Why do girls let the boys get away with it?

It's a total cop out. Revision is always helpful. He can consolidate his knowledge by explaining it to others. Why doesn't he want to show off what he knows? Why doesn't he want to just muck in and get involved? He sounds arrogant and unpleasant (he may not be, but that's how what you've described is coming across), and I would be very disappointed.

We had group projects at bloody degree level. I was one of 3 women in a 100 student course, so obviously, worked with the men.

I was either entirely ignored, and had to force my way into the project, or, for my final year project, I organised, wrote all the code, and he barely bothered to do anything. I produced 2 inches thick code and documentation, plus demo software he turned up with an un-working piece of circuitry and a few notes - despite, in other ways, being just as good a student if you looked at his grades.

What he wasn't used to was having to proactively work for himself, unlike me, who was used to working and pushing myself forward to get anywhere.

You're doing your son no favours by excusing this behaviour.

IAmAmy - No, it's blaming the person who has willingly (and often forcefully) taken on the role regardless of their sex. If someone chooses to take on the role of supervisor and divides up the tasks then that's their look out.

" He will not really benefit from doing the work the girls may well benefit greatly."

Maybe they expect him to say that and therefore do nothing. Has he said that sort of thing before?

First you said your son and the other boys benefit from the girls' doing all the work, now the silly struggling girls are in his group to benefit from him as he's coasting along to an A? Curious.

"posters assume the girls are getting better grades."

I said maybe. I didn't assume.

So if he's better, if he can help them they why on earth isn't he? Because he sees no benefit to him?

He may be academically smarter but he doesn't sound very intelligent. Or nice.

I pity the woman who ends up married to him, if he carries on like this.

Why should he be proactive? Because he's not a lazy arse who's happy to skive off the back of other people's work?

Tell him to stop being so fucking lazy, and pull his pathetic finger out and be active. Right now he sounds like a passenger, a waste of space, contributing nothing, take credit that isn't his. All pretty unpleasant things to be, I would have thought.

Girls tend to do better in coursework than boys, because girls tend not to be lazy loafers.

The girls may not have asked more of your DS because they have learned the hard way from years of group work and have given up trying.

Your DS is a lazy loafer and shouldn't need a bunch of girls to motivate him to do more than the minimum.

He is quite happy to let this happen as he can benefit from their efforts while getting on with other work.

And you still have to wonder whether the girls are to blame?

Oh my word, stop blaming girls for your son not doing the work. If his grades are apparently so much better then why doesn't he help by giving his input? You're blaming girls who are the same age at the same school as your son for him and the other boys not bothering to work.

Have you spoken to your ds about what life is like when you leave school?

Sure you may be able to coast along, but you won't get any of the promotions or pay rises without putting the effort in.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks so you're blaming girls for dividing tasks when the boys could easily have given their input and asked perfectly nicely to do a bit more? Why am I not surprised that girls from a young age are already blamed for the failures of boys. Good early life lesson I suppose.

"The boys have learned that the world rewards them for exploiting women. And that the women themselves will be blamed for not preventing males from exploiting them. "

Absofuckinglutely.

Having watch a group of children organise a project, the girls were very much to blame for the division of tasks. It was made very clear to the boys that they were to do what they'd been told to do!

Maybe they think they are better at geography than him!

I would've bloody ashamed if that were my son

Thank you BuffytheReasonableFeminist! A reasonable feminist is what I strive to be, I think I only have half that reputation amongst boys I know fir the time being

Group work is always unfair. I have 3 kids
Ds1 is intelligent but does not stand up to alpha characters in the group. He does the work that the alpha character assigns him and no more. He does not care at all that he's not doing his fair share.
Dd is a perfectionist and worries that the other people in the group do not care as much as her. She will do more than her share. She prefers that the weakest link in the group does not lower her grade so she will seethe but work hard.
Ds2 has his head in the clouds. He's creative so will be handy in some group tasks but generally he will allow the others in the group to do the work. He will work if asked, but wouldn't volunteer.

How would you feel if this wasn't about your son and schoolwork but about your partner and housework ?

Would you still question why should he be more proactive ?

MilkTwoSugarsThanks I disagree. None of those are the girls' fault. To even say "A" and "B" are is blaming girls for the failure of the boys to do their fair share.