I'm fucking sick of male violence

I think any violent predator is more of a threat inside the home or family unit than outside of it @HandbagKrabby

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-40529081

The age is chilling not that it's a huge surprise to me, just the awareness that a boy of my age is capable of harbouring such violent misogynistic views of women and girls and fully able to carry out such an attack.

Not on this thread no, but that's probably because it's in FWR. I was making more of a general point really.

Does it though? Is the man that is capable of murdering a child or a partner purely opportunist? Would he not be violent if women were better educated about domestic violence and red flags?

Do you think someone is "NAMALTing" on this thread @QueenoftheAndals ?

You could view all safety awareness as victim blaming, I suppose. But if everyone refuses to get into a car with a drunk driver and threatens to call the police, it adds up to peer pressure. If everyone knows good taxi-using precautions it drastically reduces opportunity for rogue drivers/attackers. And so on.

Unfortunately any time you raise the point that male violence is a huge problem in society, the NAMALT crowd soon descend, with talk of how women can be violent too and stories about how their best friend's sister's cousin once decked her husband. Because the plural of anecdote is always data. I guarantee the same would happen if OP had posted this same thread in AIBU or Chat. Women falling over each other to deny the reality of male violence.

You misunderstand me. I absolutely wasn't saying it shouldn't be taught.

I wish I hadn't read that

The conviction of the man who killed two of his girlfriends reminded me of a case here in Scotland, of a man who killed his first wife then tried to kill his second in the way -Wikipedia I remember following the case in the press and I think there was a documentary about it, as the conviction followed a lot of effort with Grampian Police working with the New Zealand police.

What is most horrifying is everything else that he is suspected of but there isn't/wasn't enough evidence against him. Well, that and the numerous attempts he made to appeal his conviction and torment his victim's family (they wanted to alter her gravestone but were told they had to ask his permission) .

Sick and tired of it here too.

And increasingly puzzled why male violence is not more under scrutiny?

Male violence kills more men than any other kind of violence too, so you'd think that the powers that be would have an interest of looking at it any way...

Prevention training/red flag awareness is not victim blaming. its essential, we you dont learn it we cant teach it to our kids. It needs to be taught alongside other strategies.

There isnt one thing that will stop male violence other than men just not doing it.

In fact one of the major issues in our society with DV is we assume once a woman leaves that's the end of it. It isn't.

Sadly you cannot guarantee the police will protect you, it's a lottery.

I see where you're coming from serf and I more than anyone think that we should be giving education in schools about red flags in relationships but the fact remains that 1) it smacks to me of victim blaming (not saying that was your intention so hope that doesn't come off as confrontational) and 2) you can be as educated about DV as you want and still fall prey to it.

Say you know all the DV red flags and you see one in your new partner so you immediately leave. That doesn't protect you from being stalked, attacked or killed by him.

Male violence won't ever stop until society stops enabling and normalising it. Putting the onus on women to protect themselves is not going to help in the long run.

I have just reported my thread 'In the News' because other posters have rightly pointed out that there are contempt of court issues.

However, I will say I agree with a PP about supporting women to make the right choices. I put up with some ridiculous shit - not violence - from previous boyfriends because I felt having one was better than not having one. I was young and attractive, intelligent and I felt that was all I was worth. Society has a lot to answer for.

This is an oddly controversial position on MN, but I think one of the things we need to do is to outlaw hitting children. So much easier to get early intervention when any kind of violence is against the law.

I can't read it but I can imagine. It's horrific and I'm fucking sick of it. I started a thread about the turd who murdered two partners and it's just not as interesting as a parking thread so it disappeared pretty quickly.

I feel the world is full of people making excuses for male violence from day 1. Boisterous boys in reception nearly had my dc in casualty but it's to be expected apparently. If from 4 or younger you're being told it's ok to hit out it's bound to stick. A lot of men hit out at people they see as weaker because they are so inadequate ime. Poor sanctions and policing don't help. A couple of years for murdering your partner's child is hardly a massive deterrent.

That's a really good idea Terf

Actually, I'm going to backtrack.

Empowering women to avoid and resist male violence IS a solution, I think, or at least a part of one.

It's removing opportunity to abuse, creating a hostile environment for abusers (a country in which the patterns and mechanisms of male violence are understood) and it's supportive of a zero-tolerance approach. It can be practical, ground-level, empowering to individual women AND be part of the solution.

That was to @ImAFurchester

Empowering people to protect themselves and their children from male violence (and psychological, financial and sexual abuses) is a good idea, though, isn't it?

Particularly as it's hard to see how "solving male violence" is going to come about on a widespread basis.

We should be doing more of what works.

Horrific. Saw this on the BBC homepage yesterday, together with the case of the man who killed not one but TWO of his girlfriends and nearly got away with it. The police clearly didn't give a shit - it was only the persistence of the second girlfriend's parents that brought it to justice .

Agree that it's male violence we need to address head-on, not anything else. (Although addressing police and media indifference to male violence would also help.)

serf that's not solving the problem of male violence.

I know what you're saying.

But the other thing that went through my mind when I read the court report is that parents possibly need more support in making appropriate relationship choices or maybe just more social support so that early parenthood doesn't get so lonely.

How many of these cases are there every year in which an impoverished, isolated parent allows a de facto step-parent into their child's life and horrible abuse ensues?

Maybe a version of the "freedom project" materials should be taught in PSHE to older teens to help them recognise abusers and abusive behaviour.