DD (13) has just made her first foray into fighting the good fight at school, but is now feeling wounded and isolated and upset.
She asked her teacher to address the fact that she was allocated (by the boys) a supporting/passive role in a team where she is the only girl and does not want this role. They have, boringly & inevitably, given themselves the front and centre positions.
She was angry at how unfair this was and the fact that she was given no choice and that they will not negotiate.
At the weekend she wrote a fabulous letter to her teacher saying that as a minority female in her class and team (and school for that matter) she should not a) have a role that she does not want foisted on her by the boys and b) that she should be able to chose a more prominent/active role - she described it in terms of positive discrimination, visibility and opportunity for her as a female pupil.
The teacher (male) has been excellent and supported her position and directed the team to re-allocate the roles. They (the boys) have entirely ignored the direction, slagged her off to the entire class, gone off and worked on the project without her and she is now facing commentary and hassle from her whole class (girls included). She says "no one gets it Mum" and is feeling really bruised, even the sympathetic girls don't really understand where she is coming from with this. She has been told that she is being sexist, that it isn't sexist, what if it were a boy (erm - not even remotely the issue - because, dur, she isn't), she got told by a girl she has "read too much feminism" !!! Some of the comments are now veering into bullying.
My heart is breaking for her and I feel so guilty that I have sensitised her and essentially made her vulnerable to attack; she challenges something (and is right to) and then she has to go out and fight this crap on her own. The isolation of expressing a feminist opinion, socially, is horrible - how do I show her that there is solidarity out there and women who understand and believe her? I am so proud of her.
She is tired and torn between just giving it up, and really not wanting to roll over. She knows about @everydaysexism - but what else can I do? I feel awful saying, this is how the world is and you have to keep on fighting.