Why do girls let the boys get away with it?

Do you simply not see why girls should not have to endlessly, repeatedly chivvy boys, and later men, along to do anything? Obviously not as you do this yourself.

If I were you and he didn't repeatedly do his chores without being asked there would be consequences, no phone, wifi disconnected, whatever. He knows what his chores are.

You are the one teaching him this! Why? Why do you put up with it?

Surely empowering women is about encouraging them to challenge weak/lazy/stupid male behaviour.

You're still putting the responsibility for the shortcomings of men onto women to resolve.

You're presenting it very dispassionately . How are you helping him and his peers to do things differently?

His argument is that if they had asked him he would have gladly helped

You see this every day on here regarding household chores/childcare from women.

It doesn't make him a better person that he's happy to shirk unless he's specifically asked/nagged into doing what is fair.

But it's helpful to see a live example of how boys are being raised to become these men who leave their wives and partners so stressed, unsupported and upset.

Not read whole thread but collaboration and capacity building is a great skill. And he will get on better in any relationship if he is willing to roll up his sleeves and do his fair share. All it takes for evil to flourish is for good men to stand by and do nothing. Ask him why he is afraid to offer to do his fair share? Does he want to live in an unjust world? It won't benefit him in the long run emotionally.

I find it interesting that the whole thing has been framed as girls v boys. It isn't necessary for the discussion. "The other group members" would have done surely?

Maybe lots of us aren't feeling to kindly towards males who are happy to exploit females right now.

You posted in Feminist Chat, you must have know you/your DSwere going to get short shrift.

I am trying to help him grow into a reasonable man by challenging the assumption's he and his peer group have.

Well you could start by changing your attitude from asking why the girls "let" the boys take the piss and start asking why the boys take the piss. Stop making girls responsible for your son's behaviour.

"the self appointed organiser don't you have some responsibility to then follow through and do the difficult task of getting people to work?"

No, not in a group of "equals" - no one is the boss here.

Fairness is logical. He likes equations - he should be doing 20% of the work.

I don't know how you'll be able to persuade him tbh if he doesn't care how he's perceived by his classmates and the teacher, or indeed you! Is he selfish in other areas of his life?

Maybe in a group with girls they know they are superior and so have nothing to prove? And in an all male group all their testosterone gets put under threat?

He really should watch himself. There will come a time when his group mates won't carry him and they won't warn him either that they are leaving his name off the project and explaining to the teacher/tutor why. Plus he's going to flounder the first time he finds himself actually having to direct himself For a project because everyone else has his attitude of "someone else will do it".

And interestingly, if you put a group of boys together they do work. It's only when you put them in a group with girls that they lean back and admire the scenery.

Again, in many group projects, I could have let myself be ignored, but I forced myself forward.

Your son could, and should have done the same - where was he when 'the girls' were allocating tasks? Why wasn't he involving himself in the conversation - taking tasks, volunteering rather than sitting back and waiting to be allocated?

How do we know that it wasn't a group discussion that he couldn't be bothered to get involved with, so they allocated tasks according to involvement? Sounds pretty damn sensible to me if that's what they did!

I think some of these replies are unfair.

Is the OP's son supposed to argue with the girls about the division of labour? Maybe he offered gently and has no inclination to insist he does more? My son is 15 and he is under the misguided notion that arguing with a girl will be seen as sexist or bullying unlike arguing with a boy of the same age. He'd rather die than ask a teacher to intervene in this kind of quandry and would prefer to shut up and do the work as quickly as he could.

I do wonder if it's situation like this that contributes to girls doing better than boys academically. Does anyone benefit from group work apart from the teacher who gets less marking? Group work is a good skill to have for the world of work but in my experience, the bossy ones will always try to dominate while the quiet ones clam up and do what they are told by the others. My kids' role in groups has been the same from Reception. (they are now teens)

You are contradicting yourself op. You say he is smarter and doesn't need to revise, but the girls are not as smart and need the project to revise. Why would you have a problem with with them doing the work to get their grades up?

I have four teens here. In all curcumstances, the girls find it much harder to work in mixed sex groups, because the boys shirk their responsibilities, turn up late or not at all to group sessions, and put in the minimal effort. The boys sit back and let the girls do all the work. When the girls have the temerity to complain (either to the boys themselves or to the teachers) they get a shrug or some bollocks about learning to get along with people as it will be beneficial in the real world.
By 16, the girls have all learned through experience that frankly it is far easier to just do the fucking work yourself instead of trying to get a boy to do it. If there us nothing in it personally for the boy, they just don't do the work. I have a gifted boy here too. It doesn't mean a thing. Being gifted doesn't mean you aren't a lazy shite with no group ethics. Not mutually exclusive.

Have you tried addressing it along the lines of fairness?

All five people should be sharing the work fairly. That's not happening.

He just can't get his head around why the girls choose to allocate him a small amount of easy work. It is illogical.

Maybe because they knew he was a lazy bum who wouldn't put any effort into anything that didn't directly benefit him.

You've clarified the issue, though - this is your attitude shining through and through. You think that girls taking control are bossy. Dear god.