Treated like a child - is this a feminist issue?

32 replies

AgeingArtemis · 17/02/2017 20:12

I am in my early twenties, a third year student on a professional course.

I was supposed to attend a teaching session, which I missed. I won't go into the reasons, it was it was fully my fault, but it is very very unlike me (I have never missed a session before) and there was a reason behind it.

I sent a email profusely apologising to the person leading the session, and she replied saying for me to come and see her. I thought that she was being kind and was going to explain to me how I could catch up (e.g. recommending some reading or something).

When I arrived at her office she immediately started to scold me, telling me my reason wasn't good enough etc. This I can understand. But she acted like she was a teacher at primary school or something- she even called me a "naughty girl!" I was too shocked and upset to stick up for myself (I have some childhood issues so tend to cower when being "told off"). I felt small and ashamed.

I agree I was the wrong, but I don't think it's acceptable for her to treat me like a child. I realised that if I were a young man this would NEVER have happened and that really pissed me off.

OP posts:

HelenDenver · 18/02/2017 10:22

Calling a twenty-something a naughty girl is inappropriate.

AB, I think the sexism is that women are much more likely to be called girls in their twenties than men are boys.

Garlic, op took responsibility for the mistake. She isn't objecting to the bollockjng but to the language. If OP's race, sexuality or disability had been referred to in the bollocking, it would also be inappropriate

AssassinatedBeauty · 18/02/2017 00:52

I do think it's odd that she called you a naughty girl, when you're an adult. I used to be a secondary school teacher and I'd not even use that phrase with teenagers tbh. It's definitely infantilising and perhaps inappropriate, but I'm not sure it's sexist.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 18/02/2017 00:12

You don't know how she would have treated a man.

Was the teaching session just you and her? In which case you have wasted her time.

I think it is a bit naive to think you were being called for a catch up session, which tbh does sound a bit childish as if you were expecting her to go " there, there, never mind" - and she didn't.

garlicandsapphire · 17/02/2017 23:04

How do you know a bloke wouldn't get a bollocking for a pathetic excuse?

Spend your time catching up with your class work rather than moaning about being told off. Kids make excuses and blame other people. You're deflecting from your responsibility for your own learning.

Its not because you're a girl - you missed class. How to avoid? Make it. Catch up. Otherwise you're just wasting your and other people's time. Other people out there would be desperate for your opportunity.

Prawnofthepatriarchy · 17/02/2017 22:57

Sorry this happened to you. You're right. She was completely out of order in the way she spoke to you and, yes, she wouldn't have done it if you were a man.

If she can influence your grades I'd ignore it. If you can safely speak your mind I'd write to her saying more or less what you've said here.

LynetteScavo · 17/02/2017 20:30

Even if she had said "naughty boy" it would have sounded almost mildly amusing and therefore a male may well have just rolled their eyes.

She was bang out of order, and I suggest emailing her to say as much.

But also roll your eyes at her pathetic comments.

VestalVirgin · 17/02/2017 20:25

That's very rude.
I have never had this happen with someone who actually knew my age (look younger, so I give people the benefit of doubt).

What was she thinking!

And yeah, I don't think she'd have done this with a man.

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