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Original poster

Any advice please?

86 replies

Ohthegrandolddukeofyorkjellies · 21/03/2017 19:52

Hi.

Without wishing to out myself - goodness knows that I'm actually feeling scared for the first time in my career as it is - I'm a health education teacher and responsible for sex and relationship education which I'm happy to do. I think there's v
alue in what I do, supporting learners to navigate this stuff during lessons and on an individual or small group basis as and when. I've been teaching nearly 20 years so have pretty much heard it all...

This year I am facing, for the first time, horrendous hostility from our boys in relation to any discussion about equality, rape or sexual assault. I've carried out quite a bit of research, pupil voice etc and, having followed the dots, I've ended up finding some of the YouTubers and sites that they seem to watching. I feel so depressed - there's no way that I can compete with the onslaught of misinformation. In fact, the more I try to address it, the greater the backlash. These are boys that I have known since the age of 11 and of whom I am so fond.

Can anyone give me any advice or suggestions - or even just encouragement to carry on with my work as it's starting to feel quite futile.

Thank you.

OP posts:
HelenDenver · 23/03/2017 07:41

Fake news and social media bubbles?

HelenDenver · 23/03/2017 07:39

Mmm. I might take the word of the DPP over random you tubers!

Is this a cross subject point - the reliability of sources?

Original poster
Ohthegrandolddukeofyorkjellies · 23/03/2017 07:24

It was that data that kicked it all off. A group of boys found found films that proved the data wrong, apparently. I haven't been able to find that exact one but I'm contemplating asking them where I'd find it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Ohthegrandolddukeofyorkjellies · 23/03/2017 07:24

It was that data that kicked it all off. A group of boys found found films that proved the data wrong, apparently. I haven't been able to find that exact one but I'm contemplating asking them where I'd find it.

OP posts:
HelenDenver · 23/03/2017 06:55

Keir starmer's review of the rarity of false accusations?

Original poster
Ohthegrandolddukeofyorkjellies · 23/03/2017 06:48

Thank you everyone for your suggestions. I watched a number of the videos ready to critique abc found that very flimsy. The Ted talk is quite brilliant, thank you and I think I'm going to make it my starter for my year 9 and 10 classes until Easter. Thank you so much everyone. I was in a dark place...

OP posts:
JigglyTuff · 22/03/2017 09:55

Tony Porter? www.ted.com/talks/tony_porter_a_call_to_men

YetAnotherSpartacus · 22/03/2017 09:43

Would meeting with the parents help? A group thing aimed at parental education about what their little darlings have been watching?

I feel for the girls in all this...

Destinysdaughter · 22/03/2017 09:13

This may be helpful to you, it's been set up at Oxford uni to promote positive masculinity. It's aimed at students but they run workshops and may have some good ideas as to how to help tackle this.

www.goodladworkshop.com/about/

Original poster
Ohthegrandolddukeofyorkjellies · 22/03/2017 09:08

And Dear God, the number of women on there speaking out against feminism...

OP posts:
Original poster
Ohthegrandolddukeofyorkjellies · 22/03/2017 09:02

Thanks so much everyone. Probably seems rather silly, but having posters validate my concerns is really helpful. I've contacted the pastoral lead (I'm on INSET today) and said that I need support following an incident yesterday and they said they are going to attend one of my lessons.

Yes - all of my lessons are co-ed. Girls generally contribute, but incendiary comments are all from boys. I think the girls are generally quite resilient - I deal with a significant of disclosures and them know when things aren't right in their relationships and so forth.

I've had a look on YouTube just now - previously only looked up the films that the children have told me to watch - and I am shocked at how many include 'feminist teachers being roasted' etc. At the start of lesson all children are instructed to put their turned-off phones in their bag but still...

Again, thanks.

OP posts:
TheDowagerCuntess · 22/03/2017 08:55

Having May, Merkle, sturgeon in power actually doesn't help.

May, Merckle, etc, are the exceptions that prove the rule.

