Girlie Glue

Wow, that is lame and alarming in equal measure.

So unfair that boys don't get to have stuff glued on them so we know what sex they are. Monocle and top hat sound great - how a glue on giant hipster beards and man buns, for the more relaxed weekend-at-home look?

I have an 8 month old boy with very little hair, and now I really want to stick a mini top hat on him! He would look adorable.

What could you stick on boys with no hair to make it clear that they're boys? A small plastic tractor or car maybe?

Nothing. It is always the oppressed who must be marked.

See cartoon animals - the normal one is male, the one with the pink bow is female.

That is why it is so essential to mark your female baby as female. If you refuse to participate in the nonsense, then other people's unmarked baby boys could be confused for girls - oh noes!
Or your female children could accidentally be treated as fully human by someone who thinks their lack of bows means they are male. The horror!

Though the mini top-hat and monocle sounds tempting. If I ever have a son, and someone tries to tell me that he should not wear pink clothes, I will reassure them that I will glue a top-hat on his head so there's no confusion.

Advocating gluing anything to a baby is a bit but something that could kill them? What genius came up with that?
Actually crying at some of the suggestions for boys

I thought this was going to be about those pink pritt sticks you can buy, which are pretty annoying but this is a whole new level of wtf.

Looking at the website they're suggesting people glue small plastic shapes to babies ears. Which is basically glueing something that's a perfect size for a baby to swallow onto a baby with a weak glue made from cactus sap. Great idea.

Oh god - typing while giggling.. Monocle

I did also see on twitter the excellent idea that if you are ever given some, you should use it as an opportunity to glue "horns, googly eyes, carpet samples" to your baby's head. I'd totally go for the horns.

What could you stick on boys with no hair to make it clear that they're boys? A small plastic tractor or car maybe?

A jaunty mini top-hat and monacle?

Words are failing me...

What could you stick on boys with no hair to make it clear that they're boys? A small plastic tractor or car maybe?

Just looked on their website - they also sell stick on bows and earrings. Stick on earrings for babies? Choking hazard?

I saw this on twitter, googled it thinking it must be a joke, and found out there is a WHOLE INDUSTRY dedicated to manufacturing little twee pieces of shite, bows and whatnot, to glue to your baby's head. It's amazing.

I did also see on twitter the excellent idea that if you are ever given some, you should use it as an opportunity to glue "horns, googly eyes, carpet samples" to your baby's head. I'd totally go for the horns.

like some kind of collage that made my day

That has to be a wind up surely?

Although I did once draw eyebrows and a moustache on a baby for comedy purposes...

I can't imagine what would go through someone's head to think it's a good idea to glue things on to their baby.. like some kind of collage... the world is a very weird place.

Ugh. This is not as disgusting as the labia glue, but still very, very disgusting.

Why would anyone be so vile as to use that on their daughter? Shouldn't people come to their senses when they realize that their daughter doesn't even have hair yet, and realize that she is a baby, not a decorative object?