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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

I feel like we're going backwards on gay rights...

38 replies

coleridge · 29/06/2017 19:27

See the 23 screenshots at this link:

www.reddit.com/r/GenderComical/comments/6ispks/hang_on_if_its_a_fetish_to_prefer_a_certain_type/

This chain of screenshots made me feel so bad for lesbians, especially young lesbians like the poor girl in the 3rd screenshot. It is absolute nonsense to be physically male but claim you're a lesbian and attack female lesbians with this nonsense about the cotton ceiling and how transphobic they are to not have sex with you. The great thing about sex in free, civilised societies is that you can decide not to have sex with any person for any reason and don't have to justify it! The same goes for gay men and, to a lesser extent, straight people* who are being told off for their sexuality (note - SEXuality, not GENDER), though it definitely seems like the lesbians bear the brunt of it. I'm not a lesbian, but it really makes me feel for them. How do self-proclaimed feminists encourage this?! You don't shame someone for being homosexual, you don't shame someone for not being attracted to someone, and you sure as hell don't try to change their preferences. What happened to acceptance and 'born this way'? Why are so many people so content to go backwards?

Just wanted to rant a bit and inspire conversation. Feel free to use this thread to meander about anything related to the topic.

*My fiancé had an acquaintance who announced one day that he was a woman, without making any physical changes, and developed an obsession with him. This transwoman then put him through hell for a year for not wanting to enter a relationship and my fiancé made the mistake of telling the transwoman he was straight, which didn't go down well (because obviously theirs would be a straight relationship). This person was twice my fiancé's weight and the weird obsession really left him shaken up. It's just so much entitlement - even if my fiancé were attracted to transwomen, he still doesn't owe any individual one a relationship! And this was a few years before all this transactivism stuff blew up...I'm sure he (my fiancé) would be duly shamed by other people if this happened nowadays.

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Rumandraisin1 · 09/07/2017 21:22

I think some day, he and many other young people will be bringing legal action and criminal charges against the people who did this terrible wrong to them.

I think so too. I have to hope that at some point the tide will turn and there will be a backlash but I think there will be a lot of negative consequences if/ when that happens e.g. the NHS, schools etc being sued for mutilating children - and then having to try to treat large numbers of detransitioners. A backlash against 'political correctness', liberal lefties etc even though a lot of people who would generally consider themselves in that category are against this - and against LGB people because this is being done under the umbrella of LGBT rights and by LGBT organisations, even those these organisations no longer genuinely reflect the interests of these groups anyway.

Rumandraisin1 · 09/07/2017 21:14

I feel like more people are getting to 'peak trans'. Maybe I'm wrong but there seems to be more wiggle room for raising an eyebrow about sports teams and who you chose to sleep with compared to a year ago. Am I being naive and hopeful?

I hope the tide is turning but I think it's really difficult to tell - I think a lot of people don't believe in it but don't see the harm in it (e.g. 'obviously he's not really a woman and it's all a bit daft but if he wants to call himself Brenda and be referred to as 'she', I'll go along with it'). I also think a lot of people are worried to voice their views for fear of social ostracism, losing their job etc. I also don't have a clear view of what is like in schools and universities and for young people generally but everything I do hear concerns me (although some teachers are still doing what they can - www.transgendertrend.com/dilemma-of-teachers/ )

TheNoseyProject · 09/07/2017 19:15

I feel like more people are getting to 'peak trans'. Maybe I'm wrong but there seems to be more wiggle room for raising an eyebrow about sports teams and who you chose to sleep with compared to a year ago. Am I being naive and hopeful?

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 09/07/2017 18:58

I think it is the assumption that we are all sexual beings and it is oppressive to asexuals.

I.e saying " not got a boyfriend/ girlfriend yet?" to someone who has no interest in getting a boyfriend or a girlfriend regardless of their biological sex or gender expression (I could be completely wrong)

OuchBollocks · 09/07/2017 18:15

I shudder to even ask but - allonormativity?

Datun · 09/07/2017 18:00

Going back to the OP, i've posted this on another thread. But it seems to me that the LGB community really is under attack, including from people identifying as queer now.

Can't really make this out, except it looks like some kind of sour grapes reaction.

