Have I been reading these boards too long?!

Why couldn't a 'feminist' write an article about the appalling pressure girls are under to have anal sex to please boys who are over exposed to porn.

Yes, anal sex (any sex) is a choice.

It's a choice for adults.

NO clitoris. Non-prostate owner. Aimed at minors.

A magazine aimed at teenagers some of whom are under the age of consent, telling them how to do anal sex.

Gigi Engle, the author, is a self-styled writer, feminist and dick whisperer. She also writes for Teen Vogue on BDSM.

I'm not personally into anal or BDSM, but some people are. Whatever floats your boat - although there are power dynamic issues which sometimes cause a difference of opinion within feminism.

But thirteen year olds! THIRTEEN!!

Get the fuck off our children with your sex pozzy agenda.

'non Prostate owner'

I have recently 'woken' too OP.

I didn't sleep last night due to the rage. TeenVogue have just published a f**kin guide to Anal sex .....its so so appalling. They have included a diagram that shows girls are being reduced to fuckholes to satisfy men. Sorry - this has upset me so much...whereas 6 months ago it wouldn't even have registered on my radar. They have not even shown the clitoris so a girls main source of pleasure completely ignored. And to top it all - the diagram is labelled as that of a 'on Protate Owner'...reduced to a non male as female is clearly now an offensive term. Grrrr....

www.independent.co.uk/voices/teen-vogue-anal-sex-prostate-owner-sheila-michaels-feminism-teenagers-a7831671.html

Sorry - i don't know how tho get the link to post properly but I am fuming. I am seeing this anti woman crap everywhere.

Doopity Plus you've all done a number on my questioning of EVERYTHING. I don't think my hyper lefty friends quite know what's hit them.

Most of my hyper-lefty friends (now former ) were male. I guess they were the ones who shouted the loudest and debated most... anyway, unfortunately their misogyny (largely unconscious) manifested itself in a more interpersonal way hence the "former". And me now re-evaluating things and saddened by knowing I invested in relationships with people who don't really view me as human. Knowing sexist statements went unchallenged, that bullying man who groped me was allowed to sneer at me and speak over me and generally do little things to snub me, the general all men piling in to debate and it being so hard to speak at all, them claiming a black person can never be racist but NAMALTING all over the place and calling me sexist.

Same people, incidentally, refer to another guy as "rapist Andy" (not real name) after he allegedly sexually assaulted someone, yet a person who assaulted me (comparable situation) was welcome in their homes... due to weird taking sides type behaviour (that both sexes do actually) but actually based on some other kind of discrimination where they pretend to be morally outraged in one situation but turn a blind eye when it happens to someone else. Purely out of loyalty to the guy who assaulted me (and quite possibly discrimination on mental health grounds to the other guy). The fake right-on-ness outrages me! And of course they're all tied up with trans now. (They weren't 100% awful of course, but this stuff grated even when I couldn't adequately express it).

Sorry if I'm rambling, I don't think this is all feminism related. I'm finding the personal nature of some of this quite hard to deal with.

BigKids I can't watch any comedy shows / panel shows any more as the token woman pisses me off so much.

I was fuming the other day watching Mock the Week. Nish Kumar and Romesh Ranganathan were on it, and (mainly Nish IIRC) kept making jokes about them filling diversity quotas, it being UKIPs least favourite episode etc. There was, as you say, ONE woman on the panel (Angela Barnes). It concerns me I may be becoming less sympathetic to other issues, especially racism, as it seems to be the cause célèbre and all I see is privileged men (for those who play privilege bingo, I technically "win" over, say, Nish Kumar, as despite being white I am female, "mental", and poor.... but the realities of privilege in the real world mean that my viewpoint is actually worth less as even the social justice warriors don't tend to follow their own reasoning...!) Not that I don't care about racism, but more that I care about the underdog which weirdly means I find it harder to give any emotional energy to causes lots of people already care about, iyswim. Argh, apologies, I have been thinking about this a lot recently.

On a lighter note, there was a great moment on The Last Leg in March. All male line-up, including Harry Hill. He sat down, looked around, and said: "On the week of International Women's Day, may I just congratulate you on your excellent line-up?" (to big laugh and applause).

Since joining MN, reading this board in particular and raising teen daughters I have become more strident in my feminist views. Thank you all

And the louder I shout (metaphorically) about it, to clear the path for my daughters, the more teen-eye-rolling I get because I'm like a stuck record and they think they know it all already

In many ways I hope life will be different for them and they won't be subjected to the same misogyny delusional hope

Me too!
The most painful thing, I think is that I have recently become all too aware that my own subconscious keeps letting me down.
I have always thought of myself as a feminist, and try my hardest to use critical thinking etc, and yet yesterday as I squeezed into the space next to an atrociously parked 4 X 4, I thought to myself "wow hasn't she parked badly, its because of women like her that we have a reputation for being bad drivers". Of course, while I was getting dd out of her car seat the driver returned to the other car. It was a man. I was so pissed off with myself, but if I am leaping to conclusions like that, what must be going on in the heads of those who wont even recognise that sexism still exists?

