I've just been lectured at by a trans woman for painting my daughter's room pink

What pp's say is true- some kids are much more senstive to socially pushed sex role stereotypes, no matter how they are parented at home, many of them are vulnerable to this social conditioning, and there's no way of knowing if you have a baby if they will be one of the most vulnerable or not. So going for girls=pink on something like wall colour is a bit of a jump start on that. Which seems a shame when there's hundreds of colours to choose from. It becomes much harder when you are in asda in the middle of the night, blurry eyes trying to find bigger size of baby grows & it's pink or white & nothing else (& white obvs isn't the stupidest colour for baby's clothing)

They picked a fight by asking me if I'd chosen to be told the sex (I had) and then aggressively asking why since "It doesn't tell you the gender"

Happened to me too. First he asked me if I had found out the sex and then started hounding me on "why wouldn't you let the child decide for themselves". I wouldn't have brought the issue up with that person but I was directly asked.

Probably only someone who's worked in publishing, design or the art world would know that the printing process colour 'magenta', one of the four basic ingredients of process colour pigment mixes, is a bright, true pink.

Or anyone who owns a colour printer?

I dont get the issue here. Are we now supposed to give girls blue paint and boys clothes and boys pink rooms?

Or paint it a bland beige and provide gender neutral everything?

If the OP wants to pain her dds room pink why not? As her dd grows if she doesn't like it she can ask for it to be changed.

It's a funny thing, isn't it - DS1 (9) will wear pink, no problem. He has done dancing since he was 3 and it's often part of one of his costumes.
He has toys of all sorts, but mostly likes animals, dragons, and his kitchen (although he'd rather play in the big one now!).
DS2 (4), on the other hand, resolutely refuses to have ANYTHING pink because it's a girl colour, he won't sing "girls' songs", he won't play with "girls' toys" (although he, too, likes the toy kitchen - perhaps because I ensure DH takes his turn with cooking and washing up?) - but he also has done dancing since he was 3. He's a bit more stroppy about costumes, but so far hasn't had pink inflicted on him, thankfully (he didn't mind the purple with shiny spots).

Both brought up the same, both given the same opportunities and toys, and yet quite different attitudes.

My sister's girls have all been conditioned to hate green though, as my sister hates it. They're all pinks and purples - don't know how much of that is her influence and how much their own choice, as they weren't given any choice when they were very young (certainly not where green was concerned!)

Mavis We are talking Guantanamo orange not glorious golden sunrise orange!

If he really wants this, I used some called "Jelly bean" (from Wilkinson's) to paint my bathroom... it's edging towards terracotta and ok in small doses. Maybe one wall?

Thing is OP, if you had chosen pink "because it's a girl" then yes people might disagree because of gender stereotypes. Fair enough. But presumably the trans viewpoint would be "You shouldn't paint it pink because the female baby might turn out to identify as a boy and thus hate pink". Which is the opposite, really - if you had a boy who declared aged 6 he was really a girl (), they'd encourage you to paint the room pink...

Whys my post been deleted?

I'm sick of being forced to pretend that these MEN are women. If people reading can't cope with basic biology they need fucking help.

What a load of pish, tell them to fuck right off. So does that mean you cant buy your baby any clothes with pink in it or nice dresses? Paint the room any colour you want, its nothing to do with anyone else. Congrats on your lil girl🌼

It only becomes an issue if a parents tries to force a child to be something they aren't after the child has asserted their wishes

Do you think that wishes of a child are asserted without any influence from other people?

Years ago i decked my eldests room out on Winnie the Pooh, funnily enough he hated pooh bear and all traces where gone by age 2 when he began asserting himself

DS doesn't like pink because he thinks it's 'girl's colour' and society has taught him that pink = girl. Despite me telling him that there are no such thing as boy and girl colours, society keeps reinforcing the message to him that pink is for girls and blue is for boys.

You are questioning me and hinting at things of which you know nothing about.

I shouldn't question you, but also shouldn't talk about things I know nothing about (because you haven't told us) ... yeah, right.

With what's going on in the English-speaking world, you can hardly blame people for assuming that your daughters clothes and toys will be pink, too. Even if you don't want them to be, there's enough people who might give you pink things.

We are talking Guantanamo orange not glorious golden sunrise orange!

Yeah, that's not a good wall colour. I lived in a room with bright red walls for a while. Was very disconcerting.

My house now contains 3 adults, all of whom have a bedroom painted as they wanted. Mine is apricot. DD's is soft jade. DH's is a sort of slightly beige-ish pink. It's the colour he decided went best with his curtains and bedspread, and signifies precisely nothing.

Congratulations OP.

We all know that toys, colours, activities, etc, are currently very gendered. When I was growing up, although the adult roles may have been more gendered, the roles of children not so much. Maybe because the activities were generally generated by the kids themselves, not organised as after-school club etc. And we didn't have as much shop bought stuff.

So I think it's very hard to remain neutral. Unless you take a deliberate decision to stay away from gendered toys/colours. Which will be very limiting. So if you give your daughter an ironing board you're buying into gender stereotypes, if you refuse to give her an ironing board you're also buying into gender stereotypes!

And when they go to school, you have everyone else's social conditioning to counter.

It's a bloody minefield. All you can do is stay aware and do your best.

Enjoy your baby OP. You sound like you've got it taped.

I was in a toy shop the other day, for a whole 5 mins while my kids spent their bday vouchers, & 2 dufferent lots of parents/grown ups said no that's a girls toy to their boys

Funnyonion, don't take any notice of the loonies.
You're having a girl! Congratulations!!

I'm sure she will love her beautiful pink, girly bedroom.

We are talking Guantanamo orange not glorious golden sunrise orange!

the girls play girls toys/pink is for girls kicks in straight away sadly

Pink and blue are everywhere. It's like an association. I've seen many boys refuse to play with something because "it's pink and pink's a girls colour" (their words) and they won't have anything to do with it.

Where do they get that idea from?

I had an orange wall up my staircase original - it made me happy every morning when I walked down, so don't completely rule it out :)

DSs room is blue. It's been blue since we moved in which was 3 years before he was born. I wouldn't have changed it if he'd been a girl and he's always wanted to keep the same colour apart from now, when his choice would be orange over my dead body apparently.

It is a shame to go for pink early tho. There so much else pink as it is for girls. It can be hard to fight the sex role stereotypes that are pushed, & something like wall colour is much easier to keep non pink as opposed say clothes when the nicest ones are often pink/purple.

We are v laid back about gender roles in our house, still once they hit (naice mc) school the girls play girls toys/pink is for girls kicks in straight away sadly

Ha. I had this with a transactivist of my acquaintance.
They picked a fight by asking me if I'd chosen to be told the sex (I had) and then aggressively asking why since "It doesn't tell you the gender"
Fucks sake

We have the stroppy child colour. It's a mix of tooth paste, rainbow handprints and soup thrown at the walls.

Op you are being totally unreasonable to paint it pink. Because you will have no hope of seeing it through sleep deprived eyes.