I feel like we're going backwards on gay rights...
Datun · 09/07/2017 17:56

cuirderussie

I agree. Although sometimes I wonder if the tragedy might be that they don't actually feel sexual attraction because their physical puberty has been stunted. So they may not realise what they're missing.

cuirderussie · 09/07/2017 16:51

Datun I think some day, he and many other young people will be bringing legal action and criminal charges against the people who did this terrible wrong to them.

Datun · 09/07/2017 16:41

scaryclown

Yes! Grin

scaryclown · 09/07/2017 16:27

Isn't it a human right to have your phobias respected?

Datun · 09/07/2017 16:26

cuirderussie

He's never going to have a proper sex life. I can't believe people are celebrating this shit.

cuirderussie · 09/07/2017 16:23

Poor Jazz. Without those weird parents I think he would probably be simply an effeminate pretty gay man and have a normal anonymous life.

Datun · 08/07/2017 23:50

I know Lass. That's why I said he was 'busy' letting straight men know they were now being targeted.

Sorry, perhaps that wasn't clear by my post.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 08/07/2017 15:37

Um, Tucker Carlson is firmly on side with the view that straight men everywhere have the right not to sleep with men. From other comments he has made he is firmly on the side of every one having the right to turn down anyone.

He was quoting trans activist Zinnia Jones and pouring scorn on Jones.

Datun · 08/07/2017 15:05

Tucker Carlson is busy letting straight men everywhere know that their right ( right, mind you, not choice) not to sleep with men is 'misplaced and inappropriate'.

MaximumVolume · 04/07/2017 17:07

@coleridge said "The more straight men do get targeted, the more likely it is that we'll see a fuss kicked up that people will actually pay attention to..."

Tada!

I feel like we're going backwards on gay rights...
VestalVirgin · 04/07/2017 12:56

I recently had a thread on the feminist boards deleted because it provoked the trans, apparently.
But since we haven't had much misogynists in other threads, I suppose that was an isolated incident, perhaps some misogynist googling and finding my thread.

Datun · 04/07/2017 12:51

*Threads!
Blush

Datun · 04/07/2017 12:46

No BertrandRussell

And it's quite interesting to note that even when these sorts of threats are posted in AIBU, there is far less dissent than there used to be.

BertrandRussell · 04/07/2017 12:17

Has anyone come to accuse everyone of transphobia then hide the thread yet?

QueenOfTheSardines · 04/07/2017 12:10

Some men, enough men, are not comfortable with the idea that women are allowed to choose who they have sex with. Cue loads of problems for women throughout history - male ownership, virgin/whore stuff, rape etc.

Women who don't want to have sex with men AT ALL are open to even greater disapprobation.

None of this is anything new. Women should fuck who men want them to fuck and lesbians just need some dick. Yeah whatever.

Datun · 03/07/2017 17:16

Has Jazz had cross sex hormones? He certainly looks like he has. In which case, as far as I know, they are irreversible. He cannot grow an adult penis now, ever.

QueenLaBeefah · 01/07/2017 16:59

I feel sorry for Jazz too. I'm not convinced her parents really have her best interests at heart.

VestalVirgin · 01/07/2017 16:54

On a different note, the more I see about Jazz, the sorrier I feel for the poor kid,

Yeah, for the transed kids, I feel somewhat sorry.
No one admits to them that next to no one will be sexually attracted to them.
Adults delude themselves about it, too, but having already experienced sexual attraction themselves, they should know how it works.

Allegedly, puberty blockers are reversible - would it be possible to put Jazz on male hormones now?

if not, why not?

Because he's heterosexual, obviously.

But yes, it is a question we should ask any time it comes up.

(Though I assume most heterosexual and penis-wielding transwomen are clever enough to pretend that they'd have sex with another bepenised transwoman. In theory. And then it just wouldn't ever actually happen. )

BraveBear · 01/07/2017 16:38

Where are all the discussions about whether these "lesbians with penises who want to fuck lesbians with vaginas" would also sleep with another "lesbian with penis"? It's always about how mean girls are to not share their genitals with anyone who wants them. Eddie Izzard - would he have sex with another lesbian with a penis? if not, why not?