Annoyed about this birth announcement

"Wicked, I don't think your mum made that baby so it's ver different."

Neither did dp though. Provided some of the ingredients, but I definitely did all the cooking iyswim lol.

"I remembe rRrobin William's saying that his wife told him he could only talk about "Our Labour" when he had had an umbrella opened up his arse and knew what he was talking about!!"
^Hahaha, this.

Most of the really engaged dads I know when announcing the arrival of their baby immediately talked about how the mum's labour went, and how proud they were of them. It doesn't take anything away from fatherhood, or make mothers into martyrs to acknowledge that labour is uniquely female. Other people can (and should) support the labouring woman, but the experience is only hers.

Oh and if dh could have done the pregnancy and birth part of parenting we might well have more children. For me both were mostly things to be endured rather than celebrated. He has been a great and very hands on father (more than me) but when it comes down to it he is a man, and men cannot by nature of their biology bear young.

As it happened, my mum was with me for more of my labour than DH, so perhaps she should have talked about "our labour". No?

Of course not! because neither she nor DH are so ego centric that they can't put themselves to one side and say "Olenna's had a baby, her labour went really well and she was great"

Now you mention it Almond , the woman's mother was technically part of labour too. Because she grew the egg that conceived the baby, it was in her uterus while she carried her daughter.

So maybe she should be part of the whole " I've just had a baby " glory seeking game.

The idea that people who don't think shagging is part of labour are getting hung up on a technicality is one of the funniest things I've read on MN.

In the nick, is it insisting on being literal to say that labour begins when contractions start?!

I have only ever heard anyone mention labour when they're referring to, well, labour. Nobody ever uses labour to mean conception or pregnancy more broadly.

If I were in the middle of having sex with DH and I started proclaiming that I or we had gone into labour, he wouldn't think oh, almond has a very relaxed attitude to using words literally, he'd just think I was completely and utterly mental.

I remembe rRrobin William's saying that his wife told him he could only talk about "Our Labour" when he had had an umbrella opened up his arse and knew what he was talking about!!

Anyway, it would be the same if it was a female partner talking about her pregnant partner. It's got nothing to do with the penis, it's the fact that HE IS NOT IN LABOUR!!!!

Why do women hate men so much? If they don't get involved there are shit on and shit on when they are involved, just because the man doesn't go through labour doesn't mean he didn't experiance it he just did a bit differently. I love when men say we are pregnant my partner did and I got butterflies every time. Maybe I'm just sad though.

^

Sorry can't do bold

What are you on about?

But he wasn't pregnant, you were. When you were pregnant did you say "we are pregnant"? I guess not, you'd say "I'm pregnant".

Hating men blah blah is just bull.

Why do women hate men so much?

Errr they don't. They just dislike certain types of behaviour.

garden
Brilliant!!!

Wicked, I don't think your mum made that baby so it's ver different.

It all depends on how literal you insist on being. If you are talking about going into labour as contractions starting etc then it's solely about the mum. If you are talking more generally about 'the start of the babys arrival' in a more abstract WA then it's about the mum, the dad and the baby.

But let's see if we can pick this apart a bit more, I'm sure there's some technicality someone hasn't though of to get at someone else yet.....

Why do women hate men so much?

Well that escalated quickly

me*

My mum was with my when I was in labour (dp and mil were downstairs in the lobby). If she had ran around telling people about when "we" were in labour, she'd have gotten some strange looks.

It's not hateful to expect support during childbirth, and for that support to include the acknowledgement that the mother is the one who goes through labour and birth.

I've never heard anyone who hasn't been through labour say they have. It isn't something most fathers would say.

Why do women hate men so much? If they don't get involved there are shit on and shit on when they are involved, just because the man doesn't go through labour doesn't mean he didn't experiance it he just did a bit differently. I love when men say we are pregnant my partner did and I got butterflies every time. Maybe I'm just sad though.

'We' can be expecting/having a baby. 'We' do not get pregnant and 'we' do not go into labour or experience labour.
What a dick!

I've given birth twice, had 2 lots of quite major surgery (c-section and 3rd degree tear). I've never been in hospital or required surgery for anything else.

You're right, Yonic. If people ask if I've ever been hospitalised or had surgery, I think: No, I haven't. I forget about those experiences because they were all about the baby, and not about the surgery.

Totally agree with OP!
They didn't go into labour, nor were they ever pregnant. It's just wrong.

What's wrong with saying "X is pregnant / WE are expecting"

I think that poster's posts are consistently disingenuous on various threads today, almond.

What a weird comment about Sandy Tosvig.

Of course not everyone who has children is raising a child that is biologically theirs. Who would think otherwise?

That has nothing to do with this thread,

Yes. It's a somewhat medieval process that fairly often comes with long recovery, long term problems, etc. And it's not like an illness where you go in, get it fixed, job done. You're giving birth for the both of you. So it's not about 'oh he was excited/ he went through stuff too' because in reality there is no option, man and woman make baby, but only woman gives birth to it and is ultimately the one left with any long term illness if it arises.

Thanks mozfan!

The strange thing about labour, IMO, is that it is minimised. Of course everyone wants to see the baby. But anything else that kept you in hospital, involved pain and exhaustion, blood loss and stitching, would get concern and acknowledgement from friends and family.

I don't mean anyone was dismissive of me or anything, but it was just not taken into account. The "pregnancy is not an illness" narrative misses the fact that sometimes it comes with medical issues!