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Original poster

Finsbury Park murder (warning: distressing child death). THIS IS MALE VIOLENCE. Why is it not being named?

82 replies

BertieBotts · 19/03/2017 22:57

I'm so upset after reading the reports about this tonight. I won't link because it really is that awful, (they were just little babies :() but suffice to say, yet another attack on women and children, named as "domestic". Oh don't worry everyone, he wasn't a psycho or anything, it's just domestic! It's just fucking endemic, you mean. Because it's not like domestic magically means that each incident is isolated, except wait, no, that's literally how it is treated. ALL THE TIME.

Why is it only ever women's organisations who seem to care about these patterns? Why do we continue to glamourise control and emotional abuse in our media depictions of relationships when it's just the thin end of the wedge which ends in men killing women or men killing women's children in order to punish the woman? (Arguably worse). Why do we promote ultra-violent, misogynistic porn as something normal? Why do we laugh off male aggression?

Do we not get it? Do we not see the patterns? Because I see them ALL THE TIME and I don't know what to do about it, it really makes me despair.

OP posts:
Annesmyth123 · 20/03/2017 09:39

Ive been told, here on mumsnet, that the violence meted out to me was because I didn't pick well. It was said that you don't get raped if you pick a decent man.

It's an all pervasive attitude.

WobblyLegs5 · 20/03/2017 09:34

I commented on the beauty & the beast thread in aibu, so many posters saying it's just a kids film don't read so much into it, my girls loved it & are strong wOman yadda

It's so inherent. If a boy is mean it's cause he likes you etc. It's never called what it is.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 19/03/2017 23:33

Because it's too easy to blame "hysterical" women for "over-reacting", isn't it. Far easier to wait until an actual crime has actually been committed and then react to it, than be proactive in any way to prevent it occurring in the first place.

Also disgusted.

Xenophile · 19/03/2017 23:31

It wouldn't be awful at all. It would be the best thing for society.

I've been told that the violence that was meted out to me was my fault for not picking well. Women matter, just not to the people who can do anything about it.

Original poster
BertieBotts · 19/03/2017 23:27

But why would that be so awful? I literally don't understand it.

I know, it's because people think of it as a problem that happens to other people, and that by their superior skills of man picking it won't happen to them :( but why don't other women matter? Why can't we believe the women who are telling us they (or their children) are in danger, for a start?

OP posts:
Xenophile · 19/03/2017 23:12

We're not allowed to see male violence for what it is because if we did then someone would have to do something about it.

Babymamamama · 19/03/2017 23:00

Tragic. There are no words for this crime.