Girls only schools

I'm very glad to hear that GetAHaircutCarl! The supportive environment is one of the things I love most about school, girls from all years looking out for and supporting others across the years. I also haven't had to leave for sixth form as my school continues into it

I get less anxious about my friendships with men and for some reason I find the friendships more straightforward. I enjoy the banter and humour and they seem less judgmental. I do have a number of close female friendships of course.

You have close friendships with women who make you anxious, are complex to be friends with and are judgemental but lacking in humour?

DD attended an all girls school from11-16.

It was fabulous. She went through puberty and took her first important exams in a completely supportive environment.

So many positive things to say about it.

And she went off to a mixed sixth form with no isfues.

I've always enjoyed the company of men / boys and I probably have more male friends now than female. I get less anxious about my friendships with men and for some reason I find the friendships more straightforward. I enjoy the banter and humour and they seem less judgmental. I do have a number of close female friendships of course. I work in a team where there are usually more men than women. Girls school would definitely not have suited me for this reason and I'm very thankful I wasn't sent to one.

"I predict that DD1 will struggle socially with boys when she leaves. She finds socialising difficult"

If your DD is introverted and socially anxious by nature, being in an environment that stresses her out (like mixed sex schools tend to with girls) will only make the shyness worse. Take it from an extremely anxious introvert - the trauma from being bullied by both sexes in a co-ed stilted my social skills for years. They only got significantly better (with both sexes) once I ended up in an almost all female workplace.

cuirderussie yeah, I felt like that too. My primary was near a big estate, and a lot of the boys there were well on their way to becoming total scumbags. I was glad to get shot of them.

Interesting thread. DD1 is off to a girls only comp in September so single sex schools which aren't selective certainly exist in the state sector.

She thrives in the company of girls. As an example at guides gets involved in all sorts and will try new things.

I see her growing down in capability in a mixed group. I am convinced that a single sex education is the right choice for her. I realise its not for everyone but think everyone should have the option (I know lots don't).

I suppose you only really have the luxury of choosing co-ed or single sex if you go private or live in a grammar school area. Aren't state schools usually co-ed?

I don't get the not being aware of sexism if you go to an all girls's school thing. What about all the time you aren't in school? Didn't you watch telly or read the papers? Didn't you study history, or politics or citizenship?
I didn't watch much tv no, i did a lot of sport instead. I was surrounded by strong female role models, including my awesome hardworking, super capable (single) mum. We had a female prime minister, things were changing, anything was possible. We seem to be going backwards now, although i suppose we do have a female pm again . When I did come across sexism later in life I had the self esteem and inner confidence/resilience to deal with it, to call it out and not back down, whether it was affecting me or others. That has to be a good thing. I don't think I would have had that if I had been to a mixed school.

I will however admit to somehow growing up completely oblivious to it all and thinking that it was all just part of life or part of the job to put up with it. I've had customers for instance yelling all sorts of inappropriate comments and I just shrug it off. I expect it.

And I'm desperately trying to think at what point I started accepting that this is how it is and how boys/men behave and it's my job to just deal with it. I can't pinpoint when it happened

I don't get the not being aware of sexism if you go to an all girls's school thing. What about all the time you aren't in school? Didn't you watch telly or read the papers? Didn't you study history, or politics or citizenship?

Seems like it's pretty much one extreme or the other really doesn't it?

On one hand you have people like me at mixed schools and have grown up amongst the different expectations and the boys will be boys attitudes and we barely even notice what's going on half the time any more. Having learning disrupted by boys And the comments in class was just normal. And those who feel they were somewhat sheltered from.it all.

T.v. wise I certainly never really watched stuff where it would have been obvious at the time.i watched things like x files and dark skies ghost programs or animal shows. The a levels at my school were appallingly badly run and I dropped out so I can't say whether it was even or not I don't really remember.

It's genuinely fascinating to me.

I went to a single sex state school. They're a lot more common in NZ than here. In my town there were three high schools. The girls' school always did best in exam results, then the boys' school, then the co-ed. Every single year.

I would very happily send my daughters to an all-girls school if there was one here.

I gained a lot of confidence and strength from seeing girls excel around me.

I definitely identify with this. It's brilliant seeing other girls achieving so much, I gain confidence from seeing girls of all ages doing so well in so many areas.

