BDSM and Feminism?

Me too. I think she makes a lot of good points and crystalised for me what squicks me about the state of male-sub & male-dom culture.

I find it irritating that female desire, even when the woman is supposed to be the one in charge, is seen as incidental. Or, if she gets to get off on anything, it's that she's fulfilled the fantasy of her partner.
I mean, sure, that's nice and everything but what about her fantasies and her interests?

Yes, I've read the Bitchy Jones blog before, and I think she does a really good job of explaining those issues.

I also think what she says is applicable to women thinking about their sexual preferences in general, not just female dominants.

This feminist blogger wrote some really interesting stuff about what it is like to be a female dominant. bitchyjones.wordpress.com/

It's funny, she's not turned on by cissification or humiliating someone by saying they have a small penis. And I think there's a reason why guys have to go to pro-doms to get this desire catered for.

This is a good post:-
bitchyjones.wordpress.com/2008/08/24/when-mandoms-stalked-the-earth/

I thought almonds question was quite simple to understand, I don't think it was fishing for any particular answer. That's your bias reading it that way.

I don't think it is all about men; I'm just asking about women's sexual experiences because that it what I want to know about.

I think we cannot help living in a patriarchal society. Our preferences were formed in that context. Like shaving legs, wearing make up, or having long hair, they are personal choices but in a societal and cultural context we cannot ignore.

No you're not -you're just not listening ... you want to hear it's all about the man and nothing more.

I can see why so many people have negative opinions of this section - waste of time discussing anything you are so blinkered...

It may well be about mutual satisfaction, but so far we're only hearing about what the men like.

I'm interested in hearing what dominant women like.

Not at all... just a rude person

You were rude.
You also clearly know nothing about BDSM if you think the subs likes are not taken into account or the reasons for certain actions when participating.

Man likes to be humiliated - Dom likes to humiliate him in ways he enjoys - it's about mutual satisfaction & pleasure not just the woman.

Probably.

Is this one of those examples of the horrible rude feminists?

I don't think so. I'm just clarifying.

I'm on a feminist board asking about women's sexual preferences.

Well you are very rude aren't you!!

I didn't ask about what men like.

Some men like to be humiliated and one thing that humiliated them and makes them
Feel inferior is being told they have a small
Penis...

Find it, not grind it, although grind it is weirdly fitting.

I wonder why so many female dominants grind it sexually or emotionally satisfying to tell a man he has a small penis. Is anyone a female dominant who can explain?

Two people engaging in an act?

Is this some kind of tree falling in a forest question?

If two people engage in an act and nobody else knows about it, it has no impact on wider society.

Obviously BDSM isn't some private matter, or we wouldn't all know what safe, sane and consensual means or cumslut and slapping together. It's a culture that interacts with the wider culture.

The whole female dominating males thing is also massively misogynistic because it is often done through cissification (degrading men by treating them like women) and has huge overlap with presenting as a woman as a sexual fetish.

As others have said, you can do things that aren't feminist and still be a feminist.

I agree with dowager.

However I will say that I think there is a problem including all bdsm under one heading. A few ropes and chains are a lot less problematic within a feminist standpoint than DDlg, for eg.

The point is, again, that feminists can do many unfeminist things as individuals. Not everything a woman does is a feminist act. But it's up to you as an individual to reconcile that with your feminism. I personally do see it as problematic, on the whole. But if you are happy with it, that's your choice and none of anyone else's business. Just don't try to claim it as a "feminist" act or say that you are being oppressed because people are uncomfortable when you practice it in public.

Gallavich is not always men=Dom, woman=sub. Also what about same sex partners too?

girl, I have no idea where it comes it, it simply always has been, even to think back to way younger. It is a latent part of my sexuality and I have no abuse in my past before someone asks.

Yes, I consider myself a feminist (as does my gf). Part of feminism is having the choice to do whatever I please with my body. Having bodily autonomy. I choose to consent to my partner doing specific things that we have talked about and agreed to before. As does she as we switch roles depending on our mood.