DH is 'glad' of verdict

That was lulu hits the nail on the head. What sort of man wants to have sex with a woman in these circumstances? Any man who even gets a lifter contemplating having sex with a barely conscious woman is a candidate for broadmoor. Yet the myth of unappeasable male sexuality normalises this behaviour. All so fucked up.

I have too, Cocoabutton. My daughter's travelling in India and has written about the constant attention and comments she's received (albeit non-threatening/sexual) from men. Then we have Trump trying to get into the White House and twats like Ched Evans and his supporters here. It's enough to make me cry.

I have been reflecting on this case on and off all day. I don't have words for how disturbing I find the outcome and many responses. It is easy for me to say as I am already single but I would not stay with someone who did not see the damage done to women here.

Your DH is an animal. You need rid.

I'm so sorry that your DH has let you down so badly, OP.

In other aspects of your life, does he display questionable attitudes towards women?

My husband and son (59 and 16, so wide variance in age group) both think it is disgusting and that he should be inside as the original sentence should have been much longer. Their shared view is that nobody has the right to have sex with anyone who is drunk unless consent is given in advance or can be reasonably inferred from a long loving relationship (although hubby thinks that even this is dubious as he wouldn't want to get his leg over with a woman so drunk she was incapable of speaking).

When chatting to an old friend on fb who supported the verdict, I mentioned the fact that if this were a female relative of his maybe he would feel different (he called the victim a slapper etc), he replied that he would be so embarrassed of her and ashamed of being 'spitroasted' by two men.

He has a daughter

I was
He had not been deleted

Yep, anyone who supports Ched Evans getting away with the rape he admitted to is someone who should be considered a danger to women and likely rapist.

No way would Inallow a man like that to share ny home and that of my daughters.

How men respond to this case in particular is a real eye-opener, actually. Because by his own admission, Ched Evans' behaviour was absolutely repulsive on so many levels. Ironically, The Sun's headline today nailed it: regardless of the jury's finding him not guilty, he is so clearly guilty of such amoral, entitled, misogynistic, abusive behaviour that most right-thinking people can clearly see him for what he is anyway.

And thus any man who thinks that there is anything to be celebrated here - where a man walks uninvited into a hotel room where two people are having sex, asks his mate if he can have a go, does so, leaves, all without ever speaking to the woman he is actually sticking his dick into, where his fiancee appears to have tried to bribe witnesses to change their story, where the complainant's sexual history is raked over in court - any man who thinks that this is a good day for any reason has serious, serious problems with women.

A male colleague shared the story on FB yesterday and commented something along the lines of support for CE. There were lots of likes (all men) including quite a few other colleagues.

It sickens me how the issue of consent is still not understood at all in 2016. These are men, in their 20's, future fathers and husbands and yet seemingly potential rapists...

I came on the thread to say you should drop this as its just not worth the argument about it: my DH is the most fantastic, gentle guy who treats me and our children amazingly. But he is quite black and white and was always a bit sceptical about this case because of the 'proving beyond reasonable doubt that he didn't have 'reasonable belief' in consent' bit. I did manage to convince him on a lot of it and that it wasn't just a 'normal weekend gone a bit awry' but he has never been 100% about it. However, it kind of goes without saying that he thinks evans is a total scumbag.

Reading the rest of the thread though, that is kind of worrying - he would actively applaud evans and condone identifying the victim? Wowzers.......

Yes Saucery

The OP may be willing to let this drop and ever speak of it again. But it's obvious he won't.

I can see him staring at the tv with a big grin on his face, turning it up slightly during the chanting and watching her reaction from the corner of his eye

There's other stuff going on ffs, not just a disagree,ent about the court case.

Smirking. Jesus.

But the husband may like to have faith in our justice system? How is that worth a divorce

Your opinions are not above those of the jury. They are opinions and leaving your husband over this is insane!

There are lines in the sand. If my dh came out with racist or misogynistic views that I didn't know he held I'd leave him. Some things can't be put down to a difference of opinion.

You could of course leave the unintelligent, hard-of-thinking bastard but he would still be your daughters father and play a part in raising them.

Poor you though and your poor daughters. If this is his stance on this issue, then I bet he's a delight in other areas too.

Yy enthusiasm. DH likes to wind me up on certain trans issues, but if we ever had a big clash in belief like that (especially as a rape victim) there would be no getting over it. :(

What he did was morally horrific but the law said there wasn't enough evidence to say he absolutely did rape her.

Fgs not all people in the whole of the population who are in support of the new verdict need hanging or character assassination.

Difference of opinion.

Your opinions are not above those of the jury. They are opinions and leaving your husband over this is insane!

I think unless you followed the case why would you think there is anything wrong with this new verdict? A little digging and one realises how awful it is, but I think it is unfair to say someone is being unreasonable when his conviction was overturned.

I would be absolutely devastated

As I am sure the person I was married to and have children with respected women

If though I had come to realise that this might not be the case he would have just confirmed this suspicion

That's really difficult for you op but I don't think people can't change they can they can be educated but need to be open to that

DH has been avoiding my wrath the details on the subject, but even from the far distance he says what ched did is cuntish. He and I are both football fans btw, and a know a good few who are just as angry.

Are you okay hex?

Sorry HexB

No point in asking what if:

What if it was him…duh a real man would never let 'that' happen to him (more proof that the patricty hurts men too) no believe in the freeze.

What if it was one of your daughters:
None of 'his' girls would get themselves in that position blah blah

Women are property, equally of no value/intelligence and yet responsible for all/any mans actions.

Chances are this is the same enviroment Cheds girlfriend was brought up in.

DP & I are equally disgusted by this.

Actually no, he's finally starting to have a glance in to what a fine line women are forced to walk. I'm resigned

The latest ugly thing is that in his terms his 'behaviour wasn't the best' that night. Like he's talking about a badly played football game when if he really was 'sorry to anyone for any ill effects of that evening' what he would say was my behaviour was beyond reprehensible & I hope no woman is treated that way again. There's no accountability from him

I am sorry OP, this is shite I would be devastated if my partner felt that way.

If it was me I think I'd have to say that I'd feel quite unsafe in a relationship w/ someone who feels consent = previously consented to sex + alcohol consumption.