else has detailed again and again the danger to bodily integrity and psychosexual danger that porn poses in normalising brutality in sexual relationships.

So, to return to your original points coin- yes, ultimately the origin of this mans actions are found in his own moral freedom. But that doesn't mean that he wasn't helped along the way by his use of violent porn.

The only way you can argue what you seem to be arguing comes from a sort of transactional theory of action- provided I am paid for my actions I am therefore not abused or used and since you seem to be suggesting that most porn actresses and actors seem to be paid therefore their choices must be respected. I think that's arrant nonsense because humans are more than transactions.

Along with others I cannot tell- you may be a troll, or you may simply be so horrifically brutalised by your life that you are unable to see your own pain: but it is just that, pain. That does not mean it is too late to escape or to find a life beyond it. It does, however, mean that the industry you are defending is heavily responsible for your anguish. For all I know you may not be who you say- you may be someone paid by pornographers to defend pornography on forums just like this. It doesn't make the damage of porn any less real.

thesleepystorm · 26/08/2017 18:07

Do you really feel at risk of violence constantly?

Yes, I do.

sillage · 26/08/2017 18:02

CoinOperatedGurl is jerking off to this thread.

He called himself "CoinOperatedGurl". Duh.

He claims to get aroused at seeing women emotionally upset and trolls the internet for places to emotionally upset women and get his rocks off.

Sometimes engaging with fools is fun, this one is just more obvious and boringly trite than most.

Nancy91 · 26/08/2017 17:03

I think there was something very wrong with this man, but I don't believe it is pornography's fault, even though he was recreating scenes from it.

If a murderer watches a horror film and then copies scenes from it, it's not the fault of the film industry - there must already be something very sick within the person committing these crimes. Most people can watch these things and not become rapists and murderers, the issue is that man's warped mentality. Blaming it on porn is some sort of scapegoat for him.

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