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Original poster

Is it just me, or is this a missing of the point?

70 replies

user1489831368 · 19/03/2017 08:49

I live in what considers itself an extremely feminist town. I walked into an exhibition "Women through history" with my 9yo dd and my baby daughter. Cue baby complainy noises, and we're glared out of the place. Did I miss something in feminism??

OP posts:
Original poster
user1489831368 · 19/03/2017 14:39

Sleep deprived sigh and... bipolar, PTSD and other crud. Which is why I left all social media about 5 years ago. Aaaaand.. all my friends. Gonna fight the urge to just flee though, I may have botched my first attempt at socialising here, but so be it. Maybe I'll be sane enough for actual friends again eventually.

OP posts:
Glossolalia · 19/03/2017 14:31

Hope you are feeling better soon user Flowers

Neglectedbythesun · 19/03/2017 14:29

Aw sleep deprivation is the worst. Hard to put up with shit when you're tired.

RufusTheRenegadeReindeer · 19/03/2017 14:24

And dont worry about the dignity thing

I have had three children i dont have any dignity left

RufusTheRenegadeReindeer · 19/03/2017 14:23

Dont worry user

Hope you feel better soon Thanks

Trills · 19/03/2017 13:25

Hope you feel better soon

PhoenixJasmine · 19/03/2017 13:19

That's all ok user, sorry that you're having a rough time and well done for coming back to the thread! Dignity truly preserved. The internet will still be here when you feel ready for it FlowersSmile

Original poster
user1489831368 · 19/03/2017 13:16

Just in case that came across as angry at all it wasn't supposed to. I am aware I overreact. I just regret this whole thread.

OP posts:
Original poster
user1489831368 · 19/03/2017 13:07

They're not removing the thread.. Sorry, I think I may still be too emotional to have an online presence. I honestly didn't come here to get upset, and nobody's really been mean. I shouldn't have posted in the first place. I just want to try to retrieve some dignity by apologising for my outburst.

OP posts:
RufusTheRenegadeReindeer · 19/03/2017 12:30

No one was making nasty comments to the OP

I thought most of them were sympathetic

Medeci · 19/03/2017 12:24

It's hard to be sure what a "glare" is, worried I'm inadvertently pissing off mothers of young children by just happening to glance in their direction while I've got my usual Resting Bitch Face on.
Also other facial expressions could be judged as "glare like". If I'm preoccupied in a public place, ie Tecos, trying to work out how much salad stuff needed for large barbecue and hear screaming or a sudden loud schreech of course I'm going to look to see what made the noise. I'll probably have a startled expression on my face, which could be construed as a glare.
Its a minefield, safest to wear dark glasses all the time.

Annesmyth123 · 19/03/2017 12:10

I'm not complaining. I'm musing. I'm wondering what I am missing. That isn't a complaint.

grannytomine · 19/03/2017 12:10

The thing with babies crying is that it is designed to be annoying so that we want to tend to the baby's needs. Nature did a really good job and listening to a baby crying isn't pleasant even if you love babies. Maybe they were stressed listening to her and you interpreted it as them disapproving. Maybe being really tired and stressed made you take this more seriously than was intended.

ErrolTheDragon · 19/03/2017 12:05

Maybe quite a few women are getting fed up with being judged for having to do stuff with a baby? Do you blame them? Do you think MN ( a parenting website) is an inappropriate place to complain about this?

Annesmyth123 · 19/03/2017 12:01

There's threads about being looked at in Aldi, in a doctors surgery, beside some daffodils loads where it's just someone looked at me and tutted at me and my 6 month old baby.

I was just wondering if there was something I was missing.

BertrandRussell · 19/03/2017 12:00

Saltaire?

PurpleDaisies · 19/03/2017 11:59

What do you mean anne?

YetAnotherSpartacus · 19/03/2017 11:58

Hebden Bridge?

Annesmyth123 · 19/03/2017 11:52

What's with all the looking at me threads?

PhoenixJasmine · 19/03/2017 11:50

AssassinatedBeauty - both probably, but would an anti-child society (if that is th case) be a feminist issue if it were not for inequality in childcare?

PhoenixJasmine · 19/03/2017 11:48

I might give a sympathetic look - could be interpreted as a glare by someone who felt self-conscious. Male or female.

I can understand glaring if the disruption was extreme, persistent or not being dealt with. In those cases one would expect the disruptive child to be removed from the environment but wouldn't feel comfortable to say so and be hoping that the adult got the message. The glarer would be getting increasingly annoyed at the lack of consideration being shown. If it went on a very long time the staff may receive complaints and be compelled to ask that the child leave.

Whatever the opinion on how much disruption is acceptable in a given environment, I don't see it as a feminist issue - yes it affects women more than men, but because of the inequality in childcare, not the nature of whether spaces are child-friendly or not.

PurpleDaisies · 19/03/2017 11:47

Same not sand.

PurpleDaisies · 19/03/2017 11:46

Sorry I mentioned it now. Thank you all for reminding me what a silly cow I am and that it was all my fault (BOTH for being there in the first place AND apparently for leaving)

Confused Are you reading the sand thread?

Glossolalia · 19/03/2017 11:44

OP no one has said you are a silly cow. I'm sure that no one on the thread thinks that either.

Are you ok? Flowers

BertrandRussell · 19/03/2017 11:43

"When they could be welcomed if we had a less anti-child society?"

Do we have an anti child society?