DP says he is not a feminist..

Indeed Lass

Precisely none of them have come anywhere near experiencing the disadvantages that women face every single day

This is basically an invitation to see who feels the most hard done by. It is self evident that on a daily basis an awful lot of men face many more and more significant disadvantages than middle class white women in the UK. Oppression Olympics is I believe the phrase en vogue. The trans lobby seem very skilled in the art.

I think you're being selectively reactive there Atrocious (returning to the OP..) - there's a fair bit of specualtion there and totes ignores the more admirable aspects of the person in question.

" Brat I don't particularly care if you think I am "unintelligent" - your comment says a lot about you."

well you obviously DO, or you wouldn't have mentioned it...
Your comments say an awful lot about you .
Stick to thoughtlessly bleating that you are not a feminist then.

A partner saying he wasn't a feminist, and forwarding and enjoying sexist jokes, would be a deal breaker for me.

Even if you can't detect this attitude in his behaviour now, it is there. In how he thinks about you. In how he thinks about your daughter. And how he will end up treating you both.

I think Lass is the sort of person who comes onto those threads where women share their negative experiences at the hands of men and implies that because it has never happened to her it has never happened

That is your spin. "Lived experience " seems only to matter if it validates the statement that all Precisely none of them have come anywhere near experiencing the disadvantages that women face every single day

That does not remotely represent my lived experience.

Brat I don't particularly care if you think I am "unintelligent" - your comment says a lot about you.

"There are issues that affect women and I get that, but I'm with lass on this, most women, especially middle class ones in the UK live a very pleasant life indeed and face little real hardship at all."

I heard this argument recently on anther forum "the ME and other areas need feminism, we in the West don't".

I don't get it, just because it may not be as big an issue as it used to be, or it is a bigger issue elsewhere, it should be ignored?

"Like, for example take young Amy. Obviously a well educated and intelligent young woman with a bright future ahead of her"

Who is well-educated at the age of 16?

Dervel

Amy is more than capable of robustly defending herself in my experience. How gentlemanly of you.

Pear you accused me of condescension on the other thread don't do it to Amy please. Someone can be middle class, eductated and black. That doesn't excuse or mitigate any racism they experience.

Is it possible that the very concept of sexism holds a subjective component? Some might experience this post as mansplaining whilst others may tolerate it, and yet others might welcome it. Who is right in this instance? My intention becomes secondary to the effect.

I would however strive to take ownership of my interactions with other people. In the same way I will reflexively say 'sorry' if myself and a stranger collide in the street. Irrespective about whose fault it is it's a recognition of another persons personhood, and very existance. Can there not be conversational equivilants?

The gold standard in human interactions are win/win outcomes. Feminism exists because too many interactions between men and women are win/lose with women losing out. With women losing because they are women.

Now obviously life is never fair at all times, but it can't be impossible to extract from the pile of win/lose interactions those that exist on account of sex. I guess what I am saying is that it's easier to argue from effect rather than intent.

Like, for example take young Amy. Obviously a well educated and intelligent young woman with a bright future ahead of her, goes to a selective school, already the recipient of a vast amount of privilege. But yet all I hear is the screaming injustices women face. There are issues that affect women and I get that, but I'm with lass on this, most women, especially middle class ones in the UK live a very pleasant life indeed and face little real hardship at all. Complaining that most of the men you've met in your life are annoying is fair enough but then I would say the same thing.

Those are champagne socialists, aren't they?

Anyway, I prefer feminist ally but I'm nit that bothered on names. Actions speak louder.

Sorry I wasn't suggesting that men couldn't benefit from a society more aligned with feminist thinking. What I'm getting it is that there isn't any other political movement which aims to shape society (maybe I am being too grand with that description) which excludes men or women.

e.g. could I say - you don't get to be a socialist because you haven't experienced genuine poverty ?

Which feminism is OK with being sexist?

I always wondered really whether 'feminism' was the right term anyway...rather 'feminisms' might be better as not every thing in feminism sees eye to eye. Perhaps you might discuss this with your DP OP as perhaps there is a strand of feminism that he feels uncomfortable with, which is hindering him being able to adjust to that particular label.

quite AnyFucker. I rest my case.

I think Lass is the sort of person who comes onto those threads where women share their negative experiences at the hands of men and implies that because it has never happened to her it has never happened

well honestly she doesnt sound too bright does she?

Brat

Lass is not unintelligent

Lass

Saying someone has disadvantages is a long way from saying someone is q victim.

" And that sort of thinking is why I am not a feminist , women as eternal victim"

Lass the only reason you can smugly say that you are not a feminist is because the work has already been done for you by eg the suffragettes. It is not about being a 'victim' it is about equality of opportunity.
You sound remarkably unintelligent as well as
dimly smug.

Lass it's not being "an eternal victim", it's true. I don't think of myself as a "victim" but can still recognise how much sexism women and girls face. Having talked about it a lot with my parents too my dad completely agrees, and thankfully would call himself a feminist - which is great as in his position in a still male dominated workplace he's very much able to have a positive influence.

Women and girls do face disadvantages and misogyny daily, to say that is just being honest.

Lol @ black humour being racist jokes about black people 😂

Even more Lols about Dave Chappelle being a racist comedian.

OP, people who forward sexist jokes are sexist.

It's not just that he's not a feminist, it's that he's a sexist man.

If wouldn't date a man who forwarded sexist jokes and only stopped because he knew you wouldn't like it, then you shouldn't date him.

I don't spend too much time agonising into how we can include men in feminism, tbh

Precisely none of them have come anywhere near experiencing the disadvantages that women face every single day

And that sort of thinking is why I am not a feminist. Woman as eternal victim.

Yy dervel.

Both DH and I put in a flexible working request after our first child. We were a bit too early for shared parental leave but he would have loved to do that.

I can think of loads of ways feminism has either benefited me or could benefit me in the future.

• Without the challenging of gender roles thus far I would have been unlikely to have enjoyed being as hands on a father as I am.
• Whilst in lots of ways I am traditionally masculine I very much like the aspects of myself that have been often described as girly or feminine. I have felt much more at liberty to pursue those aspects of my nature.

For the future if things continue to progress down this path:

• Once women are as safe in the public sphere as I am I will benefit from more healthy interactions. I'm a people person the fact that half the population have cause to be frightened of me is a barrier I could do without.
• If upon achieving something in life the knowledge it was 100% my own with no niggling doubts there was a system set up that eased my path to success.

There are more, but you get the idea.