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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Can I have an opinion please?

36 replies

Mrsemcgregor · 08/08/2017 19:53

I would be particularly interested in a legal opinion as I am not particularly knowledgeable in that department.

I don't want to go into too much detail as to my involvement in the situation, but I will just say it was in a professional capacity. (I know neither of the people involved outside of this particular event)

During a night out a young woman was out with her friend in a club enjoying herself, yes she had been drinking. Whilst she was in the club she bumped into her ex-boyfriend. He wanted to talk to her, she did not want to talk. She ended up leaving the club alone to get away from him.

He followed her from the club shouting at her, intent on getting her attention. He aggressively pursued her along the street, she was half running and he kept grabbing her shoulder to try and turn her around. I witnessed this, she made it very clear she wanted to be left alone. After 4/5 times of being grabbed she slapped him. He then punched her in the face and she fell to the floor.

I attended to her and gave first aid for a swollen and bruised cheek.

A police officer also witnessed this and allowed the man to go as she had slapped him first and the two assaults cancelled each other out.

Is this right? It didn't sit well with me at the time, I argued with the officer but got told in no uncertain terms to shut up and do my job (medical).

OP posts:
Youcanttaketheskyfromme · 08/08/2017 20:20

That's disgusting and I would complain about the officer.

UtterlyFcked · 08/08/2017 20:20

The original action of persuing her down the street and causing her to fear for herself is an offence in itself. It doesn't need to be rough and she needn't have been touched at all. If I were advising her I would apply to the family court for a non molestation order ASAP rather than waste time with the police who obviously aren't interested. You could supply her with a supporting statement if you are concerned for her. Lawyer.

PacificDogwod · 08/08/2017 20:19

I wish a lawyer came on this thread.
I want there to be an offence call 'threatening behaviour' or 'intimidation' or something, because fallowing somebody down the street harassing them for a conversation they clearly do not want to have - surely that's not nothing?! Confused

Mrsemcgregor · 08/08/2017 20:18

She wanted to press charges but the officer at the scene would not allow it.

As I was treating her she further confided in me that during her relationship he would strangle her. He is an awful abuser and purposely shows up on her nights out. I fulfilled my professional duty by involving our local DA agency and encouraging her to report it to the police via 101 or at the station the following day. I also warned her of how dangerous a man who puts his hands on her throat is, and that he could kill her one day.

I was very upset that the police didn't take her seriously and potentially allowed her to return to a life threatening situation.

I have the officers badge number and am trying to decide whether I should take action or if he did indeed work within the law and followed his responsibilities that night.

(Sorry for the drip feed, I just wanted an unbiased opinion based on what the officer actually saw)

OP posts:
PencilsInSpace · 08/08/2017 20:11

also not a lawyer

PencilsInSpace · 08/08/2017 20:11

Grabbing someone's shoulder is assault. She acted in self-defence.

PacificDogwod · 08/08/2017 20:08

Not a lawyer here either, but I agree it feels rather counterintuitive that the two 'attacks' cancel each other out almost Confused

So, if a man punched somebody else and got shot for his efforts, that would be ok because of provocation?

What does she want to do?
Press charges??
Hope she is ok Thanks

Slimthistime · 08/08/2017 20:07

X post
You've confirmed my thoughts!

Slimthistime · 08/08/2017 20:06

She slapped him after he had grabbed her shoulder
So in terms of assault, he did act first? I'm not a lawyer but that jumped out at me.

Also isn't there something in law about proportion, did he need to punch her in his own self defence? How hard was the slap? Slap and punch don't seem equal.

Mrsemcgregor · 08/08/2017 20:06

To me it felt that he was the original physical aggressor. He grabbed her several times, maybe not as far as an assault but it was certainly an aggressive physical act. I felt that she had to do something to get him away and acted on instinct. Then he punched her so hard he knocked her to the floor. It was horrible to witness and seemed so obvious to me that he was the overbearing physical abuser.

OP posts:
Seeingadistance · 08/08/2017 20:01

Not a lawyer, so this is just my personal opinion.

This sounds very much like the old-fashioned police attitude to domestic violence, i.e., take no action.

Sound all very wrong to me. One violent act does not cancel out another, and in any event, circumstances and context should be taken into account.