Men bashing

That's sad, maybe the woman had had a shitty night or a row with the man she was with, because it's not really a feminist thing to get arsey with people holding doors open or offering to help carry buggies down steps or whatever.

There's a difference between critiquing the ideas behind chivalry (women are weak, in body and mind, so we'll just take care of the poor little darlings) and getting a cob on when some random man holds a door open.

I wouldn't say that I think the majority of men are bad, Pirate, but I've been being obviously harassed frequently and no one has attempted to intervene. Maybe not bad, but not helping to solve the problem.

I am 5'1" and have stepped in to ask a woman if she needs help numerous times. The 'I'm not getting involved' types are part of the problem.

I just mean that it's rare for a man to step in to call another man out. And not just because they are physically afraid, but because they're socially afraid. Plenty of times men I thought were good and decent have stood by while a friend or colleague has said something awful about women, and just didn't want to rock the boat. I can understand that they're afraid, but it's still crap behaviour.

Basket that "man bashing" is a by product of patriarchy,the bumbling man that's doesn't do because he can't. And it's a bone thrown at women (at least that's how i see it) that says so what if he is an inconsiderate,lazy,abusive,neglectful bastard... look how awesome the woman in his life is,bless him the poor sod.

The "man bashing" OP refers to is men(as a class) as predators(abusers,rapists,abusers). Which is not bashing really it's the sad reality of many women and children.

Worldwide OP? No, sadly I don't believe the majority worldwide are decent.

And I was talking about the little bubble I used to be in, not you.

The 'all men are rapists' is often thrown about by men who don't like feminists. They wilfully misinterpret that ANY man is a potential threat, with the idea that we think ALL men are violent rapists.

As a kid I was told not to talk to strangers, and women are advised to cross the street if someone is walking behind them if it's late at night. I've heard men complain about this. About how women treat them like they're rapists by crossing the street. It's the same as me complaining about a child not speaking to me because they don't know me.

I've never been afraid, and wouldn't think of myself as weak, despite being little. But would I advise anyone to do as I do? Nope - in a bar 'no thank you, I'm just here with my friends' has often landed me in some scary situations, whereas 'sorry I have a boyfriend' is usually safer. Politely saying I'm not interested has often ended with threats of violence from groups of men.

Queenie that's ok, I've had my ass handed to me on a plate more than once on here,but I've learned from it. I'm still learning. I still don't "see" certain things. I still struggle with the "equalitarian" point of view i had when i first came on here. And i still get my ass handed to me on a plate every now and then

Yy basket or "oh everyone needs to train their man", like they're a puppy, ffs. 🙄

Ps SGM - I didn't realise you were back on mn! How have I not seen you?!

Thank you Xenophile Down to 3 cats at the moment, but have had 4.

Basket... I think that's a fair summation. Most of the people who make off the cuff comments about how useless men are at X, or how men just don't see dirt or whatever aren't feminists.

It's also mainly men and non feminists who think that men just can't help themselves but be violent or rape or watch porn or whatever other awful thing.

Feminists know that men are capable of being rational, empathetic human beings. We just expect them to be so, and if they aren't, then we call them out on that.

Feeling a bit sorry for you OP.
I remember how happy I was in my bubble, thinking that the majority of men are decent and respectful, and that maybe women needed to be a bit less bitter and try harder.

But the patriarchy is one of those inconvenient truths that, once seen, cannot be unseen - and will affect your life as a woman forever.

I never saw you as a crazy cat lady Lass, it's strangely satisfying that you are

When I hear 'man bashing' comments they rarely come from feminists.

Think of all the times you've heard 'ooh, men are useless', and how many adverts show men as incompetent. How many sitcoms have a stupid man who is a bad son, father, husband and friend, incapable of doing anything for anyone else, for remembering anyone's birthday, who can't take care of his own kids - who literally can't put a jumper on the right way round despite being an adult.

Every feminist I know believes men to be equally capable as women and expects better.

That was the video DS showed me, Lass - thanks for finding it. Yes, I agree, won't hear a thing against these guys. I particularly love the spiral.

Now I won't hear a bad word about these men.

Queenie ,yes women are strong and capable,but do society and men(as a class) really allow them to do what they want?
Just look at the official rape "advice" don't wear this,don't do that,don't drink,don't walk home alone etc etc etc. Everything is about limiting women and their choices.
The opportunity for careers that gets hindered when having a baby or childcare responsibilities come in question.
The vilifying of being a SAHM or WOHM.
The demand of looking a certain way or wearing certain things for some jobs. High heels anyone?

I could go on.

Totally off topic, but re. "I'd quite like to be a lesbian spinster, but I don't know if I could handle 27 cats. I mean, I'd need an awfully big bed and can you imagine the litter boxes?"

DS found an awesome youtube video earlier, with 3 men in their thirties sharing a house which they'd lovingly modified to accommodate their vast collection of cats - special cat ramps/tunnels connecting all the rooms, litter trays in cupboards which vented to the outside to deal with the smell, half a dozen roombas to keep on top of the hair. Hi Tech is the way to go on mad cat ownership! If only there were more men like them, using their powers for good .

Women are vulnerable in lots of ways Queenie. Most women are physically weaker than most men. Combine that with most of the violence in the world being commited by men, then that renders us vulnerable. That doesn't mean we are weak. And that's without even bringing in how childbearing renders us even more vulnerable.

If it were really true that women could achieve everything they wanted to in our society then I would actually have to conclude that women were a bit rubbish, because men are still running the show. I don't think women are rubbish, I think we are oppressed.

Yes, women are strong and capable. Why do you think that women are under represented in key positions of power and influence, and over represented in statistics to do with violence e.g. domestic violence and murder stats, despite women in general being strong and capable?

They are Pirate, but unfortunately this doesn't stop men oppressing them.