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Original poster

Other ways men dominate space, apart from the physical

35 replies

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 17/08/2017 23:02

Inspired by another thread. I was in a coffee shop recently, empty apart from female friend and I , and two blokes who were cleaning the windows. Both occupied opposite ends of the room, and rather than actually move towards each other to have a conversation, they shouted, over the top of us, and our conversation, meaning I was actually shouting to continue the conversation...this seemed preferable to what would have meant silencing us. So I started off thinking it was about space, but the natural consequence would have been for us to have been literally silenced...which is more worrying.Anyone got any further thoughts on this?

OP posts:
Datun · 18/08/2017 09:00

BillBrysonsBeard

I'm not so sure. My sons used to do it in my car, not in DH's.

(Although that could be a function of them knowing he's far more precious about his car than I am about mine).

BillBrysonsBeard · 18/08/2017 08:50

Horopu Isn't that just selfish teenage behaviour for both sexes? I used to do that all the time, didn't even consider my mum or dad would want to listen to anything!

Horopu · 18/08/2017 08:31

My teenage boys automatically turn the music in the car to whatever they want. I've pointed out to them that it's my car and as I'm the driver they need to check with me first. It shocked me because in theory they are all for feminism and they certainly respect me. It's a minor thing but it makes me realise how insidious it is.

scottishdiem · 18/08/2017 00:59

I think that men just do things at their sound level and not bother about anyone else. Its the same for women though. Quiet train carriages but drinking wine and screeching loudly at each other. Screaming at kids on public transport. Screaming for kids across two aisles in the local shop. Hairdressers shouting at each other over the blow dryers.

Its manners really.

FeedMeAndTellMeImPretty · 18/08/2017 00:49

Sorry for garbled sentence! It was obvious that to them it was their work space not my home.

FeedMeAndTellMeImPretty · 18/08/2017 00:48

I had plumbers in to fit a new boiler. Two young lads who put their radio on full blast the minute they arrived. It was that to them it was obviously "their work space" rather than my home.

I put their lack of consideration down to their age rather than sex but it's difficult to know.

Datun · 18/08/2017 00:37

I've had builders in my house for about two years (and not for a fun reason).

All sorts of different things.

I almost fall at the feet of the ones who are tidy and unobtrusive and just get on with it.

Because most of them yell at eachother from one end of the place to the other, constantly asking for tea or make hacking thirsty noises, which is totes hilaire obvs. And positively demands my thin lipped attempt at bantz.

It's exhausting. I go out.

BlessedBeTheFruit · 18/08/2017 00:09

Yes definitely. Were they members of staff or just contractors? If staff you would think they wouldn't want to put customers off like that. Good on you for shouting and not giving up.

Original poster
SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 18/08/2017 00:06

I don't actually know Fruit. I think I was too intent on not being shut up, after a lifetime of that sort of stuff. They just feel entitled to do it. Even if you take male/female politics out of it, it's just really bad manners.

OP posts:
BlessedBeTheFruit · 18/08/2017 00:04

I'm guessing that they didn't even consider that you were there, never mind that you would actually want to sit and talk/listen with your friend.

Did they do anything when you started shouting? Did they even notice?