I've been the victim of male violence and abuse many times in my life and this is not about saying that doesn't happen. I know that most violence is from men.
What has been made me challenge some of my thinking around the 'male abuser' narrative that I've held for so long (backed up by stats etc) is that yes, females do not abuse like men (with violence) but females abuse in a way that is actually very rarely violating our current laws.
The abuse I have had first hand experience of is the systematic emotional abuse of children and (most often) ex partners. This is berating, manipulating, poisoning, frightening, controlling...everything you read about on the Stately Homes threads. I wonder about the numbers on this because I'm starting to think that the female form of abuse is just as prevalent as the male form of abuse and that has really challenged my world view and although there are some laws, the reality is it is nigh on impossible to get a conviction for emotional abuse.
This abuse is simply not punished by the law and despite it being extremely harmful causing lifelong mental health issues for its victims, there is very little that people can do if they have a family member who is dishing out the female form of abuse.
I'd be really interested to hear what others think, I realise that the argument will go that 2 women a week die at the hands of men in the U.K., and it's not to discount that in any way, I'm just interested that there is this underground, non-punishable form of abuse that is going on by females that might not directly kill people, but certainly lines people up for a difficult life.