Does having sex with a prostitute constitute rape?

It's a smidge inflammatory to post "let the flaming commence" when no one has said anything yet, isn't it?

Women can't talk freely about consent and sexual violence? OK. Can't say as I agree.

Mumofone

For starters analysis and discussion can initiate change.

For another no rape victims DON'T always know - especially when it's perpetrated by someone they know (which is the most common situation). I was abused by my father, it took years of counselling to BEGIN to accept it was abuse and not my fault.

A friend was raped by her ex boyfriend - he was only supposed to be collecting his belongings following the split and even though there was violence she struggled to accept it was rape.

There are many examples on here in the relationships section of wives being raped and dismissing because it's their husband (often because they're also being abused in other ways too).

heron

Also a survivor of a similar assault and I'm afraid I disagree with.

In fact the idea that rape is dangerous strangers only is very very problematic

Eh? Why do you have "huge issues" with it?

Of course people don't always know (or maybe can't being themselves to call it "rape")

Why would talking about it bother you?

having worked for rape crisis I assure you this is categorically not the case

I have worked with women who assumed it wasn't considered rape if their husbands did it, for one thing

I have huge issues with people sitting down to analyse if it's rape or not! IMO you know if you have been raped.. and all that has come after diminishes what is a serious crime.. let the flaming commence

I am also a survivor (it is horribly common) and was also attacked at Uni.

I do think that these are all events on the spectrum of sexual violence by men, perpetrated on women

heron I am sorry that happened to you

Heron very sorry that happened to you. That was horrific.

But I have to as an abuse survivor respectfully disagree.

There are different kinds of rape but it's still rape and it's still wrong.

heron

I strongly believe that a culture in which men think it is OK to buy consent from a woman who does not want to have sex with them is a culture in which rapes such as you suffered will be more likely. Consent is not a commodity; consent, freely given, should be a pre requisite.

I am sorry for what happened to you.

heron - that must have been awful.

I was abused as a teenager and gave no consent at all.

It doesn't mean that prostitution isn't another form of rape and part of the same wider rape culture we live in.

As many have said above, prostitutes don't always consent themselves, and even when they do, it's a choice made possible and viable by the society we live in.

Some clearly don't even speak English.

I've been raped too heron, and I disagree. I doubt I'm alone in this either

I completely disagree that it is rape.

I was raped - by three strangers who broke into my university halls whilst I was sleeping, beat me up and had sex with me whilst I was semi conscious.

THAT is rape.

To say that a prositute who, by definition of their work, is prepared to have sex, has taken money for it and knows what is going on is raped is complete bollocks.

I think most people who have any empathy for others and think that women are actually human beings with their own feelings, preferences and desires can probably infer that prostitution is a pretty unpleasant way to make money, to say the least.

It's obvious really and if you don't find it obvious, you need to ask yourself what it is about you that stops you from being able to see that, because imo you have something psychologically wrong with you.

Tarla oh, yes, I think it is not chiefly about sex, it is about power.

men who feel powerless in their lives decide to feel more powerful by subjugating someone else.

the fact they get their end away is just a small part of it, imo.

'the woman had clearly enjoyed the sex with him' - what a deluded fool!

Nailed it again Tarla.

That's exactly what I was meaning when I was saying if it was just about sex there's PLENTY of ways these days to get nsa sex.

I'd be willing to bet money that for the majority of these men, a large part of the appeal lies in the very fact that they can buy themselves a collection of holes and do whatever they like to those holes. I'd also bet that an equally large part of the appeal is that prostitute is not entirely willing but must go along with it anyway.

Punternet is just vile. It sends chills through me. Yesterday I read a review on there by a man saying how very much the woman had clearly enjoyed the sex with him, which made a change from most of the prostitutes he'd seen.

What more proof so you need that it's rape and that these men know it's rape and don't care?

silk how devastating

Certainly the men involved in this business, at every level, don't see women as people at all. They are money making machines.

There was a saying I remember: 'you'll have had your hole, then?
sauna owners would invite their mates / favoured customers for freebies.

(a crude variant on the Edinburgh expression: 'you'll have had your tea?')

Women were viewed as holes, pure and simple.

I'm watching a tv show and at one point a man visits a brothel and jokes about all the women having "daddy issues". So I simply don't buy that men are not aware of the women not really consenting.

Stop it OP.

Also loving Tarlas post especially

"These men don't respect women, they don't see them as equal or as people of value."

Silk thank you for redressing the balance.

No offence intended but I'm not buying those posters claiming they do it and don't mind/it's having/had no negative effect on them.

I'm also not at all surprised business increased when church authorities in town.