Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

LBC call from a "sex worker" who loves her work apparently. So depressing.

40 replies

hilbobaggins · 31/03/2017 22:15

I'm a long time lurker on this board and I've learned a lot about a load of stuff here, not least about prostitution and the Nordic model. A lot of my opinions have changed completely as a result of what I've read here. It's been an incredibly valuable resource for me.

I was listening to LBC and heard this www.lbc.co.uk/radio/presenters/iain-dale/sex-worker-decriminalisation-of-prostitution. listening to it made me feel awful, really sad and angry on behalf of the millions of women across the world forced into prostitution and the horror of that life. It was the closest I've come to calling the show myself, but I chickened out because I couldn't think how to counter the argument of this woman who apparently is ecstatically happy fucking men for money (and apparently uses prostitutes herself, unless I got that wrong).

It made me wish I could think faster on my feet. What would you have said? Still thinking about this, still feeling disgusted about it.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
GuardianLions · 01/04/2017 09:48

Ha ha 7days
It looked like a parody - but it does sometimes when people are being serious too. All too many times Wink

Poppyred85 · 01/04/2017 09:34

Coercive consent is no consent at all. There are myriad examples of how women are coerced beyond the immediate threat of violence but at the root of it is that there is no truly free choice.

7Days · 01/04/2017 08:32

I was being sarky GuardianLions I was trying to invert the usual pro- arguments. But it was late and I'd had wine so it came out garbled

GuardianLions · 01/04/2017 01:38

Confused 7days

7Days · 01/04/2017 01:20

It's sad that willing prostitutes would be put out of work if the laws were changed. Some might even be forced to resort to burger flipping, and the like. Still, burger flipping is work like any other, I'm told, and many women choose it willingly. Who among us can claim to having our dream job?

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 01/04/2017 01:01

There is also the " foreigners don't count" brigade. I've met a couple of them in the oil industry. I'm sure they would not have considered going to prostitutes in the U.K but it was ok on far eastern postings.

TitaniasCloset · 01/04/2017 00:38

They tell themselves that the women who do it just really enjoy sex that's how. And that's the half way decent men. The others either don't care or enjoy it that way.

GuardianLions · 01/04/2017 00:21

Too right lass
How can they live with themselves?

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 01/04/2017 00:12

The "we will never stop it" argument is false. Why bother ever enacting any law against bad things?

Society changes. Drink driving and forcing non- smokers to passive smoke were perfectly acceptable when I was born.

Most people now think drunk drivers are despicable. Smoking has dropped and I would like to think most people would consider inflicting passive smoking on children is despicable.

Punters are despicable. You cannot say that too often.

GuardianLions · 01/04/2017 00:09

And I believe it is possible to pretty much eradicate most prostitution- though I'm sure there will always be pockets of it here and there.

TitaniasCloset · 01/04/2017 00:07

I just don't believe them. I think they are emotiinally cut off. I have known five escorts in my life and know about another lady through one. Five out if the six i know have been through rape or abuse, and the one I don't know well enough seems to be happy, but I get that violent vibe from her husband and I never knew her well enough to ask about her life.

GuardianLions · 01/04/2017 00:02

I think the point is that we always aim up and away from barbarianism, chaos, and cheapening the value of human life isn't it? We criminalise certain things even though we know that we will never eradicate them.

thegoodnameshadgone · 31/03/2017 23:55

There are some things that are morally wrong, this, drugs and so on but we as a whole world will never be able to stop any of it will we? It goes on in every part of the world and it is all wrong. But can it ever be stopped? I doubt it.

GuardianLions · 31/03/2017 23:55

I think the ones who aren't tricked or coerced probably have their own complex reasons for doing it. The lure/validation of big money in exchange for sexual subordination is probably a bit of a shallow analysis.

thegoodnameshadgone · 31/03/2017 23:52

To clarify I had a friend who lived abroad. She did this willingly. Loved the money. Has had no ill effects as far as I can tell. (She's never regretted it, it was her choice, she worked alone as an escort). This was some time ago. I knew about it. Did everything I could to talk her out of it, she was adamant it was fine for her. I'd of slept easier if I'd of known she was in a safer environment than she was. Again I have no idea how this would work.

QuentinSummers · 31/03/2017 23:50

As I've said up thread I'm not so interested in whether an individual prostitute is ok with her choices. More what kind of society allows the suspension of consent for money. Oh and the suspension of H&S rules for money too I guess

thegoodnameshadgone · 31/03/2017 23:44

But ultimately some women will chase the money as to them the lure of big money is more attractive than the standard 9 to 5

thegoodnameshadgone · 31/03/2017 23:43

Quentin summers
Some of them would

GuardianLions · 31/03/2017 23:39

By the way - unwanted sex is intrinsically harmful and damaging. You can't make that harm safer.

Original poster
hilbobaggins · 31/03/2017 23:39

Thank you for your responses.

Personally I find it difficult to imagine how anyone could love being a prostitute. How could letting someone inside your body in exchange for money possibly make you feel good about yourself?? If you love meeting new people, which is what she said she enjoyed about it, there are a million different jobs she could do! Interesting point GuardianLions about the fact that men can't get away with being seen to support the sex industry but women can. I felt that the presenter was absolutely lapping up this call.

I also don't think there is much difference between rape and "purchased consent" but I'm having a hard time clarifying my thoughts about this. I think of the countless women around the world who are doing this out of desperation - who basically have no real choice in the matter. Is that so different to rape?

As for legalising prostitution, it's a terrible idea. I recently read about the situation in Germany where prostitution is legal. It makes things much, much worse for all women.

OP posts:
QuentinSummers · 31/03/2017 23:38

thegood if prostitutes had to follow the same safe working conditions asuch everyone else they'd need to wear gloves and goggles to deal with bodily fluids, possibly an apron too. Do you think punters would be OK with that?

GuardianLions · 31/03/2017 23:37

Slavery has been around for about as long as prostitution - maybe we should make that safer eh?

GuardianLions · 31/03/2017 23:36

And sarcasm if you subscribe to that contractual idea of consent, you could say that was the reason it took so long for rape in marriage to be recognised as a crime. Taking marriage vows was like giving all your future sexual consent in one go so the rapes could be viewed as consensual forced sex.

thegoodnameshadgone · 31/03/2017 23:36

But this is the oldest profession as it's called. If someone decides to do this, they should have a safe place. No idea how you would do this. There are people in roles much cleverer than me to talk about this. I'm just making a point. If you decide to be a prison officer or nurse within a high risk catagory prison you are protected to a degree, should this not be the same for everyone in a high risk role??

SarcasmMode · 31/03/2017 23:28

Definitely agree -Quentin.
It should be the vile men who thinks sex is their right that deserve vitriol.

Swipe left for the next trending thread