We have a couple of female world leaders for virtually the first time in history (not quite, but you know what I mean), and we're supposed to believe that equates to the rest of human history being ruled by men, as well as 95% of the world right now being ruled by men.

It doesn't. It only highlights how great the discrepancy is.

ErrolTheDragon · 22/03/2017 08:46

Is this happening in a coed class? Curious to know what the girls say ... if they get the chance to say anything.

Bambambini · 22/03/2017 08:43

Having May, Merkle, sturgeon in power actually doesn't help.

Bambambini · 22/03/2017 08:40

I had this with my 14 yr old son recently. I was actually a bit upset. he was giving me the run down on Milo and 1st, 2nd, 3rd wave feminism. How we have equality now - equal laws, opportunities etc. All over the queues for bloody women's toilets. I tried to explain it was much more than that and does that mean thst racism doesnt exist then as we have equsl laws. If course that was different. I was surprised he knew about all this - my husband was clueless.

Poppyred85 · 22/03/2017 08:34

Could you role play a case study? Have the boys in the 'victim' role to see how it actually feels when everything they say is questioned? I read somewhere about a teacher dividing up the class by eye colour and giving special treatment to one group to highlight discrimination. Sorry not a teacher so I don't know how practical it would be.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 22/03/2017 08:25

Make them read victim statements?

QuentinSummers · 22/03/2017 07:51

Had another thought- you could also gender neutralise and anonymity some of the twaddle their you tubers come out with (and maybe some feminists too Wink) and see what they think of it then. Maybe if you did a reveal that the really odious shit was Milo they might stop watching in the same light?

winteriseverywhere · 22/03/2017 01:38

Ask them to write an essay on the difference between equal rights and equality (you can suggest resources such as those showing the unequal burdens women have when it comes to caring, unequal access to emotional support from partners, the fact that poverty disproportionately affects women).

winteriseverywhere · 22/03/2017 01:36

I've encountered this attitude while dating grown men who are intelligent and reasonable in other matters. I was thinking of making a resources thread for all research that shows pretty unequivocally that we still do not have equality. And equal rights do not equal equality.

What about taking a major study that shows inequality and asking them to come up with reasons as to why this could exist if it weren't for sexism? I was reading about a study somewhere online recently which showed that female doctors (in the US I think) actually outperform male doctors consistently, even when things like selection biases are controlled for. And yet they consistently earn substantially less. The study was huge and incredibly comprehensive and it's hard to explain the pay gap when there is clear evidence that women seem to actually make better doctors.

I haven't thought this out properly though, I'll do a bit more pondering...

YetAnotherSpartacus · 22/03/2017 00:26

Any chance of a 'cool' male speaker who says opposite? As in male-to-male education that challenges ideas about violence towards women? This might be best done in a male only environment the girls can do something fun or empowerment or something.

I also like Quentin's idea.

The interent really isn't on our side in the war against women :(.

Nellooo · 22/03/2017 00:06

Can you hit the little twerps hard with a doc about FGM, maybe?

This?

www.channel4.com/programmes/the-cruel-cut

There are some young lads in it that come to some harsh realisations. Yours might start to relate?

QueenLaBeefah · 21/03/2017 23:48

I know what I'm about to say isn't very feminist (and goes against what I believe) but would they take the message on board if it was a male teacher?

(I hate myself for writing that).

Bue · 21/03/2017 23:39

That's a great idea from Quentin. This must be so disheartening, OP.

Xenophile · 21/03/2017 23:19

Quentin's idea is a really good one. You can try similar with all sorts of things, descriptions of people who have done amazing things without mentioning their names and sex, see if they can guess which is which to help them explore their cognitive biases.

It's also great that you're talking about male mental health and the ideas around toxic masculinity that harm men and boys. Masculinity can be great, but isn't so much when those ideas are taken to extremes.

I really hope you can get through to these children, from the sounds of it, if anyone can, it will be a teacher who is as passionate about it as you.