woman loses residency of son she was raising as daughter

What do you think about their actions in this case, Bonny?

I don't understand the mentality of standing by an organisation on the basis that you had a good experience with them.

I stand by Mermaids. The charity was hugely supportive to me and my trans-daughter (now aged 19). Through Mermaids and the NHS I have met dozens of parents with gender non-conforming children. None of us would wish gender dysphoria for our children but we have to face reality.

I can understand them taking the mother at her word at the time. What I cannot understand is the continual insistence (even after reading the judgement, as they have claimed to do) that they were right and the judge, and the professionals involved, and even the Tavistock were wrong. That this 'poor child' is now being 'forced' to live as a boy. And so on.

I'm with you on this one. Afaik the father is totally fine with the child exploring gender if and when required.

That's really good to hear!! I can only imagine how upsetting and frustrating it must have been to get no support x

Thank you Gidds, that's very kind of you. He's doing a lot better nowadays

Lyndanotlinda - in my case, we were seen urgently by CAHMS because of my child being suicidal. It was during her first session she disclosed she wanted to be a boy, but they were already taking her suicidal thoughts seriously. I'm really sorry to read that they didn't in your child's case

I missed that bit too. And thanks for understanding my fat fingers!

Thanks Lynda

I've watched my DCs play minecraft, I must have missed the bit where Steve killed himself...

In my experience, CAMHS don't take suicidal ideation very seriously. They told me they thought my DS threats to jill himself was because he was playing too much Minecraft

Perhaps if you tell them your child is also struggling with gender stereotypes, they're a bit more sympathetic?

I haven't experienced a striking similarity in coming out stories from LGB people actually, and I've been knocking around the scenes for decades.

The are strong similarities from kids who you'd be surprised would have the capacity to understand in terms of "born in wrong body", stories of boys trying to cut their penis off with scissors (as another poster said always get found in the nick of time) and crying with relief when they hear about transition

Just an observation

Hermione I don't think the replies are scripted, after all it is quite a niche area so you might expect parents to have quite similar experiences.

What surprised me was how accepting and unquestioning all of the account are. There seems to be a certain lack of a gender critical approach, or indeed any approach which does not equal pink brain in blue body.

No, that's what what's meant, Gidds. If you read about or watch so many of these trans children stories, they all seem to start with child playing with toys associated with opposite sex. No-one is saying that this is how it starts with all cases, but this is what's being portrayed and no-one, least of all Mermaids or the BBC, are challenging that. It's unhelpful at best, damaging at worst, for everyone.

HermonieWeasley - yeah scripted like when a person reveals they are gay, being as the way they "come out" is strikingly similar 🙄

Beyondreasonablydoubts - in our case, we are still on "suicide watch" with our child, but are looking into other avenues to which are causing her unhappiness and confusion about her gender

How do cahms advise on suicidal ideation usually?

The stories from parents about their "trans" kids are startlingly similar. Almost like there's a script they're being coached on..,

oh I don't know, my DD told me around that age that she thought my tummy made a mistake and she should have been a boy....no god in our household so the humans have to be held responsible for the errors .

I asked her why she thought she should have been a boy and she told me she really wanted to marry her best friend. I told her girls can get married to each other if they want and that was the end of 'I should have been a boy'.

I suppose I could have encouraged her in her belief though...who knows where we would be now if I had praised her endlessly for being different and suggested she changed her name?

Taking your child for surgery/drugs that are illegal in one country should be prosecutable. I can't see why it's treated any different to FGM.

I was too ItsAll - it just screams homophobia to me.

I am also highly doubtful that as a four year old her child turned to her and said "Mummy, I need to tell you something. God's made a mistake and I should have been a girl"

Stephanie Davies-Arai stuck to the facts. Susie Green doesn't appear to have any facts to stick to

This^

I was also at her "diagnosing" her 18month old as gay

Having watched the Newsnight discussion, I can't understand how anyone would want Susie Green anywhere near their vulnerable children. She first noticed that her 18 month old baby wasn't how she expected a baby boy to be - what the actual fuck does that even mean? And so she just thought he'd grow up to be gay. Again, what the fuck? Only someone who rigidly believes and adheres to (damaging and negative) gender stereotypes would even think those things about a baby. And this is the child she took out of the UK to gain access to drugs that are illegal for under 18s and surgery that is also illegal for under 18s?

I wouldn't want this woman or any organisation she fronts to get within a country mile of my child.

Stephanie Davies-Arai stuck to the facts. Susie Green doesn't appear to have any facts to stick to.

Hanora50 says "Tubu goes on to discuss Susie Green and her daughter in detail and yes I know a lot of the information is public knowledge but is all of it?"

Please tell me where I said anything about Susie and her daughter which isn't freely available on the internet or shown on TV.

Yes there was a confidentiality policy and safeguarding policy when I left. I know because I was involved in updating them. Yes I agreed to abide by both and I have not breached either of them. What I said in my post about how parents were supported did not reference anyone in what they may have been advised.

As it is so clear that I didn't mention anyone by name in my post one could assume that Hanora50 feels what I said was directed at them or someone they know. Maybe they themselves were encouraged by Mermaids to pursue treatment I mentioned in that post.

The reason I did not stay and fight for what was right two and a half years ago was because certain member/s of the committee, (not Trustees as it was not a charity then), had decided I had to go because I had challenged them. They had dismissed my concerns (all of which have since turned out to be valid). The reason I have now started to support those looking closely at Mermaids is almost entirely because I, and those who backed me two and a half years ago have to all intents and purposes been exonerated of making false claims.

Also it is far easier to see what is going on once you are outside, looking from a distance. Piecing together all the recent events in the media has helped me to clarify in my mind exactly what was going on. That is why I have chosen to speak out now. The climate is right for Mermaids to be looked at more closely.

There is a lot more which I could say about what I saw going on in Mermaids but I am gagged by the confidentiality policy I signed.

This is a recognised medical condition, called dysphoria, for which my child has been receiving treatment from qualified Doctors,

This child didn't have dysphoria though Paula. He isn't trans.

Do you have any idea why mermaids are claiming he is?

Lynda that's interesting - their website obviously requires some updating one way or another

Oh okay. I thought it was referrals and that was what our CAHMS Councellors suggested yesterday