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Original poster

Feminism as "let's be nice to everyone"

303 replies

OneFlewOverTheDodosNest · 10/08/2017 14:16

I've started getting the rage with celebrities and women I know who like to virtue signal about the importance of feminism, but then make the definition of feminism so broad that's it's useless.

Some things I've seen lately that have made my teeth clench include "feminism works for all genders", "feminism is another word for equalism", "we can only make feminism work if we get men on side, so let's be nice to them" "here's a list of things feminism works on for men" etc etc.

One thing that REALLY pissed me off was Emma-Feminist-Watson (I know...) saying that boys not being able to cry was the "saddest thing" she could think of and it just really brought home to me how feminism has turned from this fight to liberate woman, to this platitude designed to show that you're nice but "don't worry, not in a threatening way". Seriously, you can't think of a single thing SADDER than a bloke being emotionally stunted?

How did it happen that mainstream feminism started focusing on the emotional needs of men, rather than the increasing rates of DV and sexual violence? How did the conversation shift from "we need to fund these shelters for women" to "we need to make sure men have refuges [that never get used]"?

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 10/08/2017 14:45

It's a constant refrain on Mumsnet, isn't it? "Oh, I don't go on the feminist boards/I'm not a feminist because feminists are so nasty. You catch more flies with honey than vinegar, you know. Just be nice!"

DJBaggySmalls · 10/08/2017 14:42

As men get nastier women get more compliant and placating. Or maybe its me getting older and more cynical.
IMO there has been a deliberate, long term strategy of infiltration and shifting peoples opinions step by step to the right.

Except for radical feminists, who are still pretty much saying the same things. We seem to be immune to the bullshit. I believe thats because radfems value the truth.
We have integrity.
We are honest.
We dont need it sugar coating.
We get that popularity contests are worthless.
We can regulate our own behaviour and expect others to do the same.

We have such a different mindset that it seems alien and very scary to people who are taken in by cults and need the safety of belonging to the popular group.

VestalVirgin · 10/08/2017 14:40

It is a backlash that disguises as feminism.

Men hate feminism. But since women have more economic power now, men cannot just go and openly admit that they hate feminism and want to continue to exploit and oppress us.

So they make feminism all about men, and brand that as the good feminism, and feminism that's actually about women as bad feminism.

It is like men not wanting to admit that they rape when you ask them whether they rape, but openly admit they'd "force a woman to have sex", which is exactly the same as rape, but by another name.

Most men are still just fine with oppressing women, they just want to call themselves feminists while doing it.

And women happily go along with it, because they want to be feminists, but don't want to be unpopular with most males, which being a real feminist would inevitably lead to.