I feel like we're going backwards on gay rights...

I think it would be a little more than a disappointment. I take your point re violence but I don't think I'd be very comfortable with someone kept it a secret to that point.

And I doubt there are queues of homosexual men desperate for sex with a be-vaginaed man.

Of course not.
The reason what we see happening most is trranswomen coercing lesbians is that transwomen have male socialisation and feel entitled to women's bodies, that lesbians have female socialisation and thus feel they have to cater to males (subconsciously) so are more likely to be successfully manipulated, and of course the fact that males are physically stronger than women.
Most heterosexual transwomen wouldn't dare to try and bully a man into having sex with them, because they damn well know a homophobic man might just beat them up, and that they have no chance to physically force themselves on a man.

Transmen are less likely to have the entitled attitude, and those who do will soon learn that gay men are not manipulated so easily. (And also able to fight back physically)

I have no more desire to get up close and personal to a trans man's vagina than I imagine a lesbian would with a trans woman's penis.

I think there's a difference.
A penis where you expected a vulva is a boundary violation and implicit rape threat.
A vulva where you expected a penis ... I'd not feel threatened. More disappointed. (Considering how violent some female trans are, perhaps one should feel threatened, but women aren't told to not walk home alone at night in case a lesbian sexually assaults them with her vulva, so ...)

Because the trans-women who are coercing lesbians aren't interested in sex with men

I doubt if the vast majority of heterosexual men are interested in having sex with a be-penised woman either. And I doubt there are queues of homosexual men desperate for sex with a be-vaginaed man.

What a load of nonsense.

I see that I'm a straight "phallophile". Fine. I'm presumably also a "vaginaphobe". Fine.

I'm sexually attracted to men. Men born with xy chromosomes , a natural penis who have not had a mastectomy. I have no more desire to get up close and personal to a trans man's vagina than I imagine a lesbian would with a trans woman's penis.

coleridge

That link is just foul. A bunch of misogynistic straight men obsessed with sex. And control.

The only logical conclusion of shaming someone into having sex with you is that you're having sex with someone who doesn't want to.

The very definition of rape.

Calling it transphobic and trans-misogyny just eliminates any sexual orientation in one fell swoop.

The most galling part is that the biggest demographic, straight men, will never be targeted. Because the trans-women who are coercing lesbians aren't interested in sex with men.

I didn't mean eugenics quite that literally -although of course many gay men presumably would want the option of having children. I meant more that trans-ing is sexually mutilating gay teenagers.

Considering that most openly gay men don't have biological children anyway, I am not sure they consider the sterilization a problem.
No one ever tried to get rid of gay men via eugenics - I mean, forcing them by social pressure to marry women pretty much ensures that they have more children than they'd normally have.

Though perhaps they will wake up to the fact that if half of all gay boys are transed, that means less adult gay men the remaining gay men can date, as for all that they'll defend trans, I can't imagine many gay men are attracted to males whose reproductive organs are horribly mutilated and who never went through male puberty.
(And they certainly don't want to be with transmen. Even the gay men who tell lesbians to suck it up and suck trans dick wouldn't even think of performing cunnilingus on a transman)

My one hope for being saved from the full Handmaid's Tale scenario is that gay men will finally wake up to the fact that sterilising (mainly) gay kids through PBs, hormones & surgery is gay eugenics.

Gay men are lower than straight men in the hierarchy but they are still higher than women and - importantly - TRAs are getting huge cover from the LGBTQ lobby. At the moment, it's really only lesbians calling for the lobby to "Drop the T". But - if men start calling for it - the media might actually pay attention.

I didn't mean he was shaken up because an overweight person liked him! I should be more careful with my phrasing...

No worries, to me, it was very obvious what you meant. As I wrote, I consider it possible your fiancé was targeted because he isn't physically intimidating.

They don't try this shit on bodybuilder types ...

I totally agree.

Homophobia has always been somewhat connected to misogyny. I would even say, homophobia is the logical consequence of misogyny.

Lesbians are punished for rejecting men, gay men are punished for questioning the patriarchal sexuality. If "sex" consists of a person fucking an object (and that's what patriarchal definition of sex is) then prison rape is no problem (and indeed, I am sure most men who do it don't identify as gay, or are even attracted to men) but two men in a loving relationship who see each other as equals? That just can't be. Women might want to be seen as equals, too, if they are exposed to that sort of thing.

I see the trans nonsense as a backlash against feminism. It is homophobic because homophobia is needed to back up patriarchal ideology.

Men fucking men in dresses is okay with patriarchy, because then, the hierarchy is clear.

Men in dresses fucking women is also okay, as while it might officially be called a lesbian relationship, you don't have to ask who's being fucked.

Women being in relationships with women? Fine as long as they are still willing to be fucked by men.

Note that the worst thing a transactivist can think of is a TERF, a trans exclusive radical feminist.

That's the worst thing a woman can do to a man: Excluding him. Not insulting him, not beating him up, not raping him, not killing him - simply not allowing him to enter her space.

That's what the whole trans movement is up against. Women excluding men.

Male violence is sometimes mentioned as reason why males totally need access to women's spaces, to be safe from other males, but much more often, there's just some nebulous statement "many transwomen are murdered!" without acknowledging that they are murdered by males.

What this man did to your fiancé was horrible. And yes, nowadays, everyone and their sister (not their mother ... I hope) would be on the side of the harrasser.

For a lesbian, it is a given that the male who tries to bully her into letting him rape her will be stronger than her, and she's also (to varying degree) socialized to appease males, so more likely to not even dare to reject him in the first place.
(I don't often hear transactivists demand that straight men have sex with transwomen. Probably because they are well aware many men would just punch them in the face instead of politely pointing out that they're straight. Might not be a coincidence that your fiancé was targeted instead of someone as big as the harasser ...)