Any advice please?

I also really like this video for a short, sharp, no-nonsense explanation about "equality"

Nelloo, I just came on this thread to post that link

Interesting thread, OP, thanks.

In terms of their believing of rape myths, this may not be appropriate or get through but these words from a woman who's rapist was convicted in Manchester last week are, I feel, moving:

“I don’t have the words to describe how I feel about Neil. The overriding feeling is anger. He doesn’t deserve to ever be let out. There is no way that someone like that should ever be allowed to walk the streets again.

“There are a lot of cases where rapists aren’t caught, where people haven’t come forward because they might be afraid of the police not believing them.

“I want to say if anyone has had a similar thing happen to them, come forward. If I hadn’t come forward this person would still be out there, doing what he did to me to other people.

“My life has changed now. It’s affected me, my family, my health. I’m coming to terms with it, with wondering why me? I’m not going to be able to answer that.

“I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks. I worry a lot now, I’ve very nervous about situations. I’m now very shy around people I don’t know. I was shy when I was younger but I managed to get over that and this has brought it all back home.

“A couple of weeks ago I felt like I couldn’t cope any more. Everyone in my life has been affected, even though it happened to me.

“The emotional effects on my mum where she started to suffer badly with anxiety and depression. She doesn’t really sleep or eat.

“My relationship with my dad is now also very strained. We rarely speak now and he has been very distant from me. I think he is struggling to come to terms with what happened.

“When I’m walking about on my own outside I feel as though I’m now on high alert, constantly looking over my shoulder and about, in a way, suspecting everyone I come across on the street.

“Before Neil did what he did I was in my second year of university. But after this, I couldn’t even get myself out of bed to find the energy or the mental strength to go into uni. As a direct result of Neil, I left university and I am no longer in full time education while I try to focus on putting my life back together.

“I now share a flat with girls who have been through similar things in their lives. I’m worried what is going to come next for me, emotionally. But now I have closure and I want to get on with my life.”

I think it articulates so sadly well the impact of this horrific crime, and touches on how many women don't report as they don't think they'll be believed (contrary to what inaccurate, misogynist rape myths make some believe).

Sorry, I messed up the copy and paste on my phone, I'll try again and ask that post be removed...

I recently stumbled across 'meninist' groups of facebook - I had heard of it before but didn't take it seriously. The posts and the comments are soul destroyingly inaccurate and I think that's where some young people are getting their fake stats and twisted facts from. It's hard to even counter views that are so illogical. Must be so difficult for educators these days, when I was a kid we may have been ignorant but we didn't have the internet to give us misinformation.

No "I" in sex. Nice.

This just popped up in my FB feed -

thewireless.co.nz/articles/the-pencilsword-no-i-in-sex

Thanks jellies. I think it's OK just feel a bit sad that they've seen it. I may PM tomorrow when I've thought about it more

Gosh I really don't like that Australian government video. I can see how it would put boys' backs up to see that.

I think a lot more is to be gained by looking at the bystander and appealing to them to stand up against violence.

Yes wobbly! And write a romantic story in mixed groups then discuss it. I thought she was brilliant
Tonight I have discovered my 10yo and 12 yo have both watched porn on YouTube so I'm a bit . Not sure WTF to do.....

Anything helpful on this site, which you may already know?

www.bishuk.com/sex/is-it-consensual-if-we-were-both-drunk/

Quentin is that the one where she makes the boys shave they're pubes daily- if so v good! Also re logic & stats- point out this cd be their mother, grandmother, sister, future daughter

Have you seen the lanc police anti rape adds that came out a few yrs ago? Big burly men saying I listen when a woman says no, that kind of thing. Maybe something along those lines would help. So not focusing on girls & letting way for victim blaming but forcing them to live up to a better idea of 'men'

This is really interesting and depressing. My dd (13) seems to regularly have 'discussions' about feminism with the boys in her form. She gets so frustrated that they appear to think the world is biased towards women and the boys are the ones struggling to be heard! This thread suggests that it's more mainstream than I thought... we're going backwards in so many ways

My dcs school run something called the MVP programme (mentors in violence prevention). It's aimed at tackling violence against women by focusing on the behaviour of the bystander, not the perpetrator. That might make the boys you talk to feel they weren't being "told off" so much as challenged to take a stand for good. Began originally with Jackson Katz in the US, he has a good ted talk about men taking responsibility for violence against women and not making it a woman's issue.

Actually, I thoroughly recommend "Invisible Women: The Schooling Scandal" by Dale Spender as a useful resource for teachers

Made Language is also a very good feminist investigation into how language is used to silence women.

I was once in a seminar, led by Dale Spender, an Australian feminist academic. She started the session by introducing the statistics about how teachers interact with students in classrooms She then announced that she would reverse the normal attention ratio i.e. give the men the same proportion of attention as the women usually get (roughly 17%)

It started off fine then descended fairly quickly. The men go massively annoyed as they were routinely passed over in favour of women's voices. She would answer men's questions if they were asked by a woman. The men got more and more frustrated and started shouting to be heard.

It was a short sharp shock lesson in the reality of life fore women, made even more stark by the fact that, despite it being clearly stated at the start that this is how it would be, some men simply didn't take any notice and assumed their privileged position was inviolate.

You could try a cut down version of this i.e. spending a few sessions ostentatiously taking speaking statistics (build in a maths lesson here about averages and ratios here) then randomly do the swap one day and discuss their reaction.

It was a short sharp lesson in how life is for women in mixed groups.

This article isn't all relevant, but draws an interesting parallel between claims of voter fraud and claims that false accusations are rife.

harpers.org/archive/2014/10/cassandra-among-the-creeps/1/