Women and Christmas

op

This thread makes interesting reading

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2804894-Christmas-is-a-feminist-issue?

Interesting. Do women create Christmas?

I feel the need to mention this advert from 2012

Asda - Christmas, Mum is behind it.

You only have to read many of the threads on MN to see the pressure women are under - and to ask why it is so...

There have been threads on MN discussing reasons why.

I do wonder what would happen at Xmas if there were no women. I think it might grind to a halt quite swiftly

Would that be such a bad thing?
Apart from a few exceptions*, most people I know moan about "what christmas has become", all the preparation, expectation, expense. Maybe these men have it right

*A few people I know, both men and women who love christmas and build for it from October.

I think Bucking's synopsis has it right, though it's the media that is responsible for most of the pressure.to do a perfect job of creating Christmas. My own circle is perfectly happy with the same roast turkey and traditional trimmings. No one expects to be impressed by ground breaking cuisine. Roast dinners are pretty straightforward and the puddings are simple.

I've been thinking about this issue over the past few days, in a happy whirl, and came to two conclusions about my own personal position. First, that as my family is close and affectionate, I have always really enjoyed Christmas. Second, that I like doing Christmas my way, and that my DH's lack of interest suited me very well. His family Christmases, growing up, were classic bad ones: too much alcohol, grouchiness leading to screaming rows. When we started our family he left Christmas entirely up to me. At first I felt a bit hard done by, but when I thought about my reactions in depth I realised that I was actually really pleased that I got to do Christmas my own way. After a few years my DH got to like Christmas with my extended family. I love wrapping presents and decorating the house, but I only do what I want to do.

I think it's pretty obvious that many women demand too much of themselves, though it's not only women who do it. My DF still gets anxious about whether people will like their presents, a legacy of childhood trauma. But it is mainly women it affects, especially those who lack confidence or who have to spend Christmas with people who will judge them. You do get ultra competitive women who get a kick out of out Christmassing everyone else.

There's an episode of The Middle that illustrates this perfectly. Season 6 Episode 9. The Christmas Wall. You might find some cathartic laughs therein OP.

We must:
Buy thoughtful present
Wrap beautifully
Prepare fabulous food without breaking a sweat*
Look sensational and seasonal
Manage the family dynamics
Look after the halt, the lame, and the geriatric

You do realise the characters in the Tesco ads et al are just actors?

Smart, I hear you. Xmas is the social equivalent of the ultimate test for women.

We must:
Buy thoughtful present
Wrap beautifully
Prepare fabulous food without breaking a sweat
Look sensational and seasonal
Manage the family dynamics
Look after the halt, the lame, and the geriatric

And we are expected to enjoy ourselves cos, after all, it's all for the little ones, bless (vom).

And many (not all) absorb this pressure and convince themselves they do enjoy it, even if they don't.

A mix of martyrdom and power.

I don't think you want a discussion- you want a pile of posters agreeing with you that Christmas is yet another example of patriarchical and societal oppression which women cannot resist and can do nothing about 'cos it's the patriarchy.

And you get no brownie points for your "hard of understanding" comment.

I understood the point, but thought it was stupid & responded accordingly - discursive enough for you

Well no I accept many women take it all on, my point is lots of people do manage to share out the workload. It's not hard. while I accept in the old days it was routine for the women to do it all, nowadays you will find its not routinely the case

It really isn't hard but a thread saying that would get no attention.

Are people only allowed on here if they agree?

I agree with you.

Well, being 'forced' to a write a few cards that no one would notice if you didn't do it is the ultimate first world problem.

Do these women not have the power of speech to ask for help?

Or to say, sod it, if you want Christmas , do it yourself.

Thanks Vestal, yes, it's that programming, isn't it? I totally get that

So incapable of independent thought as well as speech?

No understanding of the wider cultural assumptions, all very 'well, it's fine here, so let's not analyse the dynamics'.

Let's discuss the dynamics endlessly and then come to the conclusion it's too difficult to change anything.

That's not my point. It's about the cultural assumption that women will do it all. And that men only 'help'

And so what ? Are you actually going to do anything about or just continue to be a martyr?

It is exactly this sort of trivial whiny shit that puts women off the Mumsnet approved brand of feminism.
Ooh ouch. I'm hurt. No really.

Can't we offer an other view without derision, I thought that didn't happen on here

Well, "it doesn't happen to me so therefore it's not a thing" isn't a view though, it's an attempt to shut down a discussion.

It is exactly this sort of trivial whiny shit that puts women off the Mumsnet approved brand of feminism.

Oh dear! Well I shall never again notice who is trudging around the shops on the days before Christmas again.

Speak for yourself whatthese

There aren't any many articles in men's magazines about how to ice a Christmas cake and making a centrepiece for the Christmas table etc are there? I know there'll be some that say good housekeeping isn't aimed at women, but is aimed at both sexes, but I think that would be pushing it a bit.

It is exactly this sort of trivial whiny shit that puts women off the Mumsnet approved brand of feminism.