'Friendly' banter

I love how Mrasupporter thinks the OP asking her husband and friend whether the term bitch is offensive is 'publicly shaming' someone.

If a man calls another man a bitch, he's still being misogynistic. He is using the word exactly the same way, just about another man.

You can't use the word bitch in any gender neutral way at all. You can use the word dick and apply it to both men and women and it means pretty much the same.

When a man calls a woman a dick he is calling out her behaviour - and unless you knew what that behaviour was, you wouldn't have a clue about the specifics of it, unless he told you.

When you call a man a bitch you are saying he is behaving 'like a woman'.

I have never heard a straight man call another man a bitch. And only gay men when they are camping it up. And I have never heard a woman call a man a bitch. It is a profoundly gendered insult.

Cue " Oh, all my male friends call each other bitches all the time"........

Much like saying the n word or cracker which are bith technically derogatory words agains two different races

Maybe before publicly shaming himbyou shouldve told him not to say that. Im sure he would

What if a women calls a man a bitch

I mentioned the situation to another male friend and he was of the opinion that he does think that it is offensive and he is now making a conscious effort not to refer to any woman as a bitch

Good. The thing is, many women do find it overly offensive. Precisely because it is very loaded. I too would feel less offended by being called a dick.

"Silly bitch" comes across as simply dripping with misogyny. Frankly I think it always did, but now we recognise it. Even calling a woman a cow isn't as bad. If someone calls a woman a cow, I automatically think they have been offended by that woman's behaviour, not the fact that she is a woman.

'Bitch' has a far wider application. It can even just mean that the woman is strong. Or assertive.

If a man called woman a bitch, I'm afraid that would instantly flag up his behaviour, not hers. He would really have follow it up with a convincing explanation of why he thinks she's a bitch for me not to think - well, that he was a dick.

Glad you're spreading the word Rusty.

Datun

Absolutely Datun, the only male insult I can think of is wanker.

Anybody saying they don't understand the difference between "dick" and "bitch" is being obtuse.

Hate bitch being used casually

There is a difference phoney and it doesn't lie with the definition of the word, or whether it is gendered. If you take both of those descriptions, then yes the word cock and bitch is the same.

The difference becomes startingly apparent when you take into account who uses the words.

Men and women will use the word cock, bellend, with impunity, to describe someone's behaviour. It doesn't carry an extra layer of 'because all men are like that'.

And although the word bitch should also not carry anything extra, in real life it does tend to.

If I read anything, and the word bitch is mentioned, I can predict the the opinion at the conclusion, almost 100% of the time.

Says who phoney? That's a totally fallacious argument.
I agree with datun.

It's not just that it's aimed at women. As Datun says it's often indicative of a particular misogynistic attitude to women. The same is not true of insults like dickhead etc.

Yes bitch is a particular put down aimed at women. But as I pointed out there are particular put downs that are aimed at men. You can't have your cake and eat it. Either bitch and dickhead (to name 1) are both wrong and offensive or neither are.

The insult bitch is one of those insults that does bear closer scrutiny. It largely depends on where, when and how often you hear it, as to whether you deem it as more loaded than words like cock or bellend.

It's definitely gendered, in the same way as cock is. Even if it is applied to a man, where it describes a gendered activity.

Unfortunately, it is absolutely the go to insult for a misogynistic attitude. Whereas 'cock' isn't usually representative of entire attitude.

I see a man, or a woman, calling someone a cock or a bellend. The inference is usually that I understand they are only referring to that person. If I see a man (particularly), calling a woman a bitch, it is generally the result of an underlying attitude to women generally. Not always, not every time, but enough times for me to see it in an entirely different light to words like cock, bellend, dick, etc.

The insult cunt, funnily enough, I see as being far more arbitrarily applied, to both sexes, despite it being a highly gender-specific word.

Nope, disagree with that. To say so is to ignore the background to these insults and the fact that "bitch" has been used by misogynistic men as a particular put down towards women, from a position of power.

@assasinatedbeauty

I disagree. Either all gendered insults are inherently wrong, including the ones I mentioned and others such as cock, bellend etc, or non are.

I don't think you can have it both ways. That's just being a hypocrite.

Thephoneywar, you're ignoring a whole heap of issues around the use of gendered insults and specifically the word "bitch". It's not the same as using the examples you gave.

It's understandable that you feel upset but I do think you are being a tad oversensitive. Have you never jokingly called a friend a dick or a knob or a dick head or any other penis related insult? I know I have.

So, as banter it wouldn't phase me... as long as it was with a friend.

I don't like the phrases when intended to be viscious.

It's up to you how you want to be referred to.

I personally wouldn't care. We all call each other sluts/bitches as jokes, even directed at the men.

Yep, misogynist. I try to stop using it myself as I believe internalised sexism is a real thing and a significant barrier to an equal society.