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Original poster

Why do girls let the boys get away with it?

339 replies

Weneedarevolution · 10/11/2016 18:33

My DS is doing A levels. In geography they have been put in a group of boys and girls - 5 students I think. They have to complete a project. The girls have organised and allocated th work, my DS has minimal work to do. He is GOOD at geography his input would help the girls. He is quite happy to let this happen as he can benefit from their efforts while getting on with other work.

His argument is that if they had asked him he would have gladly helped but they organised it and he just agreed. I really believe if the girls asked he and his friends would do the work to a high standard.

This has happened through out his school career, he and his friends almost expect it now.

So who is to blame the girls for not asking or the boys for letting it happen?

OP posts:
BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 10/11/2016 18:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IAmAmy · 10/11/2016 18:50

"Why should they be proactive?" Because they want to learn and stretch themselves? Because they're at an age where they should be studying subjects as they inspire them and they have interest in studying them at a higher level? Because they shouldn't be content with jumping on the back of the girls' hard work and taking credit for it? If they're so baffled about the girls not asking them to do more (probably because the girls are too busy actually doing the work) then they could very easily and in a friendly manner ask to be given more to do.

PerspicaciaTick · 10/11/2016 18:49

So the girls are responsible for your DS' passivity?
Perhaps the girls have learned through bitter experience that if they want work done it is quicker and simpler to do it themselves than argue with a blank wall of male indifference.

SoHairyAndForeverSpartacus · 10/11/2016 18:49

It sounds like your DS and his friends are very happy with this arrangement. Of course they would be! They're getting work done for them rather than properly contributing.

The girls have probably realised that they'll learn more and get better results if they do the work themselves, rather than putting in minimal effort and letting the group carry them. The boys should try it!

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 10/11/2016 18:48

A. Did the girls offer to organise it?
B. Did they take it upon themselves to organise it?
C. Did they organise it out of exasperation because the boys weren't bothering?
D. Did the boys ask them to organise it?

A or B - girls fault.
C or D - boys fault.

Original poster
Weneedarevolution · 10/11/2016 18:47

The boys have learnt they can have their cake and eat it.

Why should they be proactive? The project is done and they have got other work done as well.

My DS and his friends are baffled as to why the girls don't just ask them to do more.

OP posts:
BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 10/11/2016 18:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RiverTam · 10/11/2016 18:46

He's passively waiting to be asked. What a pity these girls have had to learn at such a young age that the only way to get a male to be involved is to ask them, rather than the boys involving themselves.

And why havent you made that point to him?

SpeakNoWords · 10/11/2016 18:45

Does he not think the teacher will notice that he's contributed minimally and mark him accordingly? Is he at all concerned about that? I'm surprised he doesn't want to get involved more to show off what he knows/can do.

So in conclusion, it's his fault. The girls are simply protecting themselves and doing what they've been socialised to do which is to compensate and be better than the boys just to be seen as equal.

IAmAmy · 10/11/2016 18:44

Only the boys could be responsible. It's not girls' responsibility to tell boys of our own age (I'm 16) to do their work. If the girls can do it, so can the boys. He could nicely ask if he could be given something else to do towards the project as he feels he's not being stretched enough by what they've allocated, if that's the issue.

SoHairyAndForeverSpartacus · 10/11/2016 18:43

Why aren't the boys being more proactive? Why are they waiting for the girls to ask them? What have they actually learned about teamwork?

Shallishanti · 10/11/2016 18:41

the girls have maybe learnt that it's easier to just get on with it than to have to chivvy the boys

ByeByeLilSebastian · 10/11/2016 18:38

I'm just going to type that again.

  • It's not down to the girls to shivvy the boys along.
ByeByeLilSebastian · 10/11/2016 18:37

The boys imo.
It'd down to the girls to shivvy the boys alone. They are doing what was asked of them but the boys aren't.