Well, I felt "built up" as a girl in a single sex school. I gained a lot of confidence and strength from seeing girls excel around me. I also come from a working class background and some of the boys in my neighbourhood were pretty rough, aggressive troublemakers, already petty criminals etc. I would have really hated having to deal with them in the classroom, they would have ruined it for the girls.

That is the strongest argument against girl's schools I have ever heard!

Don't worry. Going to a girls' school won't stop men harassing you in the street walking to school.

"until I was about 16, I really thought the sexist issues still there were just the last remnants of history and would soon be sorted out."

That is the strongest argument against girl's schools I have ever heard!

I used to think co-ed was the way to go.

I now believe firmly that single sex is better.

A lot of people worry about all-girls together creating a bitchy environment but I think hat can happen anywhere. Children tend to self-segregate. Don't kid yourselves. Generally the boys will be with the boys and the girls with the girls, come break time. I went to a mixed school and there was a lot of bullying amongst the girls. Having boys around made no difference.

I do believe girls push themselves to the front more when boys are out of the picture.

Equally, in boys schools, there is a greater take-up of arts subjects among boys than there would be in mixed schools.

There was awful misogyny and sexism and my mixed school but that was in the 90s, so going back a bit, maybe things have changed.

Didn't you watch telly
No. We didn't have one. That probably does make a difference.

And yes, I did study history, to degree level, but until I was about 16, I really thought the sexist issues still there were just the last remnants of history and would soon be sorted out.

Many undoubtedly do. However I've heard and read of so much misogyny at mixed schools, the rise in sexual assaults at schools and the figures for take up of STEM subjects by girls at mixed schools are shocking. There was a documentary a couple of years ago by Professor Alice Roberts in which she spoke to a group of girls and boys in Year 11 at a mixed school. She asked them if they were considering STEM subjects for A Level and beyond - only boys were. She asked the girls why none of them were and answers ranged from them being "too hard" and "just never really thought about it" to "they're for boys". This doesn't seem to be isolated given how poor the take up is at most mixed schools and how many girls study such subjects at girls' schools (the take up of arts subjects is also from what I know far greater amongst boys at boys' schools than mixed).

I can see how you could be somewhat shielded from aspects of sexism at a girls' school - you're far more free of stereotyping in terms of subjects, no field of work seems off limits as all passions are encouraged and women who've thrived in all sorts of careers come and give talks and so forth. We are taught we can achieve anything we want and nothing is off limits, which is quite a powerful message to receive throughout school time.

However, my friends and I are very aware of sexism and misogyny. Street harassment started for us all at a young age, plus we've long heard and read sexist comments from many boys at parties and online, how many boys our age speak of girls and women, influence of pornography, misogyny in the media and advertising, focus on appearance of girls and women, so many other issues that being at a girls' school can't hide from you.

Plenty of girls' schools including my own have feminist societies/groups and the schools themselves are aware of the sexism pupils do and will face - some heads have spoken about how best to equip pupils to challenge it.

I don't think it's so much a case of not being aware of sexism, more a case of not being aware how much it relates to you personally, or just how bad it can be.

Eg from birth dd has seen me do everything. So by the time she was old enough to be aware that some people consider changing a car tire or diy as a male task, and ironing and cleaning a female task, she was aware that is a load of rubbish. It happens, but it isn't relevant to her and therefore doesn't limit her.

No reason it can't work the same for other types of sexism too, like genitals dictating aptitude for a subject, or the right to equality. Awareness it happens but not something that you accept will happen to you. Obviously inequality will still happen, but as an adult you aren't going to just roll over and accept it.

I don't get the not being aware of sexism if you go to an all girls's school thing. What about all the time you aren't in school? Didn't you watch telly or read the papers? Didn't you study history, or politics or citizenship?

However, I think discovering sexism at a later stage meant I was less willing to accept it and will stand up to it. I think if you go through school never having a break from it, you're much more likely to internalise it and accept it

I think there's alot of truth in that. I don't even notice it half the time it literally took til my 30s and joining MN and reading some of the threads to realise just what I have had to put up with.

In a way it's my biggest worry of trying to help as pass the 11 plus with the aim of going to the all girls school. That somehow it's going to result in some massive shock and alot if frustration when she leaves as she discovers the world isn't really like what she's seen.

I went to an all girls' school and loved my school days.

I am a firm believer in single sex eduction for girls, but I don't think it is necessarily the best thing for boys.

We will be looking at single sex for DD, and co-ed for DS.