My DF: "I'm just not good at food shopping"

I was reading this just a few minutes ago, seemed pertinent
www.newstatesman.com/politics/health/2017/05/good-daughter

Sorry to hear about your mum.

Sometimes when we have lost someone, we can go into a bit of a tailspin and forget skills we were perfectly good at before the loss. However, this was two years ago now, and the time for tailspinning is past.

If you're really worried about him, you could maybe sign him up for online home delivery, so he can spend as long as he likes doing his shopping and become as skilled at it as he believes you to be. You could even, if you're feeling particularly generous spend a couple of hours with him so he knows what he's doing on the site. And don't put up with any shenanigans about how he's old and can't learn how to do things like that now, because I used to teach an ECDL class to people who I'm willing to bet were much older than he is.

I know it's not your job to do this, but it's short term pain for long term gain. Old dogs can indeed learn new tricks, sometimes they need both carrot and stick to do that though.

Point him towards Tesco or somewhere where you can shop online and save items to reorder, so he just needs to top it up with what he fancies that week. Anymore than that is unreasonable. Food shopping is a chore, it's not a one-off favour or a specialist skill that take years to learn. You do not want to be in a position where you spend the next twenty years planning his meals and doing his food shopping every week because he didn't fancy getting his head round how to find a ripe avocado.

I'm very sorry for you and your Dad's loss OP. The same thing happened to my Granda- he lost his wife and he suddenly had to take over the running of a house. But he got on with it. Although thinking about it maybe that was because he only had sons!

I agree he's possibly trying to get you to do it for him which is a bit off really. Could you suggest he does his shop online?

I know that this is in the feminism section and il probably get berated for this..but (in general) when our car breaks or we need certain diy things doing, it's not uncommon for us women to reach out for male help.

The difference is that repairing cars is a specialised skill that needs to be learnt professionally, or at least semi-professionally. I'd not ask just about anyone with a penis to fix my car.

If he had trouble with cooking, I'd understand that. Cooking is a skill, though an easy to acquire one, and an absolute beginner would profit from a teacher.

But food shopping? You just go there and pick a product, and the worst that can happen is that you accidentally buy an overripe avocado. Which might be a problem if you are very poor, but apparently isn't, here.

What does he mean by being "no good"? Is he inable to see whether a vegetable is ripe or overripe?
Does he buy lactose-free milk accidentally?

If he has enough money to afford such mistakes, I see no problem with it.

As you say, women don't have the option to be "not good at food shopping".

I'm sorry to hear about your mum op
I do think men typically find it difficult to manage the household tasks when their wife passes away.
I agree that is women, just get on with it, we don't make the same excuses as men (in general.)
My dp late great grandads wife passed away and he took to eating out every afternoon in restaurants, and ate sausage rolls for his evening meal.
How is your dad coping generally? In your opinion Has he grieved properly yet?

Maybe you could suggest going with him and helping him, not every time, but a couple of times until he gets a better idea of how to do things. You could even help him out with an online shop.

I know that this is in the feminism section and il probably get berated for this..but (in general) when our car breaks or we need certain diy things doing, it's not uncommon for us women to reach out for male help.
I don't see the harm in helping him if you have the time, but long term he needs to know how to do it for himself.