Help me raise my girls right

He is a chauvinistic ass thankfully Dd just gave him a look

I also have a disability and don't work so it is traditional in the sense of i was home usually but their dad did a lot when he was home so they didn't see just me doing things

Yes what tinkly said my other dd thinks unicorns shit glitter and that really is ok too dd2 loved brownies and guides they did camping and skincare i think all girl spaces are great the girls get to be themselves, My dds imo are well rounded women who are femmine and strong and feminist. They will always come up against sexism and it is frustrating and infuriating but I hope we have equipped them right to deal with it. My stepdad still can't get over Dd1 is able to arrest people he said to her does the police man step in

My girls are 17 and 21 and identify as feminists. The eldest is a little bit of an air head and the youngest is quite girly and they are both very glam on a night out, so I think it sometimes takes people by surprise.

We have very traditional roles in our house; husband works more hours than me so I tend to do the housework stuff. And I am disabled so he does more of the physical stuff. Fortunately we have close friends where the male partner is the SAHD so they can see that there are other ways of doing things.

We have two sons as well and were have always tried to treat the kids pretty much the same regardless of biology.

Yes completely agree with that tinkly- it can definitely go too far the other way.

tinkly

Yes, it's a bit of a strange two way street isn't it? You have to ensure they know that girls' things have just as high a value as boys' things, and at the same time tell them that they can do boys things because the value of those isn't mythically higher than girls' things.

And try and get rid of the girls/boys description altogether. They are just 'things'.

I also think you need to tell your girls that stereotypically girly stuff is okay. Activities and hobbies and school subjects and jobs aren't "lesser" just because they are things that traditionally women have done. I do think some people have the idea that feminists almost have to dis girly stuff to get equality, ie scorning Brownies for Cubs.

Mrs

It's ridiculous, isn't it? We all know why the shops are doing it, but it has such an influence when girls feel they are wrong for choosing the blue toys and vice versa.

Because it is so pronounced and because there will be loads of toys in the boys section that girls like, and the other way round, I think children above a certain young age will easily grasp how daft it is if it's explained.

What are Action Men, super heroes and WWF fighters, if not dolls? Why do they think only the boys play with those dolls and girls played with the pretty dolls - it's insulting.

When I was a kid I much preferred my brother's Action Men, because of all the gadgets they came with.

That is a good idea actually, with my eldest she had zero interest in barbies and baby dolls so when we went to pick a toy she liked trains and lego we went straight there but i never mentioned it was the boy section just the toy section

How old are your daughters OP?

If they are still playing with toys, a quick walk through Toys "R" Us pointing out how silly it is that they are divided so much by gender, might be useful. You could explain that it's because they are able to sell two lots of everything if things are purposely divided into blue and pink.

In my experience, children are very quick to grasp the idea of materialism.

Tbh i cant remember exactly what i said about sexism but they know what sexist and what isn't I guess it would have started young. I remember dd getting teased at nursery about her thomas the tank wellies they were for boys blah de blah. I just said they were being silly and Thomas was for everybody and apparently dd caused a fuss next day when she told everybody Thomas was for girls too.

I experienced a lot of that kind of attention from secondary school onwards. One thing I wish I'd had known back then is that it is wrong. I knew I didn't like it, I knew it made me feel horrible and awkward (and contributed to eating disorders as well as not wanting to leave the house). But I didn't know the men who did it were wrong. It happened so often and no-one ever said to me "they shouldn't be doing that", I just assumed that's how things were and it was normal and I was weird for feeling weird about it. I am going to make sure my DD knows it isn't normal and that she doesn't have to entertain their attempts at conversation out of politeness. She isn't even 3 yet so it's a while off I hope, but we will be talking about it as she gets older. Also yes, awareness about privacy and consent, and I like the idea of her learning a martial art, for confidence as much as anything.

I have 9 and 6 year old daughters. I've pointed out things on TV that are sexist over the years. It must have hit home because they both see things now (especially on adverts) that I had not noticed.

They know that their bodies belong to them and it's ok to not let people touch them.

They both do ninjitsui too which has been a fantastic confidence booster for them, and it gives me peace of mind that they can look after themselves.

6yo DD was OUTRAGED last week when a boy in her class told her that girls couldn't do certain jobs. By the time she'd finished ripping into him he was sorry he'd opened his mouth .

Leaving isn't easy with a child and house and thinking of my eldest too

True. But it is a goal you can work toward.

In the meantime, make it clear to your daughters that you disagree with his sexist attitudes.

www.buzzfeed.com/jtes/sexual-assault-survivors-answer-the-question-what-were-you-w?utm_term=.pqwNoxJyA#.bs5VAJdy1

My dp came out with something similar when my dd who is 12 was wearing a jumper that showed a tiny bit of skin when she moved. His words where "dont you have any self respect i dont want you wearing things like that!" He also cant seem to understand what im talking about.

There is also a (heartbreaking) twitter hashtag regarding what women/girls were wearing when assaulted - often it's jeans, PJs etc.

Does he know that 85-90% of rapes/sexual assaults are by someone known to the victim?

And the women's work shit needs to stop. Have you read the stickied post at the top of the Relationships board? Have you swapped a grade 8 arsehole for a grade 6 arsehole?

I agree. Dump him. Getting more attached to him only to have to get rid of him later would only hurt you more, and considering that this is not the only sexist attitude he has displayed ...

if you don't want to have that done don't dress in a way that attracts men

Lots of men are attracted to school uniform regardless of the age of the wearer. Start with this.