I think you have to remember everyone is the victim of misogynistic patriarchy. It's core values are a widespread delusion. People can perpetuate the misogynistic values in complete ignorance. No point hating people for blind ignorance, they just need to be educated.

It really is, as PP has said upthread, that once your eyes are opened to it they can't be closed again. I have to avoid most of the threads on AIBU because, lately, they all seem to be about cheeky little scamp husbands who won't pick up their pants or cook a meal and there are pages of people agreeing and eye rolling about what men are like. I want to wade in and scream WAKE UP FOR GODS SAKE! But I don't

Recently I had to change the radio station I listen to because I find the breakfast show presenter a raging misogynist.

YES. Though I do wonder sometimes if it's confirmation bias.

After all, Red Pill dudes see MISANDRY!!! everywhere, and their perception doesn't necessarily bear any resemblance to reality.

But every time someone tells me something like "our chairman is a woman, because we wouldn't call her a chair, she's not for sitting on" (why not chairwoman? Or a chairperson? Or some other word then?) I restrain myself from rolling my eyes. And think of Man Who Has It All.

Plus you've all done a number on my questioning of EVERYTHING. I don't think my hyper lefty friends quite know what's hit them. (The conservative types are much more used to debating me)

So thank you feminism board! I have lurked a long time and you've indoctrinated me pretty thoroughly (with your "logic" and "reason" and "thoughtful arguments", how dare you.)

I'm just the same and agree with pps that you can't unsee it. I love old 70s and 80s music but blimey - some of the lyrics! This site has been good for me though, I know far more now than I did 10 years ago and I think (hope!) that dh and 24yr old ds are more aware of casual misogyny and feminist issues through my reading on here. My dad rolls his eyes at me sometimes when i call him out on stuff, but I'll keep trying.

Totally agree. It used to be a lot easier when DH and I were out in mixed company and I would meet a girlfriend's eyes over something one of them said. Didn't even have to start in with the eye rolling, just meeting each other's gaze was enough.

Now, in my head, there's a klaxon going off - Warning! Warning! Male Entitlement!

Once you have mentally identified it and then named it, the label applies everywhere.

Having googled it though - peafowl is apparently the term for both of them. I have never heard that word before, and will see if I can work it into conversation!

I was horrified by the ending of My Fair Lady after not seeing it for years.

Also reading a book yesterday where peacocks were mentioned, and then suddenly a peahen was referenced. I hadn't even considered that cock being male obviously meant that these birds were referred to by default as the male.

Well that one's going to be because when you think peacock, what you're thinking of is the cock - a peahen doesn't have the fancy tail or bright blue plumage - it's just a giant brown bird. - that one at least makes sense.

Kids TV is often awful. My kids are watching some new Netflix thing based around Cirque du Soleil (!?!?) and it's basically all about the female characters emotionally supporting the male ones. Every episode I've overheard so far had one of the male characters getting miffed about something, and the female characters apologising for being thoughtless and falling over themselves to do wifework for them.

And don't even get me started on Mike the Knight.

Yep. It's like seeing the world through different eyes.

It gets frustrating/depressing sometimes when you're just trying to relax and enjoy some bit of popular culture to have to spot all the sexism in it but you can't unsee it once it's there.

I saw an advert for the channel 4 drama Merciless. It's Brazilian so had an English bloke describing what it was about -a serial killer of young women, who starts playing a "dangerous, sexy" game with the female detective investigating his crimes. Partner -who is pretty clued up on feminism -knows I like crime dramas and asked if we should watch it. I just felt revolted by the idea that this serial killer was 'sexy', that young women being killed was implied to be kinda hot, and that I could get off on it. Bleugh.

Also reading a book yesterday where peacocks were mentioned, and then suddenly a peahen was referenced. I hadn't even considered that cock being male obviously meant that these birds were referred to by default as the male.

I'm the same...I see it everywhere and hold my head in my hands. So many things make me uncomfortable or I just can't enjoy then anymore, like panel shows and sit"com"s, for example. But I wouldn't go back. Thank you to everyone on MN who has helped me wake up to this.

I spent most of the day with in laws. They are lovely people. We went to a small zoo (my opinion on zoos was put on ice for the sake of family harmony). They referred to every single animal as male (lots of birds and reptiles so no obvious cues). Even dd, who due to my relentlessness refers to ambiguous creatures as female, started to revert to male pronouns. I sighed deeply and will begin again tomorrow.

lazybabyirl describes my experience perfectly.

It's ruining and enlightening my life at the same time. See patriarchy and misogyny everywhere and I get so CROSS... my poor hubby bears the brunt!! However feel so much more powerful in the knowledge and I starving for more, so more power to us women!!

Love Phil Collins

I didn't necessarily think it was about rape, but the whole 'I'm only human, don't blame me' thing had me

I can't watch a film, read a book, overhear a conversation, watch my kids interact with others.....without the constant rad Fem buzz going on in my head. It's relentless.
I wouldn't go back, though.