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Original poster

How can I reconnect with feminism?

192 replies

Chemicalromance · 03/04/2017 12:48

Sorry for any mistakes-this is my first thread and I'm using the appSmile

Im in my very early twenties, and I really struggle to connect with the feminist movement. I'm absolutely pro-equality and ensuring the global rights for women, but my experiences have left me feeling uncomfortable about calling myself a "feminist".

When I was at school, women's issues and feminism were never discussed, so my first awareness of the movement came from websites like Tumblr and EverydaySexism. These websites were quite radical, and I struggled to identify with issues such as 'man spreading', 'mansplaining' and the general man-hating subculture that seemed to be present. It felt to me like a group of quite privileged, fortunate western women looking for reasons to complain despite there being so many serious women's issues to deal with around the world, and there was a lot of talk about the western world supporting "rape culture", which I don't believe to be true, so I grew up feeing like feminism wasn't for me.

When I got to university, I attempted to get involved in the feminism society, but found that most of the events/talks centred around 'trans liberation', 'micro aggressions' and trigger warnings/banning topics or events that might be triggering. When an infamous male misogynist was scheduled to have a talk at the university, I was excited at the opportunity it would open for a real debate on gender and equality, but the feminist society held a rally and protest that ended up causing the visit to be cancelled, which I felt was a waste of a good opportunity and probably not a great move in terms of free speech. I eventually left the society when I was openly mocked at an event about future ambitions for saying that I would like to be a young mother. Over time, I completely stopped calling myself a feminist or having anything to do with the feminist movement.

Recently, I've discovered Hannah Witton's youtube channel, and although I don't agree with everything she says, I have found her videos talking about sex, relationships, women's bodies and what it means to be a woman to be really interesting and encouraging. I've been inspired to read more books and interact with more information about feminism and women's issues, and I really want to start reconnecting with my own female identity and feeling proud to be a woman again.

The only problem is that I really don't know where to start. Can anyone recommend some influential women, works or materials that I can look into, or tell me some of the things that make them proud of being a woman and a feminist?

OP posts:
Atenco · 03/04/2017 15:14

I have to take issue with your projections onto other cultures, OP. I don't think it is your place, living in the UK, to decide what is sexist or not in another country when you still seem to have difficulty identifying what is sexist in the UK.

For example, I live in Mexico and Mexican women also hate the way some men sit on buses and trains taking up more than one seat. This is a small issue, but an issue.

And I read mumsnet and see that so many British women seem to assume that they have to do all the housework, for example, yet here in Mexico, none of my friends of that mindset.

So please do stop stereotyping other cultures. Being British does not make you superior.

ProcrastinatingSquid2 · 03/04/2017 15:11

I'd like to second reading Kat Banyard's The Equality Illusion. It's a great book with everything backed up with lots of studies and statistics. I think she does a very good job of showing how the things you term micro-aggressions all contribute to a bigger picture.

Original poster
Chemicalromance · 03/04/2017 15:06

@scallopsrgreat I've just had a quick look at that thread - I didn't realise there were so many different approaches to sex work that people supported, thank you for suggesting it. I'll also take a look at the book you've suggested!

OP posts:
Original poster
Chemicalromance · 03/04/2017 15:03

@BertrandRussell it's an anthropological piece examining ethnographic anecdotes, so it was mostly compiled in the library, and looks more at communities in Asia and certain areas within the African continent, so very little of it discussed the work of feminist movements in the west and their involvement, or the experiences of women in the west.
When it comes to feminism relevant to women in my own part of the world, I have had very few personal experiences and anthropological works aren't necessarily the best ways to learn about individual experiences from a personal, emotive perspective

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 03/04/2017 14:57

I don't know how to put this, but you have only just submitted a dissertation on rape culture and gendered violence, but you say you've had "years of not being exposed to material about women's issues"

How on earth did that happen?

AssassinatedBeauty · 03/04/2017 14:54

Threads are only "locked" if they get full which means reaching 1000 posts, so you're a way off that yet. You could always start another thread in Feminism Chat for it if you wanted to.

scallopsrgreat · 03/04/2017 14:54

OK let's start again. What aspects of feminism or which issues affecting women are you interested in? Then may be we can help. As demonstrated feminism has many facets and is campaigning on many fronts.

On a general front, as well as Assassinated Beauty's recommendation, "The Equality Illusion" by Kat Banyard is good, if a bit depressing, to illustrate the problems that still exist.

P.S. that cryptic reference I made will come clear if you read the Nordic Model thread currently going (also in Feminism Chat). Googling Nordic Model threads on Mumsnet in general could also help you connect with another larger issue feminists are interested in.

Original poster
Chemicalromance · 03/04/2017 14:51

@DJBaggySmalls it's currently being graded, so I don't think I'm allowed to put it up yet, but I would like to share it when I can - these threads aren't locked after a period of time are they? If not I could post a link when I'm able to

OP posts:
DJBaggySmalls · 03/04/2017 14:47

Chemicalromance Maybe you could publish your dissertation as a blog and link to it. That would be a useful introduction.

