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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

I'm not the barista's "my love"

111 replies

therealsquireofwideacre · 20/03/2017 14:04

Does that make me humourless? He was highly indignant to be asked to stop calling me "my love" in every other breath, and to be fair the male customers are all his "mate" apparently.

OP posts:
gillybeanz · 20/03/2017 14:24

I don't think it's a humour thing, not meant to be funny.
We all call everyone love round here, even the blokes call each other love.
Go to staffordshire/ stoke and you'll be called duck.
There are lots of issues to be worked up about, including the term barista Grin You mean cafe worker.

Rioja123 · 20/03/2017 14:24

I really couldn't get worked up about this.

ArchNotImpudent · 20/03/2017 14:23

It does seem to be a regional thing - where I live, women will address other women and men, as 'my love' fairly routinely.

TheElephantofSurprise · 20/03/2017 14:23

I've been 'love'd by many young people recently. It's so rude. But to reply as I would wish ("Fuck off, cunt!") would be ruder.

Thinkingblonde · 20/03/2017 14:22

I was called: sweetheart, darlin', honey, love and my love by the delivery driver in the length of time it took for me to sign for a parcel the other day.
I was tempted to sign really slooooowly just to see how many other names he had in his repertoire.

therealsquireofwideacre · 20/03/2017 14:20

"Mate" seems to imply an equal relationship whereas "my love" feels patronising and today it just got to me, particularly as it was accompanied by an attitude of "humourless cow" (unspoken, but definitely there).

OP posts:
Childrenofthestones · 20/03/2017 14:17

What would you want to be called?

You got off light. Go to St Helens as a man and you are called Cock.
Go to Glasgow as a woman and you are called Hen.

milkmoustache · 20/03/2017 14:16

I prefer it to being called 'my lovely', which makes me feel patronised. DH did it once and I bit his head off. It's ok for primary school teachers to call small children, but not in a coffee shop!!

Whathaveilost · 20/03/2017 14:12

To be honest I really haven't got a problem with it although I know a load of MN do every time this subject comes up.
It's usually a regional saying and it's a perfectly normal term from where I was brought up.

There are plenty of things to get worked up about but for me, this isn't one of them.

MOTU · 20/03/2017 14:11

Depends a lot on where you were. In Bristol "my love" is a very normal way of addressing someone in a friendly manner, admittedly more usually towards females but not exclusively-so unless you are specifically objected to being gendered I think it's ok.

AssassinatedBeauty · 20/03/2017 14:06

Well, I don't think so. He wasn't being humorous, he was being over familiar with just the female customers.