Using 'Mrs'

See, to me the oppression of Mrs, Miss etc is not that I don't have a choice. It's that marriage confers status. In the very recent past, it meant you were more able, for example, to access banking products, loans, business loans etc. That status was conferred by the association with a man. It was unavailable to unmarried women, and therefore choosing or not to have that title and its associated privilege is a bit of a luxury for the already married or independently wealthy. In this set up, when you choose to use Mrs as an honorific that confers status you are simultaneously choosing that unmarried women are disadvantaged in relation to you. So to me a choice about whether or not to adopt Mrs on marriage isn't really where the oppression of Mrs/ Ms and Miss happen. It's the fact that being married and identifying yourself as such confers actual, material status on the individual that is unavailable to other women who are not associated to men.

While the direct and explicit relation between getting a mortgage and being a Mrs might not be there, to my mind there is still undoubtedly a left over affect, with being a Mrs still associated with being a proper grown up, more responsible etc. And women do often talk about how proud they are of their marriages (as a reason to change their names/ title). So really it does still confer some status and it really is because of the association with men.

The thing with continuing the tradition of using Mrs to denote full adult human status, I'm afraid I find too irritating to get over, because of its history and association with marriage. To me, saying, well , let's just all call ourselves Mrs, is a bit like saying, all the single women are as good as any married women. When I'd much rather we were saying marriage is not relevant to my status as an adult and should confer absolutely no social or material advantage over single women. And I'd also rather not pander to the frightened-of-feminists brigade by avoiding Ms because Milie Tant is off-putting or real to them.

Interested to hear people interchangeably using Mrs or Ms or whatever - I've never been married and it wouldn't occur to me to use Mrs, bc I'd assume for example on tax or similar forms I'd then have to explain my marriage status/ history.

Nope, Ovaries, just tick Ms!

Do you need to do anything specific to start using Ms instead or is it just a case of ticking the "Ms" box instead of "Mrs"?

You don't need to do anything specific to tick any of them.
None of them mean anything legally.

If you are unmarried you can tick Mrs if you want to- all those women who are divorced are unmarried no matter how many times they tick "Mrs".

I've always been Ms since I was a teenager. Just put Ms down.

I got married a few weeks ago. I've tried using Mrs Mysurname-Hissurname but I'm just not keen, I'm 22 and feel too young to be a Mrs

Do you need to do anything specific to start using Ms instead or is it just a case of ticking the "Ms" box instead of "Mrs"?

I don't think it's controversial, it's just that there is definitely progress towards universal acceptance of Ms and using Mrs instead seems like a retrograde step. Also, perhaps if I wasn't already married I might not object to using Mrs subversively as it would not be indicative of my marital status, but as I am married and have been actively avoiding it for nearly 20 years I would be reluctant to take it now.

"Historically, mistress was not always an adulterous title. It just meant a grown woman who was not a lady"

Yes, I know.

thank you

Will you let's us know what sort response you get boo I'd be interested.

Madam?

What Trills said.

And Mr is not pronounced how it is written; the female equivalent was once Mistress, as others have said. Ms or Mrs could both be short for mistress, but unfortunately this has adulterous connotations.

Ms exists. Mrs has a meaning with respect to marriage. You won't change that now.

I don't find it controversial, I just don't believe it's the best plan, if our aim is to have the majority of adult women using one title, and for titles to not reflect marital status, I think we have a better chance with Ms than with Mrs.

I don't find the idea controversial. I think the principle is sound. I just think it will confuse people and there won't be enough take up to make it a thing.

Also sorry for my very poor SPAG.

bertrand Yes I believe it could, I also believe it would happen quicker then the Ms has.

I believe this because as you point out its is generally to denote a married woman. PP said how many women still like Miss because they like the change to Mrs after marriage. Well maybe it's not that they like Miss so much but the and finale change to Mrs. So let's just give everyone Mrs, then there is no pinnical (not that I think it is), if all woman are Mrs from 18 then the link to marriage will soon disappear.

Whilst we still have a choice of 3 different titles, people will still be influenced into using one, whichever it maybe.

"Maybe eventually it will be fully accepted, but Mrs already is." as meaning a married woman. Do you seriously think you are going to change that?

I do use it though.

But then you say that the take up of Ms is slow- of course it is if people don't use it!