Original poster
Chemicalromance · 03/04/2017 14:39

@BertrandRussell does my latest explanation above your comment maybe help? I really don't mean to sound as ignorant as you perhaps feel I am, I'm just not very good at explaining this Sad

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 03/04/2017 14:39

"No need to apologise OP. I know nothing about feminism other than the hatred and discrimination that gets directed my way because of the genitalia I was born with."

Care to say some more about this?

BertrandRussell · 03/04/2017 14:37

I'm not angry. I just found it a little frustrating that you kept saying things like "it looks as if it has morphed into" and "I might get a better understanding of the differences" and "as far s I am concerned they are
one movement" despite several people explaining that you are mistaken!

Original poster
Chemicalromance · 03/04/2017 14:36

@AssassinatedBeauty my experiences of the everyday sexism/feminism was on tumblr around 2010/11, when there was a blog/page of that name that featured experiences that people tagged as "everyday sexism". Having now looked at the proper websites now, the page that I remember is closest to everyday feminism, which makes me think that perhaps it is what the page I remember has either become or inspired in some way - they seem really similar.
I really do apologise for how much confusion I've caused, I didn't realise when I made my post that everyday sexism and everyday feminism were actually pages of groups independent of the community on tumblr I had experienced, and my understanding has now been corrected

OP posts:
GenderEqualityAdvocate · 03/04/2017 14:36

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AssassinatedBeauty · 03/04/2017 14:31

I don't think Bertrand is angry, probably just confused, as I am. The two websites are completely unconnected and always have been, they are nothing at all to do with each other. Neither represents a "movement", but both campaign on different topics.

scallopsrgreat · 03/04/2017 14:27

And can I just point out that our rights (as in women in the UK) to access abortions (and other rights) are constantly under threat. Even more so in the US.

Original poster
Chemicalromance · 03/04/2017 14:26

@scallopsrgreat I'm not really sure what friend I've made, sorry for not understanding your reference!
In terms of what you have said, though, I completely acknowledge that many feminists are involved in these organisations and causes, the problem is that I haven't come across many in my life, so I don't have anyone that can introduce me to ways I can get involved or learn more about them. That's why I came to mumsnet - the feminism I have experienced previously has been centred on feelings and topics of micro aggressions, trans rights and no-platforming.
I really do want to learn more, please don't think that I'm deliberately ignorant about these things!

OP posts:
Original poster
Chemicalromance · 03/04/2017 14:21

@BertrandRussell I apologise if my genuine confusion based on a past experience is causing you anger, but some people just don't have the same understanding and knowledge of these topics that you do. I have acknowledged my mistake, and I'm not sure what else you want me to say now Sad

OP posts:
scallopsrgreat · 03/04/2017 14:20

I think you made yourself perfectly clear in the OP, Chemical.

It is possible to focus on more than one thing at once within a movement. Everyday Sexism was set up to focus on the small street harassment/annoyances that happen everyday to women. And what a massive picture it built up - that there is a problem with our culture even in the western world that no-one takes seriously because each individual incident is seemingly trivial.

However, do you really think feminists aren't doing anything about any of those other issues (interesting that male violence wasn't amongst them)? There is a big FGM movement in the UK; plenty of opportunities to get involved in overseas feminism (e.g. 50 million missing is an organisation looking at why there are so many missing girls in India); there are active support groups for women in this country i.e. Northern Ireland who are unable to access abortions and pressure groups to change the laws. There are women on this site who've been involved in initiatives and ongoing projects to help with contraception and safer births in Africa through the Bill & Melinda Gates foundation (for example).

But hey, you've made friends with a man who likes to buy women to orgasm into, so not all is lost today.

GenderEqualityAdvocate · 03/04/2017 14:19

Really Amy?Men are the perpetrators?

Despite how enlightened some feminists are the "presumption of perversion" will always get wheeled out at one point.

BertrandRussell · 03/04/2017 14:18

"From a quick search, it looks like this has perhaps morphed into the everyday feminism movement, as everyday sexism"

Honestly, it hasn't. Completely different things. Why are you finding this hard to accept?

IAmAmy · 03/04/2017 14:18

Chemicalromance it is a good, if at times infuriating read. I personally pay no attention to "Everyday Feminism" for a variety of reasons.

Original poster
Chemicalromance · 03/04/2017 14:17

@AssassinatedBeauty @IAmAmy @BertrandRussell I will make sure to read the everyday sexism book, hopefully I'll have a better understanding of the differences between the movements when I finish it!

OP posts:
IAmAmy · 03/04/2017 14:15

The scale of abuse perpetrated by men against women and children (girls and boys) means I can't agree. There is a clear issue.

GenderEqualityAdvocate · 03/04/2017 14:15

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