Are banks indirectly (or directly?!) discriminating against their customers?

It's not only banks though is it. It seems impossible for us to have our water bill (for one example) sent to both our names.

This has resulted in us receiving "warning letters" because DH is so lax at opening mail (which is why it needs to be addressed to both of us...I do the admin in this house).

I wonder what century we are in sometimes and the only way I thought I might manage to get round it is by telling them my name is

I haven't had this issue, but we've recently moved and despite me setting up the council tax account and paying all the bills, they issued the refund for overpayment as a check in DH's name. Unimpressed.

Sky wouldn't let me cancel without speaking to my husband last month.

Bank send everything joint to both of us, however our estate agent has pissed me off and it's one of the big ones, I was the one to arrange the veiwing, contact them to say we wanted it, requested to be lead tennant on the form and paid the deposit and first months rent - from the joint account but with my card, our reference for the direct debit is still HIS surname!! (followed by numbers so uniqueness isn't an issue) Then despite on the application form filling in our jobs as me unemployed and him teacher and me as the lead tennant they only ever ring him and only give his number out to contractors even after I'd requested them to at least try mine first as I now work shifts so am available much more than dh who they know is a teacher!

Far be it from me to defend Halifax but when OH and I transferred our joint account to them the person who handled the changeover
put my name first as my initial came before his in the alphabet. To me that seems a fair way of doing things. In practice I give him the post to open and deal with anyway as he was always complaining about the untidy way i opened the envelope!

When we signed up to a joint account with Halifax, my name was put first and DP's name was second as it was linked to my personal account and DP didn't have an account with Halifax. DP then started getting letters addressed to Mr DP DodosNest which I found very funny seeing as we're still unmarried but it got sorted relatively quickly.

I think it's probably to do with the person who actually fills in the paperwork for you and how lazy they are - I'd be very surprised if the actual systems don't have the ability to put women first in 2016!

Mollie yes someone has to be first, but why is that someone always a man?

mollie if you read my first post, you'll see that it lead to millions of pounds of shares going to men that should have been slit between men and women. Millions of pounds is probably worth being upset over, I think.

On our First Direct bank account we've never had a problem - we put my name first when we opened it (they had boxes for first and second account holders) and they've continued to put my name first on correspondence since. Our mortgage, on the other hand - the rate is brilliant so I put up with it, but Santander are sexist bastards. I do all the correspondence and phone calls, my name was first on the application, I was the higher earner when we took out the mortgage and am now the only earner. Do they take any of that into account? Do they fuck.

Smile (part of the Co-op group) send the same info to each of us, they do have DH as first on the account, but it is quite likely we listed him first when opening the account (as at the time he was the only one earning).

Someone has to be first. In fairness it should be 50/50 whose name comes first but given the problems in the world is it really something to get so upset and claim discrimination .

Nationwide did this to me, after I added my DH to my account. Also they sent tax documents for an account solely in my name to my husband.

It's a wonder I haven't been arrested yet.

But to clarify anyway, Dear......and x is the company/addressees

that is why I write Dead x team

Harsh . It's pretty annoying, but I doubt it's worth death threats.

The Cooperative Bank don't seem to struggle with this. Our account name is Mrs X and Mr Y Surname and letters are addressed as such.

PoisonWitch that is why I write Dead x team

Where I work I have to send letters to people and their accountants. Often I don't have the name of a specific accountant so have to write a letter to the company, needing a plural of Dear xxx. I can have dear sir, dear sir or madam or dear sirs. Sirs is the only plural. It fucks me right off.

I had this when applying for mortgages. I am the higher earner and I do all the admin so I put my name as applicant 1 and DH as the joint applicant. When the paperwork arrived they had switched them around so that everything was addresses to DH and I was a joint applicant!

I added my husband to an account I have had for years so we could use it as a joint account. His name now comes first. I'm the higher earner and manage most of our finances.

Totally agree that there is implicit sexism in banking systems. 'my first post on here was me being incoherent with rage because my bank had randomly decided for no apparent reason, to change my name on all accounts to my husbands name. i kept my name on marriage, MrsFreshwaterHusbandname does not exist, and never has. It turned out to be a specifically French quirk - the nom de jeune fille. in france, though women mostly take their husbands name on marriage, for legal purposes like voting, buying houses etc, you are known for life by your maiden name. They'd done a review, noticed the name difference and decided for me that i should really be MmeFreshwaterHusbandName.

RAGE!! silly woman doesn't even know her own name!! I think actual flames came out of my ears.

I will say, the mortgage company was always excellent - knew I was first point of contact, and put us both on all written communication (joint mortgage, DP the higher earner at the time), our joint life insurance always send (reams) of duplicate documentation to us both equally - so there are companies out there that aren't lazy and do this right.

Estate agents though - the one we rented through had never met DP, but sent important documents straight to him (and he was in Hong Kong for 6 weeks at the time, so if we didn't open each other's mail we'd have been in trouble), and the one I rent my house out through was given my Dad as a local contact (he lives 10 mins up the road) - and now have started emailing him rather than me about all decisions about the property (Dad forwards them on of course - but I've reminded them repeatedly and they keep doing it)

Happened to me with Barclays too (also an account I'd had since Uni, DP also has never used his card, let alone signed up for online banking or anything). I even remember reading about this sort of thing here, and making sure that when I added him to the account he was listed as the second person. Alphabetically (both names - in fact, middle names too) he's after me etc. There was no reason to put him first other than sexism.

I complained, they fixed it, and gave me £50.

But still almost all mail, joint accounts, mortgages, home ownership etc. uses Mr and Mrs as the default.

Thats so weird. Quaint "speak to Mr' stuff faded out in the late 1980s. and my uni was more than 50% female and i don't know any couple where the man is in charge of finances.

In the UK Barclays put DH first because he wears a penis. Then they did a big share handout. Shares can only be owned by one person, not held jointly, so DH got ALL the shares. That was done on ALL joint accounts for Barclays.

During the 90s there were a lot of banks/building societies that gave out shares to customers, and ALL of them will have gone to males on joint accounts. It must have come to millions of pounds across the country.

Thankfully DH is an honest man and we both view all money as joint money.

So, our latest bank account, I insisted on going first, and when we order checkbooks (US) I put my name first. DH and I take turns being first now on any major paperwork. He's first on house ownership, and utilities, I'm first on mortgage and bank account.