DP thinks that women shouldn't be more afraid of men than men should be because more men are murdered than women.

'we are comditioned', sadly by posts like this. I never see mens chat rooms insisting against all available evidence that women should be afraid 24-7.

I hear it most from feminist campaigners.

I have campaigned where I live against local narratives of fear, which pegged poor areas as no go areas. In fact the crime against the person rates were lowest in those areas, but some politicians wanted to damage the reputation of those areas. Some were using a sexual assault.. An unwanted forced kiss, into 'people are always getting raped'
It's the same agenda as 'women should stay at home'
It makes me uncomfortable.

But it's about internalised blame isn't it. As women we are conditioned to believe that we are more vulnerable and to believe that if we are hurt/attacked it will be our faults unless we have complied with the 1000s of ridiculous and ever changing rules (don't drink,don't go out after dark, don't dress like that) we internalise that risk and modify our behaviours because of it.

We also fear sexual assault which is not irrational -1 in 4.

If a man is attacked walking home from the pub then it's bad luck but not his fault. Even if he was shitfaced.

I wonder if some of it is transference. The fear of strangers is clearly irrational but it is easier than fearing the men we love, who are far more likely to harm us.

I also think there are reasons why the patriarchy has evolved to operate like this. Women are taught that the outside world is full of scary men and therefore we need our nice men to protect us. It therefore restricts our freedoms and makes us more easily controlled.

It's a racket though. If it wasn't for men we wouldn't need men to protect us.

It's not the men making women afraid, it's the irrationally scared women trying to get other women to join them in their agenda based paranoia.

If women are unlikely to be attacked by strangers, and unlikely to be attacked at all, and. many times more unlikely to be attacked than men or boys, why are so many of you telling women they should feel permanently afraid, whilst telling men they shouldn't be?

So women would be infinitely safer walking home alone in an area they know noone?

Men are usually killed by men.
Women are usually killed by men.

Women are usually killed by men they know eg partner, husband, father etc.

So although more men are killed it is the killers you should be looking at not the victims.

Someone breaks in to your house with an axe - just picture that in your mind.

Get your oh to do the same - did you see a male or a female?

Is your OH more scared of you in that situation or the person with the axe?

Then have look at male violence in general, why is the prison population overwhelmingly male?

Why increase the fear to 'always' when the facts mean you should almost never be afraid. What's your agenda?

But you don't know when or where that possibility is going to become reality. If i am walking home alone at night I'll always feel afraid because there's always that vulnerability.

I agree that the focus should be on the perpetrator, whoever the victim.

Women are not rarely assaulted scary

Way to go to blame the victim Ginger .

Both my brothers have been mugged at different times and in different places, one at knifepoint - should I tell them to be more careful next time?

One of my brothers was also the victim of domestic violence - that his fault too?

I get sick of the "all men are to blame" bullshit. As the sister of two wonderful men and the mum of two beautiful boys, it's bullshit.

Why increase the fear to 'always' when the facts mean you should almost never be afraid. What's your agenda?

1/4 sexual attacks and similar number I believe for domestic violence.

Does he think you have to be murdered to be scared of men?

Ask him if walking down the street and being raped by a huge man would be OK for him then? Because that's the fear women have.

It's not a competition. It's not necessary to decide which group ought to be most afraid of male violence. Male violence is the problem, regardless.

More men in total are hurt/killed by other men. When women are attacked, sexually assaulted or killed it is overwhelmingly by men. Therefore both men and women ought to be afraid of male violence.

Women are 'supposed' to be afraid of assault, but are rarely assaulted, men are 'supposed' to never be afraid and go anywhere, and are infinitely more likely to be assaulted. Can you see how the different messages are at the root of the outcomes?

The issue isn't who the victims are. It's who the perpetrators are. Men.

I've always said this. While all the focus is on frightening young women out of going anywhere on their own, the ones far more likely to be attacked are young men. Girls nowadays are scared of their own shadow whereas boys aren't allowed to be cautious. It's all arse about face.

Men are more likely to be the perpetrators.

As I said, to avoid attack and murder, all the vast majority of men have to do is a avoid drink, be careful of the company they keep and watch their own tempers.

A lot of murdered men were caught up in fights which didn"t go their way.

They are more likely to have physically risky jobs (police, soldiers fire fighters, prison officers), are more likely to engage in risky behaviours (crime, drink, drugs) and are more likely to gather together in crowds where such people are more likely to be (football hooligans).

If they sobered up, stopped mixing with the wrong crowd and kept a weather eye on potential flashpoints, the male murder rate could be more rhan halved.

It isn't a bloody competition who should be more afraid. Male violence is the problem.

As a feminist I'd focus on the problem. Male violence.
If we can fix that then...

Men have a fighting chance. Women don't.

Most of the mistaken impression that women are attacked more than men comes from the feminist conversation I'm afraid. Men are far more vulnerable to assault, maiming, death and life changing injury than women, yet the most quoted narrative is of male safety and women being unsafe everywhere they go. Rather sadly, making women feel overly vulnerable is necessary to being subsequently horrified that women feel unsafe.

It's one of my biggest problems with the current feminist narrative.

www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/crimeandjustice/compendium/focusonviolentcrimeandsexualoffences/yearendingmarch2016/homicide#how-do-homicide-rates-vary-across-the-population

Most males who are murdered are killed by friends/business associates/fellow criminals.

The vast majority of murdered women are killed by family, lovers and former lovers.

The rare stranger murders are horrific and are salaciously pored over in the press.

Men need to stop getting so drunk and be careful oof who the associate with, most women need to live like hermits and avoid fathers, brothers, boyfriends, husbands and sons.

Are women afraid of being murdered by men? Or are they afraid of being raped by men? I've never especially been frightened of being murdered, is that just me?