DH is 'glad' of verdict

Fucking hell Grim, even for your normal posting habits, that's low.

It takes a special kind of cunt to post simply to be rude and dismissive to a woman sharing how she feels after being a victim of rape grimarse.

Lastgirl I know exactly what you mean.

Pink I really liked that article. It bothered me so much that men online seemed to identify with the rapist. I was losing my already-minute faith in men.

Until my DH came in from working a 14 hour shift to tell me straight away how disgusted he was at the verdict, how he hated Evans and how sick so many men made him feel. Then he went to sleep!!

If it were not for my Dad and DH, I feel I would loathe men. And I hate that feeling...like being so close to the precipice.

If Hex wants to talk some more, she knows where we are.

I haven't been on this thread for to long but I think one of you should pm her to see if she is okay.

Hex
Hope you're ok

I don't think he will go there again. If he does he will be stupid and she will look just as silly as him.

Actually, I think she has ensured that CE can NEVER leave her now. Imagine that vengeful partner story on the Tabloids!

Ched's gf admits she put his "cheating" in a box because the rape charge was so shocking it over rode everything and she felt protective over him. This stupid woman fought for him, potentially put herself in danger of bribery charges and had a baby with the pig. She's shown him she will forgive him if he cheats. This relationship is doomed.

That is a great article

Hex I don't know if you will look at this thread again but just in case, and for anyone else, someone linked this on another thread and I thought it was good.

roseandmumandmore.com/2016/10/17/ched-evans-the-mens-hero/

STFU, it was years ago - then... (whiny) can we please just have sex now? Pleeease (hands on you)

No, not really

What on earth is wrong with you? Do you not love me anymore?

Etc

Fab post by basil too
And AF

...and when you try to get some support from him about what happened to you in the light of recent news you get "STFU...it was years ago"

or words to that effect

women do not need to stay married to men like that

even if they otherwise come across as Pillars of The Fucking Community

What Het said.
In addition men: now imagine that if you tell anyone, all the people around you will assume you're at best over-reacting and misinterpreting this violation of your body (your attacker thought you wanted it and misread the signs) and at worst, you're lying about it because you're a crazy irrational arsehole who is intent on ruining the life of your attacker.

So you can't even tell anyone.

Now imagine living with that for years, teaching yourself not to flinch when the word rape is mentioned, hearing other men having theoretical conversations about whether men who did what you did, let a friend into their home, were asking for it, sometimes making quips about the subject or slyly darting you glances when you get too angry about the way the subject is turning, so after a few years you stop expressing your discomfort with they way they talk about it. Maybe falling in love with someone who ten years after you first met him, expresses the opinion that men who complain about what happened to you, are the reason other men who get attacked can't get justice. And knowing that you can't tell him what happened to you because he'll think you're a twat for "letting" it happen. And he's supposed to love you and you're supposed to love him.

Then think again, whether that's better than being attacked in an alley with a knife.

Neither's a fucking picnic

For information, the number of false accusations of rape is about 3% of the total reports said Police recently.

I read a report that FIL hired two private detectives to find evidence to clear his name.

Well said, Het

I'd be willing to bet that it's mostly down to her growing up around misogyny and seeing it as normal and perfectly fine. She must have justified to herself over and over. Wonder what her mother makes of it all.

I don't understand her father. No decent father/parent would want to see their daughters end up with such a scum bag. Let alone support him through two trials whilst offering £50k bribes for any 'information' to get him acquitted. They are a very strange family indeed.

Het I think that's the best post I've ever read on mumsnet.

OP- I hope you're doing ok

What about CE's fiancée ? How can she live with a person who behaved like this, whether the "law" called it rape or not, it was the most disgusting, misogynistic, degrading and disrespectful display I have ever had the misfortune to hear of. That man is beneath contempt. How can ANY woman chose to love with That man, knowing what he has admitted ?

MostlyHet, that is exactly the point, thank you. Someone you have invited in to your house, to stay as a guest, having known them for years - in my case - and no alcohol involved, just sleeping as one needs to do.

I am very glad zefcats posts have been deleted. I am very sorry they derailed a support thread. Though I would not have found them acceptable anywhere, particularly on a forum mostly read by women. Nonetheless, they act as a salutary reminder why sexual abuse persists and women do not speak out.

Courage and strength, Hex and everyone else affected by these issues

For any male lurkers who don't get why Zef's views were so offensive:

Ask yourself the following question. Which of these two scenarios would you find most traumatic? Being anally penetrated against your will by a complete stranger down a back alley? Or being anally penetrated against your will by a man who you thought was your friend, in a comfortable bed in the spare room of his flat where he'd offered you somewhere to crash after a night down the pub?

Once you've decided your answer, try to imagine how you would feel if someone then came along and said "no clearly the other scenario was worse, you didn't suffer anywhere near as badly as you would have done in the other scenario."

Now imagine that person is saying this repeatedly, not in the context of an abstract theoretical discussion, but on a support thread - to a group of women for whom the discussion can never be abstract because most of them will either have experienced rape themselves, or seen the aftermath in a woman very close to them.

In a grim way, I like the irony of you citing as "real rape" the example of a man "who forces himself on a woman he's never even spoke [sic] to", zefcal. Have you checked the details of Ched Evans's evidence to see how many times he himself acknowledges he spoke to the woman he was having sex with?