DP says he is not a feminist..

lib - if there's a prize for conflating several issues and applying them to a group of people you don't know - it's yours.

to get back on point (sigh) - OP you are not the first to post here about finding out that their partner is sexist or whatever. I suppose only you will know if he just spouting shit he doesn't mean, or being brainless or whatever. but my dad's response when I commented on some of the things he found funny was to be irate. This pretty much sums him up. So where your DP goes from here is key.

I do think that people who don't call out this stuff are contributing to the problem so if he's blithely laughing at sexist jokes, that's not great, sorry. All that has changed is he's hiding it from you.

I don't care if racists are offended by me thinking that they're idiots for finding racists jokes funny.

VestalVirgin - it's a stereotype in American social media that blacks love watermelons (and chicken).

why i am asking is in the post above (the one part should read people who do enjoy, not, people do enjoy).

libprog you know British 'black' humour isn't jokes about black people, right?

Well sorry about derailing the thread. I didn't actually intend to, the point was wondering whether you are consistent in your views, which makes you sincere, something a lot of people aren't.

But it also highlights why feminism has such a bad rep, or rather quite a lot of people that feel strongly against it. Just look at the last two votes, and people saying well Brexit and Trump happened because people don't like being told they are wrong, being dismissed as racists and sexists. Well every single one of you so far has basically said they think people do enjoy these jokes are idiots (well you were more polite, but that is the implication), so someone who was neutral about feminism might suddenly feel attacked in a similar manner as people say caused the results of the votes.

@Lorelei76: As mentioned above, jokes about Irish people are considered racist. However but some people would say that racism is discriminating people due to skin colour.

So things like the Vines about watermelons and black people would be completely shocking to you?

Perhaps it would be shocking to me after someone explained to me why it is supposed to be funny. Black people and watermelons have nothing to do with each other as far as I am concerned. This thing just confuses me whenever I see it on media.

Yes, I would be completely shocked by jokes about black people and watermelons. I wouldn't go out with someone who thought they were funny. That isn't a controversial position, surely?

but lib, why are you asking?!

Racist jokes was just another example to sexist. I suppose he is not known as a racist one, but an offensive one.

Vines is a social media platform where you upload videos that are a maximum of 6 seconds long, and your followers can see them, or they can get posted elsewhere (youtube is full of them). The app will actually close again though because it's already been made redundant by others like snapchat.

libprog

Not a fan of Frankie Boyle and unfamiliar with Chapelle.

Am I shocked so much humour is sexist or racist? Not in the slightest, since there is still a lot of sexism and racism about, to state the obvious.

Would I want to date/be friends with someone who liked these jokes? No.

However, there is a lot of fun to be had making fun of sexism and racism, which, to me, is black humour, since these issues are not funny. Picture attached.

PS I don't know much about FB other than his disablist jokes, more than enough to put him on the "don't listen to this arsewipe" list.

lib, I almost don't want to respond because I have a feeling you're here to derail but if it helps

...fans of Frankie Boyle, hmm, safe to say not someone I'd be mates with
....don't know Dave
....vines about watermelons and black people - yes just as offensive as a sexist joke

what are you getting at by the way?!

who me?
who is 'the vines'?
If anyone was making jokes about black people and watermelons i would switch it off. Actually I tend not to watch TV which saves a lot of bother.

Is Frankie Boyle a well known racist comedian? I find Frankie Boyle distasteful for many reasons and choose not to watch anything with him on. I haven't seen any of David Chappelle's comedy so no idea about that.

As for Vines, I don't know what they are. You will need to explain what you mean I think.

So things like the Vines about watermelons and black people would be completely shocking to you?

have never watched Frankie Boyle and have no idea who Dave Chapelle is.

Dozer - Er, no one has said they like racist jokes

So everyone who likes say Frankie Boyle is vile? What about Dave Chapelle?

Vestal " Unless you group the jokes we make about neighbouring (white-skinned) nations as racist, I am not sure I could come up with even one genuinely funny racist joke. "

confused by this too. I'm not white but i am British and I don't see any nations as having a particular skin colour?!

lib "Do all of you that find sexist jokes completely inappropriate (even going so far to say you would not date someone who laughed at them), also find racist jokes completely inappropriate? "

I am utterly mystified by this remark. Of course I feel the same about racist jokes.

Do all of you that find sexist jokes completely inappropriate (even going so far to say you would not date someone who laughed at them), also find racist jokes completely inappropriate? Either hypocritical or surprising, giving the UK is known for its black humor.

I am not from the UK, and I don't know many racist jokes I would consider funny at all. Unless you group the jokes we make about neighbouring (white-skinned) nations as racist, I am not sure I could come up with even one genuinely funny racist joke.

Funny stereotype jokes tend to be about culture, not race.

Most "sexist jokes" are just sexism that you could take at face value if not told that it is supposed to be a joke. Ha, ha.

• but then my dad was Irish and I grew up in the 70s and 80s which was a time when people thought that telling stupid Irish jokes was hilarious.

" Do all of you that find sexist jokes completely inappropriate (even going so far to say you would not date someone who laughed at them), also find racist jokes completely inappropriate? "

yes i hate racist and sexist jokes.
I would not date anyone that thought that racist jokes were funny.

libprog, sorry, I don't follow your question about British black humour.

But no, I would not date or be friends with people who laughed at racist or sexist jokes. This is not exactly puting the bar sky high.

Er, no one has said they like racist jokes.

I am just interested in particular to hear how other people's (male) partners view feminism and whether anybody else has similar concerns about their partners perhaps viewing it only as an issue affecting women.

I have no problem with men viewing patriarchal oppression as an issue that only affects women. It is something that disproportionately affects women, and its negative effects on men are hardly noticeable.

However, I could not be in a relationship with a man who doesn't love me enough to want to free me from patriarchal oppression.

This is a matter of loyalty.

I, as a white person, do not feel affected by racism. I am not very involved in any anti-racism movement, either. However, I am very much against racism in principle, and would never laugh about, or even forward, racist jokes.

And that is what I expect from men when it comes to sexism/misogyny.

"Oh, I wouldn't say I am a feminist, apart from signing the occasional petition I don't do much feminist activism", is fine.

"I dislike feminism and therefore don't consider myself a feminist" is not.