Anyone know of any stats on name changing after marriage?

My fil's party piece was a song called "Lily Macnally-McNair, the Pride of the Clyde and the Liffey"

Completely irrelevant apart from the hyphen. It just popped into my head when someone was talking about Mc names.

Actually Hillary as somewhat of an aside, it is still common practice here to distinguish between people with the same surnames where the family name originates using their father and grandfather. So for example Michael John Tom may have the same surname as 10 other Michaels in the area but John and Tom are the father and grandfather. The girls are similarly distinguished via their fathers. Luckily since the advent of younique naming it is less prevalent for our children's generation but it is still widely used to name people locally in this generation. I guess that makes us feel more connected to the origin of surnames than say the like of Cooper and the other examples you are giving.

Some surnames come from place names. Are they also "male imposed"?

Imposed?

But you don't feel your parents' choice of first name was imposed?

Facebook only shows you part of what people are doing though. I changed my name personally and legally - so have changed it on Facebook. Professionally, I still use my maiden name though - and that's what you'd see on LinkedIn.

We did consider double barelling but our surnames were too long, and we also looked at combining our surnames to male a new name but couldn't come up with anything sensible from our 2 names. The only option we didn't discuss was both of us taking my surname, I guess because I didn't feel strongly enough about taking his name to suggest going against tradition that way.

Instead I've added my maiden name as a middle name, and our children will all have my maiden name as one of their middle names too. It works for us, I liked having the same surname as DH before we had kids, and now we have DS would hate to have a different surname to him. DH did agree to add my maiden name as a middle name too but I have to admit we haven't got round to it....

I think they might feel like it was their name but the name itself will have been imposed on them by a male.

So once upon a time someone in your family tree was son of a Donald and someone in his of a Dougal, say?

Presumably said Dougals and Donalds are long dead, as were the blacksmiths and barrel makers who gave rise to Smith and Cooper?

How do such ancestors make a woman's surname not hers?

I don't know anyone who hadn't inherited a family name from a male ancestor. That's what I mean DoinIt. Unless they are a child from a newly invented name relationship.

All of our family names have been decided by men unless we choose new ones.

All of whose? That is so obviously untrue I don't now why anyone would bother typing it.

My surname and my husband's both start with a Mc (mac the Irish for son of) so there is an immediate connotation back up to the father. The female version of mac is nic which means daughter of has been dropped in English. Do I see my husband's name relating to his father's yes absolutely.

Good point Kidnapped.

I never feel like my DH surname. In fact with his family I often point out that I am not a ---- . Not in an unkind way, just when they try to feed me huge portions. Unfortunately I did not get my in laws metabolism when I married in.

And the only way that stops is women deciding to keep and pass on their names.

Do you feel your husband's surname is "his" ?

Incidentally, Brewster is an example of a name that came from a female who made beer; not all names from the dawn of time have come from men.

It is this internalised notion that women's identities come from their father which must be transferred to their husband on marriage.

Whereas men have their own identities which are never ever subsumed into someone else's.

If I have two children called Laura and Peter Jones then Laura's surname comes from her father so she might as well change it when she gets married. Peter's surname comes from his father also so but this time, because of the presence of a penis, it is actually Peter's real surname and he should not change.

There is no logic to it.

Yes they chose my first name so that's mine. Happy with that. All of our family names have been decided by men unless we choose new ones.

"How on earth is your family name more "your" name? "

Because it's the one you've had for 20-40 years before you marry?

Your parents chose your first name, don't you think of that as yours?

My birth certificate name is not my name!! I don't have "my" name.

Do men own all surnames? At what point does a woman have her own surname? At what point does a man have his own surname?

If he only got it from his dad then it isn't really his either, surely? And if it isn't really his then surely he should be happy to give it up for his future wife's name?

The solution to not wanting your father's surname because of its patriarchal connotations cannot be to take your husband's name and use it for your childre.

If your birth name offends you because it is a man's name, you are free to change it at any point.

I can quite see why you might choose to.

But if you wait until you get married, and then coincidentally just happen to want to change it to your husband's name, then I am calling bullshit.

How on earth is your family name more "your" name

Oh for goodness sake, head meet brick wall. How on earth is the name on your birth certificate not your name?

If it's so vitally important that all the family have the same name what happens when a name changer with children divorces and remarries?

If you take new husband's surname then presumably the children of the first marriage have a different surname? Or do you keep your former surname?

I'm with you my2cents. If it's sexist to take your husband's, it's sexist to keep your dad's. How on earth is your family name more "your" name? Do what you like, but unless you invent a new name you are perpetuating the issue you are worried about.
I changed to DH name when DS was born. Still use both. Am not worried about my feminist credentials in any way and certainly will not criticise anyone for doing a patriarchal name swap.

Doing my surname came from my father, this is the absolute definition of patriarchy to me. Being recognised as being my father's daughter by his surname. This thread is highlighting how we have not all moved on from taking on our husband's name to some perceived better scenario where we hold onto our father's name. It is just another part of the same coin to me.

Because it's daughters that are still in the position of having to make a surname choice!

How is that?

Are you saying that men get no say in how their children are named?

That they have no option to change their own names upon marriage?

You describe a decision that was made by you and your husband.

But you think this is only an issue for daughters?

Your desperation to discard your birth name and brook no possibility of anything other than being branded fully as wife was your choice.

This thread is about how shit it is that so many women are making such a sexist choice.

Even when some of them are marrying men who have less sexist views, such as yourself.

Sorry- hadn'5 read the thread properly- all that's been said.

Maybe they just want to. Because they are proud to be married to that person?

I didn't change my name. Seems a strange thing to do.Worth it just to piss my MIL off.