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Original poster

The Orgasm Gap!

58 replies

SomeDyke · 24/02/2017 15:00

Forget about pay and all that! According to new research:

BBC News Report

"The study, by Indiana University, Chapman University and Claremont Graduate University, showed the proportion of people who usually orgasmed was:

65% of heterosexual women
66% of bisexual women
86% of lesbian women
88% of bisexual men
89% of gay men
95% of heterosexual men"

My initial reaction, I was a bit smug! (Yes, we keep boasting that it's better with a dyke! Grin). But then my second reaction was -- a THIRD of non-lesbian women don't usually orgasm. Despite years of feminism, books and videos and movies and more instructions on where to find the clitoris ,G-spot etc and what to do with them than you can shake a large vibrating dildo at. And yet a third still 'fail' (Note that I'm, not saying orgasming is/should be the goal of sex BTW).

Are non-gay men really that crap at sex? It would seem so!

Reading on, it says: "and a belief in some men that most women orgasm from penetrative sex." Whereas apparently "Few heterosexual women climaxed through penetrative sex alone".

So what is it, do the chaps not notice it, why is this false belief not questioned, or do their partners assure them it is all fine, or just act really well (whilst looking forward to a session with their rabbit once he has fallen asleep?).

I just find it depressing that after so many years of effort, women still do more of the household chores, still earn less, and it seems are less likely than the chaps to even have a decent shag after all that.......................

Because women deserve better!

OP posts:
DeviTheGaelet · 25/02/2017 00:13

gin Flowers

0phelia · 24/02/2017 22:34

Porn culture encourages female fake orgasms.

GinAndSonic · 24/02/2017 22:01

Typos everywhere but I'm outside having a fag and typing with frozen fingers.

GinAndSonic · 24/02/2017 22:01

My lack of orgasms is due in no small part to being raped and sexually abused in previous relationships. I do orgasms sometimes through penetrative sex with my current partner, though it's heavily dependent on position (so positions which provide more clitoral stimulation) and probably enabled by the fact that I feel safe with him in away I haven't with previous partners, so the mental barriers are easier to overcome. For me though this isn't a huge deal as I am there for the physical intimacy and it's still enjoyable. My partner also isn't hung up on his orgasms, he is more interested in giving me pleasure. My views are probably coloured by my past though.

It leads me to wonder if women in heterosexual relationships have lower rates of orgasms partially due to sigmar mental blocks. Even of women aren't sexually assaulted they are raised in a society that encourages body hang ups. And it cam be difficult to let go enough to orgasm when you are worried about how your tummy looks, or if your sex faces are weird, or your boobs too saggy/ small/ whatever.
The idea that men and boys get of women who are moaning and almost orgasmkc at the mere sight of a penis OR women don't really like sex OR women can't orgasm so why bother are all massive reasons that women are having unsatisfactory sex too.

We need better sex ed.

Batteriesallgone · 24/02/2017 15:18

Plenty of heterosexual women don't masturbate. I think that's probably got something to do with it.

I think a lot of women think of sex as being for the man and as long as it's not actively unpleasant, it's fine.

Datun · 24/02/2017 15:16

It honestly doesn't surprise me. I'm amazed how many men think women orgasm through penetrative sex and not clitoral stimulation. And of course lesbians would get it!

It's the same old thing when comedians, or men generally wonder out loud what on earth do lesbians DO? Because, to them sex is always and completely about the penis. Why else would they ever imagine that they could shag the homosexuality out of a lesbian?

Same with the trans-women lesbians. They cannot conceive how a lesbian simply isn't interested in penis.

Plus it's nowhere near as mechanical with women as it is for men. A plus B doesn't always equal C.

Janet80 · 24/02/2017 15:10

Ha! It's 99% of the time for me. Not being funny but it's up to the woman to take control of her orgasms, I wouldn't be having sex if I'm not going to finish. I can do it on my own, it's stronger and better with my husband but I do need extra stimulation by means of a toy, unless it's oral. A penis alone won't make me orgasm. So maybe the ones who don't orgasm haven't thought about using a toy or just don't know how to get to that point.

DeviTheGaelet · 24/02/2017 15:05

Interesting! I wonder why that is? I thought their point about sociological expectations of women during sex was interesting. Plus the correlation with oral surprised me. I wonder if that actually is about oral or if oral is an indicator of being less inhibited or something like that.