Men are in general bigger

The average male is larger and stronger than the average female. If you look at sports and boxing you can see that the fittest, strongest women are still not as strong as the average man.
The woman who fought Fallon Fox and was severely injured knows she is 'abnormally strong' for a woman. I dont know how they let Fox in the ring with her.
Archived link;
archive.is/uDWH0

I agree that your friend chose to let you go. That was probably because of your continued active resistance. If you had been too scared or shocked to actively resist, he may have read that as willingness or compliance.
Your counsellor may be able to offer a joint session where he attends with you. You could think about what you want to say to him and what you want from him.

He used his physicality to dominate you in a situation you did not consent to. If you're reflecting on this still, it must obviously have left a mark and you have to wonder if the friendship you have now is a true and worthy one.

People can and do use their physicality to dominate others, to attract others, or to deter a threat. So it's not always a negative thing but of course, in your situation it was and you obviously felt threatened. This situation you experienced was with THIS particular friend of yours, so it would make life pretty grim if you worried about being at risk in the company of all men.

I think yes we are conditioned ( or certainly were in the past) to consider ourselves vulnerable in partly because on the whole some men tend to be larger than some women and have more muscle mass for those bursts of running/ fighting. I am hoping to be corrected scientifically here! However: if society values endurance e.g. surviving in icy waters, long distances etc then my understanding was that it's actually women who have a physical advantage due to our fat stores. We must also be physically less vulnerable in some way because more female babies survive infancy, old ladies live longer. So maybe it's our interpretation of what is meant by strength that needs considering? There is also the fact that women genuinely are vulnerable when pregnant and breastfeeding or looking after small children. We do value support then, but it doesn't have to be from a man! Women also have the disadvantages of social conditioning to feel weaker and vulnerable because we weren't trained or educated or employed equally, we were infantilised or put on a pedestal or in a gilded cage in clothes that hobbled and constricted us - not just hooped skirts and silk bustles, even now I would struggle to change a wheel in my work clothes of pencil skirt and heels and painted fingernails. So i do see your point OP but think there is more to it as well.

do we women in general (or have I) unwittingly lived with the risk of being overpowered at any point

Of course we do!
Men, as a class, are larger and stronger than women, as a class. A typical man can overpower a typical woman simply because he's larger and stronger. That makes women more vulnerable to male aggression, because it's harder for us to fight an aggressor off.
Most men don't go around routinely attacking women, but when men do, the woman usually comes off worse.

"Not on"

Not in what he did to you at all and I think you're making excuses for him by saying it was passion rather than aggression. I would not trust him anymore.

I'd be willing to bet that most women who say things like found it sexy to be pinned against a wall are thinking of it in the context of the other party being a trusted partner who would stop pinning them against the wall if they showed discomfort with the situation.
Not in the context of being pinned to a wall against their will and being unable to free themselves.

Having talked to friends (ages ago) it turns out lots of them found it sexy to be pinned against a wall

Oh OK - been there and done that with consent in my youth ... but the key is consent. I consented and it was all part of the fun. You didn't.

I guess now I am wondering re what you mean by 'the dynamic'?

He used his size and strength in an attempt to FORCE you in to a kiss. There is nothing passionate about that.
You backed off and pushed him away and then had to free yourself. What would have happened if you could not free yourself?

The man would no longer be my friend.

And actually the pinning against wall scenario could be passion rather than aggression to another

I've read your post a couple of times and I'm not sure what you mean here?