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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

I've just lied on a dbs check.

64 replies

IWillCrushYouLikeABug · 09/06/2017 21:16

I need one but it won't let me out two surnames with concurrent dates?!

It's incredibly common for a woman to use their birth name at work and a married name for personal use. My passports are in my maiden name. My bank accounts and driving licence are in my married name.

I'm fully expecting this to flag up and cause a problem as I've had to say I stopped using my married name 10 years ago... but still used my passport to do the dbs check.

but what the fuck am I supposed to do?

If society is going to pressure women to change their names it would be beneficial if it actually assumed we were part of society and needed to use its services!

And before anyone feels the need to say I shouldn't have changed my name.. yes you are right. I didnt want to. Ten year too late now though to undo it thanks. And if anyone had warned me why a ball ache it could be I'd have probably stood my ground.

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AllPizzasGreatAndSmall · 09/06/2017 22:02

Why the hell do people still use the term 'maiden name'; why not use 'birth name' or 'original name'?

zzzzz · 09/06/2017 21:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChocChocPorridge · 09/06/2017 21:52

As long as it's not for nefarious purposes, you can use as many names as you like. Not that you'd be able to get official ID in them all, but then, a lot of the time, you don't need that.

zzzzz · 09/06/2017 21:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sunshineintheclouds · 09/06/2017 21:46

O no I knew that Grin

IWillCrushYouLikeABug · 09/06/2017 21:45

Wine back at you sunshine. It's a common misconception tbf, I've seen people on fwr be told similar by people who really should know better (banks etc). Some seem to think you HAVE to change your name or use Mrs when you get married Confused

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sunshineintheclouds · 09/06/2017 21:43

Sorry I generally thought all legal id had to be in the name you are legally known as.

Either way too much faff for me

BlushWine

IWillCrushYouLikeABug · 09/06/2017 21:41

I need the dbs quite soon and they forgot to set the ball rolling so I don't want it to look like I've sat on it. Hopefully this will be resolved easily enough but the whole point of my post was that I shouldn't have to call, should I?

My circumstances aren't special, they're very common for women.

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PurpleDaisies · 09/06/2017 21:41

Yes they may but that's on them.

That's what I was saying. Any sensible HR person would have waited until Monday because of the potential longer delays to sort out the discrepancy in your surnames.

ChocChocPorridge · 09/06/2017 21:40

I just don't see the point in having different names on different documents

At the very least, because you haven't got around to changing them all until they've all run out.

Otherwise, because you keep personal and professional separate, but still need to keep some ID in your professional name, because you forgot some bits.

Honestly, it's one of the reasons I'll never change my name - it's just so much hassle. I've changed one of my kids names instead, so one has DP's surname and one has mine. Much easier to change a 1 year-old's surname than a grown adults :D

tigerdriverII · 09/06/2017 21:40

I have six possible names! So Tiger isn't my actual first name, it's actually "Debbie". No one calls me Debbie apart from my dad who has been RIP for quite some years now.

Then Driver is not my maiden name. My maiden name was NotDriver. I didn't like it much.

I changed it to Driver when I married ExH. We were married for 12 years during which time I became successful professionally.

Then I married DH. By this time I was quite clear that (a) I didn't want to take his name and (b) that I didn't want to alter my professional name. So I kept Mr Driver's name.

I'm always known as Tiger Driver and none of the other combinations (although my passport, driving licence and Law Society membership are in the name Debbie Driver).

Never had a problem with any authority things.

I can see it could be confusing though Grin

IWillCrushYouLikeABug · 09/06/2017 21:39

Yes they may but that's on them. At least this way I have fulfilled my obligation as best I can.

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PurpleDaisies · 09/06/2017 21:38

If the person who wanted the dbs check wouldn't wait for you to clarify how to to fill in the form correctly, they might have to wait for you to supply additional information if the way you filled in the form raises and queries.

IWillCrushYouLikeABug · 09/06/2017 21:37

I'm not British and didn't want to change my name in my country of birth. Which is perfectly fine.

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sunshineintheclouds · 09/06/2017 21:36

No when I changed my name everything got changed to my new name including Facebook Grin

Must just be me Blush

IWillCrushYouLikeABug · 09/06/2017 21:35

I listed them I just had to say I'd stopped using birth name 10 years ago which is obviously untrue as my passport is only 7 year old and in that name. Fudge.

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sunshineintheclouds · 09/06/2017 21:35

I was not on about professional documents just id

Haffdonga · 09/06/2017 21:34

Of course it's legal. Perfectly legal and perfectly normal.Loads of women do it especially if they have built up a business or professional reputation in their 'maiden' name and then want to change to a married surname for family reasons.

Don't you keep your original surname on Facebook for example?

As long as you list all the names you have been known by on your DBS, you are telling the truth.

I list surname1, surname2 and Surname1-surname2 all as separate surnames I am known as.

sunshineintheclouds · 09/06/2017 21:33

Yes you can but then you have to book all your travel under your maiden name.
If you use your maiden name on your driving licence then your insurance has to be in your maiden name.
I just don't see the point in having different names on different documents.

NowtAbout · 09/06/2017 21:33

How ridiculous to think that you shouldn't do this. If you have built up a professional name for yourself why would you change it?

IWillCrushYouLikeABug · 09/06/2017 21:32

How incredibly random that you would be here on this thread cupcake Grin I've already sent it off. If it all looks legitimate will it still be ok?

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IWillCrushYouLikeABug · 09/06/2017 21:31

As you've said purple, it's very common for people to have different names. That's why I'm annoyed. I haven't taken it personally. It is a feminist issue as it affects women primarily. I couldn't ring as I'd have to wait till Monday and the person who wants it needs it sent straight away.

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PopcornBits · 09/06/2017 21:30

Please explain how it's illegal to use your birth name and married name, please? Lol. I can't believe that you would even think it's illegal to use your birth name alongside your married name?

You know many people don't like to update their passports when there's many years left on it, because it cost £80 to do so. So they keep it in their maiden names.

Cupcakegirl13 · 09/06/2017 21:30

It's fine I'm a DBS verifier just do what they suggested and it will Be fine. I've been married five years and have some stuff in my married name and some still in my maiden name as never got round to changing it and my own DBS came back fine

IWillCrushYouLikeABug · 09/06/2017 21:29

Argh cynara, thanks but if that's the case... why isn't it set up like that in the first place? Well I can't change it now so I expect I'll hear back soon...

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