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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

I am Jazz. ***Trans content. Please do not open if you just want to post insults or whinge about another trans thread***

493 replies

CosmicPineapple · 03/08/2017 07:54

I am Jazz is a reality show focusing on the journey of a teenage transgirl/woman whos parents supported transition from aged 5 and has been on TV since aged 6.
Now aged 16.

I don't watch the show as I strongly disagree with everything about it. However I briefly saw a clip of the next episode as the tv happened to be on the channel that airs I am Jazz I had been watching say yes to the dress and it was about dating.

Jazz goes to a sort of speed dating event where everyone is sat in the dark. Jazz wants a relationship, which is normal for a teenager however Jazz does not tell the boys/men that they are trans and in fact male.
As they are in darkness Jazz feels that if they get to know each other without the barrier of seeing each other/being trans it may lead to a relationship.

For me this is totally wrong.
Why should it be ok for Jazz or anyone to withold the truth about a very important aspect of who they are?
Plus I would imagine there to be some very upset and angry teenage boys when they find out they have been duped and lied to.

I remember a good few years ago where a man killed his partner after finding out on a TV show that they were trans. There have been a few similar murders over the years.
I am in no way condoning the murder or harm of another person I am just highlighting the danger that can come if you lie about the sex you are and it should not be encouraged as no relationship can survive on lies.

I just wondered what other peoples thoughts are on the subject of lying about your sex to the people you date?

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7Days · 03/08/2017 21:12

But maturity comes with time, doesn't it, not just the hormonal rush of puberty? (Re the comment about Jazz's mind development)

AdalindSchade · 03/08/2017 21:03

Puberty is an essential stage of neurological and psychological development. It's an educated guess but I think it's a pretty straightforward conclusion

CosmicPineapple · 03/08/2017 20:49

You are more charitable than me Datun.

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CosmicPineapple · 03/08/2017 20:49

You are more charitable than me Datun.

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Datun · 03/08/2017 20:44

If if I was being charitable, I would say that Jazz's parents got caught up in the Kool-Aid and just had to run with it as she got older.

MaisyPops · 03/08/2017 20:37

Well said elendon
Trans (and Q actually when it's lgbtq) aren't sexual orientations.
Really it should be 2 groups:

  1. Lesbian, gay, bisexual and any other sexual orientation labels such as asexual
  2. Gender identity: male, female, MtF trans, FtM trans, non binary etc

Being trans and dating must be quite difficult. I have a friend who identifies as queer and is bisexual but seems to be fine because she either has heterosexual or lesbian relationship based on who she is attracted to. She wouldn't just decide she is a man and expect gay men to find her penis-less female body attractive.

I feel thr adults in Jazz's life have strung her along on the issues of dating in some respect. They've talked to her about the dangers of dating when trans (like murder) but the equally don't seem to have explained why it's very different to non trans dating.

CosmicPineapple · 03/08/2017 20:36

Christ if I even gently enquire if my 14 yo DS has friends who are girls I am met with
"Shut up mum"
"YOU are Soooo embaressing"
"I wish I was never born"
No way would he want that played out on tv.

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Datun · 03/08/2017 20:36

Today 19:55 AdalindSchade

Not something a 17-year-old would ever contemplate. Unless they had the mind of a child, which is a horrifying thought

Jazz hasn't been through puberty. Jazz's mind is pre pubescent

That's my concern. And what I've been wondering.

Do you know that? Or is it is an educated guess?

Elendon · 03/08/2017 20:22

We let people do this to their children because the T is tagged onto the LGB. LGB is about sexual orientation with people who have lived through puberty with their genitals intact. Genitals do mean a lot to heterosexual, lesbian, gay and bisexual people.

HarryBiscuit · 03/08/2017 20:21

Yes cosmic. You could argue that a mature open-minded adult could get their head around it, but a 16 year old with little or no sexual experience? It's a pretty massive ask.

Also why they are making 16 year olds go on "dates" like this on TV? The parents who agreed to have their kids on this show need to have a rethink, imo.

GinevraFanshawe · 03/08/2017 20:17

Have you seen the video of Jazz posted by Glamour magazine about why boys shouldn't be afraid to date trans girls? Absolutely heart breaking, you can see the desperation on her face "trans girls just want to be loved, we're just normal girls, boys just don't seem interested in me and I don't know why". She believes that she's the same as a girl and it's a huge lie, I hope to god they spend some of the money they're getting on therapy for her.

