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Original poster

Oxford schoolgirl abduction didn't happen, police suddenly announced

138 replies

Yunitsa · 11/11/2016 15:30

Help, fellow feminists...

I've written a bit on other threads about my daughter (same age) being hugely upset about this abduction and rape. She was cycling along the same street at the same time as it was meant to have happened. As a direct result I've had to go back to giving her lifts to and from school.

This is a name change because it was all just getting a bit close to home/potentially outing.

I've had texts from her already this afternoon... news of this press release must have broken at school. She's confused. The girl was raped but not abducted? Why did she say she was abducted? Is she in trouble? Have the police made a mistake?
And then just now:
Now the police won't believe the next girl who is abducted. Is that right?

And this is before she's seen any of the vitriol that has already begun on social media... schoolgirls should never be believed, apparently; it wasn't rape either, more than likely, she just changed her mind after a threesome. Envy - vomit.

Anyone got any words of wisdom? I have to pick her up shortly and I have no idea what to say. I'm really shaken by this. Though also, of course, kind of glad that the abduction didn't take place and that my daughter might start to feel safe to travel alone again.

link here

Frustratingly the press release on TVP's website is now showing as having an orator and not loading. (It was working an hour ago.) Like more confusion is needed here. Hmm

OP posts:
IAmAmy · 11/11/2016 16:07

Some of the reporting is irresponsible in my opinion in its tone. Main thing should still be supporting the girl.

slenderisthenight · 11/11/2016 16:05

I don't think the police have done wrong. Your anger is misplaced IMO.

FRETGNIKCUF · 11/11/2016 16:03

So she was raped by someone she knew and wanted to report it/get help but didn't want to out the rapist.

IAmAmy · 11/11/2016 16:00

I agree regarding the statement, I think it could have been worded so much better and they should have foreseen the kind of response from many on social media how they phrased it would get and how it would get reported. I know they have to do their best to reassure the community too but it's lead to reporting which to me is accusatory towards the girl who is 14 and has been through something horrific.

Goingtobeawesome · 11/11/2016 15:59

It doesn't read as you were speculating at all. It's clear you're asking for help in supporting your child.

Original poster
Yunitsa · 11/11/2016 15:54

Sorry I didn't mean it to look like I was asking for speculation. I'm not in any way. I'm angry that the police statement is leading to so much speculation on social media (and in the corner shop I was just in) and need to work out how to help my daughter to traverse it all.

I am very proud of my daughter and her friends for listening to their school's advice not to gossip in person or on social media and I have endeavoured to do the same myself.

OP posts:
Goingtobeawesome · 11/11/2016 15:46

If it wasn't as it first appeared I would say that it sounds like the girl got into a scary situation and she needs support. I'd ask her if she wanted to carry on the lifts and go from there.

Jackie0 · 11/11/2016 15:44

She is 14 so regardless if she is calling it rape it is a crime.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 11/11/2016 15:43

There were some pretty strong reports at the time that she'd arranged to meet them online but didn't want to go through with what they'd planned, once she met up with them. That may well still be true.

Whilst I wouldn't advocate lying to your daughter, I'd reassure her that all abductions are taken seriously. This one was, even after the fake child abduction bike one before, for example. It sounds like she's struggling with this and needs some reassurance. I'd reiterate keeping your wits about you whilst out and about, and internet safety just incase.

IAmAmy · 11/11/2016 15:42

My initial reactions to this development were similar to yours, confusion and also I admit slight relief the abduction didn't happen as I found that so utterly chilling and I've not stopped thinking about it since. I think it's important the girl continues to be supported and that includes by the local community as well as by the police. I think the way it's being reported is irresponsible and it doesn't surprise me vitriol is being directed towards her on social media, sickening though. This is still a 14 year old girl who the evidence must show has been raped, who set off for school as normal one morning and was found hugely distressed 4 hours later. Maybe she blamed herself for it or the situation she was in which lead to the version of what happened before. I'm confused too but the girl is still at the forefront of my thoughts.

MrsJayy · 11/11/2016 15:40

Might have* sorry

MrsJayy · 11/11/2016 15:39

So this girl met a male then made up a story supposedly not to get in trouble or somebody the male told her to lie . I would just say to your own Dd that you are not sure whats going on or what happened with the girl but she must have been quite frightened if she made it all up. Sounds like the girl might have got herself into a situation she couldnt handle they are more than likely continuing the rape investigation because she was raped poor kid.

Gardencentregroupie · 11/11/2016 15:35

I think it's very unhelpful for any ongoing investigation to speculate on what may have happened and people's thought processes, but Thames Valley Police must be very certain the abduction element didn't happen to make a public statement saying so.

I can't believe it will mean any future reports of abduction won't be thoroughly investigated.

I hope your DD starts to feel able to travel again Flowers