Annoyed about this birth announcement

I'm on the fence, perhaps inclined to think it's ok. When my friend was in labour, her husband fainted. He had a rough time as well, he was clearly traumatised.

I have been reading The Goblin Emperor recently, a fantasy book wherein people refer to themselves as "we" in the formal speech.

Now I imagine this dialogue:

Guy: "We went into labour ..."
Me: "We did not know you were pregnant. It must have been quite the surprise to you too! Congratulations! Also, how is your wife? Isn't she due to give birth soon?"

Gardencentre your post made me cry laughing! 😂

My DH was a SAHP. I started a small business when my first DC was tiny, and it became a modest success. I would never have done so without his constant support and encouragement. He had been a sound engineer, a job with the sole purpose of making other people look and sound good. He brought that spirit into our marriage.

When the business was bringing in enough money he resigned his job and took over the bulk of the domestic stuff. He did well over half. He was very proud the day he handed in his resignation: told his bastard boss that he was going to be kept by his wife.. His job was dull and badly paid. I loved mine, so it made perfect sense. He would tell people how brilliant I was.

I was lucky. He was a very good husband. Sadly he died at home of cancer when our DC were still at primary school but I had 17 years with him.

I can also pretty much guarantee that the dad in the OP is not sharing maternity leave, such as it is in the US. He may have a bit of paternity leave, but it likely isn't much.

I doubt he was glory seeking...I think he meant it as him and his wife shared it together. Your reading too much into it...

You know lots of men who do 50% of parenting ? Like the nights feeds , taking time off work when your child is sick, being a SAHP and losing your career or going part time? cleaning up the vomit?

Really ?

How much parental leave did your partner take ? Do you both work the same hours now ? Who earns more, you or him?

My kids are in a school of 150 kids and I can tell you there's aren't 75 dads at the school gate each day . Or at all the school events . Or helping out in the classroom . Guess how many dads have texted or phoned me to arrange play dates / parties etc for my children ( in 22 years of parenting ) ?

Mind did and constantly does, so do lots of other men.
Don't like the sound of the men you know.

They are so involved and equal, share maternity leave, 50% of everything

In what universe woudl that be ? I've yet to meet that father that does 50% of the shitty bits of parenting.

OTOH I know a lot of men who talk about how great they are because they take 25% of the nice bits of parenting and 100% of the glory ( like the OPs colleague )

Ask him how his lochia is.

Oh I don't thjnk it's that bad! Maybe a little cringe but he was excited! After all "we have just had a baby" is fine, it is both of their baby!

Well I would still prefer to offer ice cubes and rub DHs back than give birth ever again. And if I could get credit for giving birth too? Fabulous!

And we seem to be adopting so much of the schmaltzy American stuff to do with pregnancy and birth

I'm pretty sure that the man referred to in *KickAss's post is American, but I really don't think it's necessary to turn this thread into yet another MN American-bashing thread.

I dunno, I can see why men say this these days.
They are so involved and equal, share maternity leave, 50% of everything.
Maybe he had a bit of tummy ache
I laugh when i hear the "we" comments, but see how we have got here, tbh.

Wonder if he also has unresolved anger issues because 'their' birth plan didn't work out to.the.letter.

Anything that gives men a share of the glory of pregnancy / childbirth, really winds me up. I can't stand it when they use the term "we". I also can't stand it when people pat men on the back (after their wife/partner has given birth) and say stuff like "well done" to them. Well done??? For what? Having a shag? What on earth have they done to merit praise? For the same reason I hate the tradition of men "wetting the baby's head" - loads of other men buying the father drinks to show how well he's done, while the baby's mum doesn't get a look in!!!

ball sac every time she had a contraction and they did an episiotomy on his arsehole.

Exactly!!! 😡😡

Depends whether you are a team or not. If he was thinking they were in a team he would have given credit where credit was due. Because that's what team mates do. Being part of a team does not involve hijacking someone else's hard work and pain as your own.

He's sounds like one of those blokes where it has to be all about him tbh and your description of him outside this incident doesn't belie that, KickAss.

I was unlucky with my NCT group in a number of ways. One of them was when a couple came in to share their experience of birth and the bloke did absolutely all the talking. And he wasn't telling us about what "she" did, it was "we" this and "we" that all the way through.

My DH was so, so angry. Kept spluttering "wanker" all the way home. He never forgot who was having the baby I'm glad to say.

18 years ago when i was pregnant with our first child my (now ex) husband came to the doctor with me and said "we are pregnant". I felt really uncomfortable with it, but the female doctor loved it and went on about how it was a pleasure to see a man so involved in the whole process.

My husband is now my ex because he was super controlling. He controlled what I ate while pregnant and how i gave birth then went on to control the children. I wish i had taken note of that one word "we" because it meant he felt he owned that baby and me.

ARGH that is a million times worse than we are pregnant, unless he was kicked in the ball sac every time she had a contraction and they did an episiotomy on his arsehole.

This is now going down as one of my favourite quotes on MN. Brilliant.

Depends whether you are a team or not.

It's a very American thing and very annoying.

And we seem to be adopting so much of the schmaltzy American stuff to do with pregnancy and birth - baby showers, gender reveals (my friend did the fucking cake thing) etc. I find it all a bit bleurgh.

Ugh! I am so with you! WE are pregnant- wow! Really? Both of you at the same time??? You should call the press - you could sell your story for thousands!!

I'm probably just bitter and jaded as I hated being pregnant- never had the wonderful glow etc - just the aches and pains and moods.

Oh cringe do men really say this? Reminiscent of We are a Grandmother. Garden v amooosing. Hope when his wife describes it, she calls it 'Our ball sac'