CosmicPineapple · 03/08/2017 20:11

Anyway, blind date, dark date, who on this planet doesn't know that Jazz is transgender?

Thats what makes it worse. Jazz was led to believe or believes themself that if you remove the fact they are male by hiding it in the dark a hetro boy would be attracted to them and not care they have a penis and are male.
It just is not true.
And for those around Jazz to promote this lie and have Jazz belueve it is sickening.

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pombal · 03/08/2017 20:11

Poor Jazz.
Why would any parent want to make their child into reality TV fodder?

The pressure Jazz must feel to continue along this path.

I wonder how Jazz will feel about it in 10 years time?

Elendon · 03/08/2017 20:10

And I'm going to answer my own question and say no.

There are many gay men who do not engage in anal sex.

There are many gay women who do not engage in anal or vaginal sex.

Elendon · 03/08/2017 20:08

What the vagina does not cope with is anal to vaginal intercourse.

I do wonder about men who claim to be 100% heterosexual but at the same time homophobic, and yet want anal sex.

Are heterosexual males the only cohort who don't experience anal sex?

Elendon · 03/08/2017 20:04

Anyway, blind date, dark date, who on this planet doesn't know that Jazz is transgender?

Elendon · 03/08/2017 20:00

Good questions Datun.

Regarding autism, what are the percentages regarding mtf before puberty, during and after? Similarly what are the percentages in these cohorts when it comes to ftm?

Why is homophobia allowed to exist within the trans movement? Especially when it comes to fundamentalist religions?

Why is the default heterosexual at birth? Boy is the prince, girl is the princess.

AdalindSchade · 03/08/2017 19:55

Not something a 17-year-old would ever contemplate. Unless they had the mind of a child, which is a horrifying thought

Jazz hasn't been through puberty. Jazz's mind is pre pubescent.

HarryBiscuit · 03/08/2017 19:50

Yes that is really odd/disturbing Datun.

I'm not sure it's relevant but I agree with pp who say that Jazz doesn't really pass. I'm really not trying to bitchy or anything but I think when you watch the programme if I hadn't known I think I would have thought they were a boy with long hair. Some men, straight and gay (but perhaps more frequently gay), do have long and glossy hair. I don't think it's the main problem in this situation though, the other aspects are far worse.

Elendon · 03/08/2017 19:49

Thanks Datun

Elendon · 03/08/2017 19:48

Well we all know that vaginas do not give a woman sexual pleasure. That would be the clitoris, the uterus, the cervix and the fallopian tubes and ovaries. The vagina is a vessel. A vessel that receives and expunges. It expunges blood products and babies and bacteria (sorry but sperm that doesn't make it essentially becomes bacteria).

Of course part of the pleasure in heterosexual sex as a female is receiving the penis, and being connected. As well as a multitude of other things. Skin, brain, breasts. This child will never know those pleasures in a tactile sense, and will only imagine them.

Datun · 03/08/2017 19:36

The questions I would like answered are why is autism so over represented trans community?

Why are late transitioning transwomen over represented in male dominated areas, like tech, the military, etc.

Why is there a correlation between stringently defined gender roles in a family who then produce trans children?

Why is there a correlation, in America, between Christian fundamentalists who then produce trans children?

Why are women who transition over representated terms of experiencing domestic/sexual abuse (of either themselves or their mother) or those who have a homosexual orientation?

Why are women transitioning to escape female gender roles, and men transitioning to achieve female gender roles?

Why are we not allowed to ask these questions? Why are people being shut down?

CosmicPineapple · 03/08/2017 19:23

It isnt Datun.

My mum bless her always told me not to ingore my instincts. If it feels wrong then it probably is. Thats how I feel about Jazz.

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Datun · 03/08/2017 19:22

Elendon

What I mean is gender dysphoria is a real and distressing condition. I don't think it should lead to somebody like Jazz.

As an adult, maybe, possibly. Although I would far rather see some kind of therapy (rather than medicalisation) that could reconcile people to their natal sex.

I think there are many reasons for being trans. But none of them include a female brain in a male body.

Datun · 03/08/2017 19:19

CosmicPineapple

Believe it or not, I try very hard not to be one-sided. But I think the odds are stacked against Jazz. I just do.

Being sexually dysfunctional for the rest of your life cannot be considered living your 'authentic' life, surely?