Why do men use prostitutes?

Being penetrated repeatedly by multiple men causes bruising, lacerations, and risk of infection. There is an extremely high risk of violence. Then there's the psychological damage. Many women who have worked in prostitution suffer from PTSD. Have you read any serious reports on the effects of prostitution? Or to be crude, let's imagine someone said why don't you let a few men go up your arse every day for cash, it's just a job isn't it?

Why don't you humor me then?

Why should I humor you?

MrGHardy. Others have already commented on how ridiculous a comparison it is but in case you missed it -The difference is consent. The "guy" has not bought sex, he bought a drink.

I honestly do not understand how anyone could not grasp such a simple concept.

Lass that is rather patronizing of you. I am not here to troll/provoke you (I am sure you agree I could have done that much better with a lot less effort). Why don't you humor me then? Or read my other post, that wasn't as crude as the bar example.

When you pay your hairdresser are you buying their consent? Afterall they would not freely cut your hair unless you paid them. No you are buying a service. Same with a prostitute-its not her consent that is being purchased it is her service

Oh good grief.

If some guy goes to a bar, buys a woman drinks and they end up having sex, how different is that?

I could explain but the fact you ask the question shows you would not understand the explanation.

They do indeed. Personally I did not pay for others on a date for that very reason (although being in a relationship I do now but I feel that's different).

And ABeauty I honestly don't understand. Edit: this is a bit long I think but I am genuinely interested, so would be nice to hear your thoughts.

What is the difference between a woman meeting a man getting aroused and having sex and a woman meeting a man who says hey look I will pay you, do you want to have sex? One reason is "passion" (or what you want to call it) the other is "money". But it's not really money, it's what money can buy, so it could be anything really. Why does consent require "passion"?

If there is some guy asking strangers to do something, they decline and he then offers them money and they do it, were they extorted? Here we also have a case of "not freely given consent".

What about a hypothetical. A woman is approached by another woman who tells her that her employer will pay ten million pounds for sex. And she says yes. Imagine two cases, one the employer is a famous actor whom the woman would have had sex with anyway and two the employer is some repulsive asshole. Would you consider both scenarios the same, as consent not freely given?

Because it is not freely given consent. The woman would not have sex otherwise.

I would view sugar daddies as a form of prostitution too, if the woman is only having sex to obtain money or gifts.

Sadly, some men do think that buying a drink means the woman owes them something in return.

"Bought consent is not consent" - that is an opinion that many people will not share. Could you provide reasoning why you hold that opinion?

If she would not have slept with him otherwise...why is the act of transferring dirty pieces of paper so offensive? What about sugar babies / sugar daddies?

"But yes, I find it hard to see what is wrong with two consenting adults to exchange sex for money."

Bought consent is not consent. It is a form of financial coercion.

" If some guy goes to a bar, buys a woman drinks and they end up having sex, how different is that?"

I find it depressing that you don't understand the difference. The difference is consent. The "guy" has not bought sex, he bought a drink.

exactly

It's the oldest job in the book, to be cliche. And you should have been more crude - you are not just providing access to your body (many jobs do that), you are providing access to your genitals, to being penetrated. Because that is the issue, isn't it?

If anything, prostitution harms society as a whole, but not the two people involved, with it's perpetuation of the message "women are sex objects".

But yes, I find it hard to see what is wrong with two consenting adults to exchange sex for money. If some guy goes to a bar, buys a woman drinks and they end up having sex, how different is that? Plenty of guys that would think there is no difference. Personally, I don't know. But I do find it hard to judge people for their choices.

Prostitution is not a job, it's not a "customer service role". Providing access to your body is not the same as working and providing a service or skill.

It's interesting that you don't view prostitution generally as harming anyone, if you're convinced that the prostitute you're imagining is happy and doing it free from any coercion/harmful reason. I think prostitution generally is harmful to everyone, in how it encourages men to view women and the kind of environment it promotes. Never mind the trafficking/pimps/underage victims etc etc that you want to discount.

The German mega brothels and the roadside huts are grim and desperate beyond belief. I can't agree with anyone who thinks that's how our society should be.

I am sorry but how is that different to any other job vesuvia? Or are you saying there literally is no other job for said woman available? I find that hard to believe. And if not, even then, it wouldn't be like she's the only unemployed.

xxHappyHippyxx wrote - "I still can't see a problem with a woman deciding she wants to get paid to take part in whatever it is, once again, as long as it's not hurting other people and she can still say no at any point. She is then in the position of power as she has the thing that he wants."

What if she has no money? He has money and wants sex. She refuses sex. He goes elsewhere for sex. She still has no money. And she supposedly has the power?

xxHappyHippyxx

Have you read this article? All but one of the women photographed is now dead.

“What I had not expected was their pain. But their ordeals are not unique to Mexico. I’ve been to India and live in the U.S. — the lives of prostituted women are the same around the world.”

m.huffpost.com/us/entry/us_597ba182e4b09982b7376482

@AssassinatedBeauty yeah, I'm saying it could be, it should be up to any adult what their own boundaries are re what they're willing to do for money; I'm not suggesting she's going to be 'enthusiastic' about every client she entertains but anyone in a customer service role has to deal with people they might not give the same consideration to in their personal time.

I think putting the blame on punters for meeting trafficked victims would only make them less likely to report, and makes the pimp/trafficker/real criminal less likely to ever get punished. The examples of men in the article who actively prefer underage and exploited women are a problem, but I just can't bring myself to believe that's the majority for the sake of my sanity and OK maybe I'm too idealistic.

And as for fetishes, yeah, I suppose you probably can find like-minded people online which then has the added bonus of being cheaper but I still can't see a problem with a woman deciding she wants to get paid to take part in whatever it is, once again, as long as it's not hurting other people and she can still say no at any point. She is then in the position of power as she has the thing that he wants..

@xxHappyHippyxx, you're of the opinion that paid-for consent is true enthusiastic positive consent?

In this day and age, any man with an unusual fetish can surely find an online home full of similar enthusiasts and find someone to explore their fetish with. If they can't persuade anyone to do so, well, I'm afraid that's tough luck and you shouldn't have the right to buy someone's consent.

I think of the two kinds of men who use prostitutes single men feel shame at their inability to attract a woman, and married/attached men obviously want to keep it quiet.

Closest I've ever gotten is driving around London my own father pointed at some fancy looking building and said that's where all the high price escorts are. Needless to say I shut that down pretty fucking quickly. He's not mentioned anything since!

So no I don't think it requires much social pressure. I think they all know they are on thin ice ethically speaking.

And I totally agree that if someone admitted to having a murder/child abuse 'fetish' then they need psychological help not a way to explore it...

Exploring a strange fetish is not a "need" and if they can't find someone to explore that fetishism consensually maybe they should forgo it.

OK but I did say as long as nobody is getting hurt and it was consensual. And there's lots of things in life that we do just for fun that we don't need.