DH is 'glad' of verdict

Thank you.

Duly noted for future reference.

Pay no heed to it - an impulsive frolic of my own. Totally unrelated to the main thread.

Yes- what is cadno's comment referring to?

Say what, cadno?

and you thought you were the last in the shop ?

Thank you so much, Hillary (I hope she wins too!!)

I think 'last' was misspelt as 'lass'

lastgirl

Lass said she was bothered by the fact that so many men identified with the rapist. I have no idea what you said, Grim, but the OP of this post was looking for support because her husband was one of those men. It affects all women

Eh? I made one (pretty uncontroversial) comment on this thread and it wasn't what is quoted above. Why am I getting dragged into whatever Grim said ?

I didn't see the deleted response but I would like to say (for the first time actually) that I have been a victim of rape. I doubted it for years. Even though it was a seemingly cut and dried case of a taxi driver and one very drunk girl.

I can pin the start of my wariness (that is such a weak word and doesn't do justice at all of how I really feel) of men down to that night, but that was just the start.

Without the TWO (how awful that is, in a world full of men) lovely men I know - my Dad and DH, I know I would have nothing to do with men, if I could help it.

He has been found not guilty of rape he has lost 2 1/2 years of his life for something he didn't do. You have to put it into perspective. And the victim has lost her life several times over because of his actions, and the actions of his friends and family.

2 and a half years is NOTHING compared to what she has lost, and continues to lose thanks to this "man" and his followers.

He was being annoying but he had a point and I don't think his comment deserved to be deleted.

I'll go with that. ..

More a twat i would say anyfucker

just a semi-cunt then ?

meh

grimarse was not talking to or about the OP in his response

He was replying to lastgirls post

Happy to agree it was a snarky comment but he did not refer to rape victims at all

I do not like grimarse or his stupid posts at all but he was certainly not being a complete cunt

dancingbear have some

It is a sad, but true fact that men are more likely to listen to other men, so the more men who are sensitive to these issues the better.

Lass said she was bothered by the fact that so many men identified with the rapist. I have no idea what you said, Grim, but the OP of this post was looking for support because her husband was one of those men. It affects all women.

One in four women have been raped, I bet many more have been coerced into sex or had their bodies used in some way or commented on sexually in a disturbing manner. No-one has to come on here and declare if they are a victim of sexual assault or rape so you know how to frame your comments - it should be obvious that sensitivity is required and commendable.

Further, the thing that REALLY bothers me in the aftermath of these high profile cases is the fact that so many women do mentally re-live their own trauma, whether that be explicitly or internally. If I say I have been raped, I do so because I am in a place where I am comfortable with owning that experience as having shaped who I am - not as a rhetorical point to debate or for your information. I no longer dissociate from it. It makes me massively uncomfortable to know that women share these experiences on a support thread and then some man comes along and justifies whatever he said that was deleted with 'but she never said she had been raped'. It is such an intrusive thing to even suggest a woman should or should not state

It appears that rimarse 's raison d'etre on MN is to point out that women do bad stuff too.

< yawn >

I'm a man. Grimarse - stop being a dick. Even if you disagree with the tenor of the thread, for fuck's sake, have some basic humanity.

There you go, he might listen to me. He certainly isn't going to take any notice of anything a woman says or feels.

Grimarse unlike PPs I haven't seen any of your other posts. Are you a man, by any chance? I apologise if you're not but your complete lack of insight and empathy on this subject strongly indicates to me that you are.

I can't speak for Lastgirl as that would be presumptuous and rude. I can only speak for myself when I say the vast majority of posters on this thread are rape or abuse survivors dealing with the complicated feelings this trial and verdict has aroused in us. The vast majority of us are fearful of men due to experiences we have suffered at their hands. Reconciling these feelings of fear, and yes hatred in some cases, is very hard as a lot of us have husbands, sons etc.

To come on this thread and speak in the manner you did (I won't repeat it as it has been deleted) was goady, mocking, insensitive and dismissive - ironically not doing much to help us reconcile our feelings we are currently experiencing due to male violence against us.

If you are a man, and I suspect you are, you have no fucking idea. You didn't post to support us or engage in a genuine conversation. You posted to be a smart arse and it was wildly inappropriate given the subject of this thread.

So instead of throwing your toys out of the pram over being deleted, you would do better to apologise for being so fucking insensitive.

Are you a man, btw?

IIt takes a special kind of cunt to post simply to be rude and dismissive to a woman sharing how she feels after being a victim of rape grimarse.

Hang on a minute. My response was to LastGirls comment from 2200 last night. She made no mention of being a victim of rape there. She was specifically talking about the woman in the Ched Evans case. So how have you twisted it to make out that I was in any way referring to LastGirl being a victim of rape? Are you saying that at 2200 LastGirl stated that she has been raped and that I dismissed her?

That just does not make any sense. And now that the comment has been removed, it looks like I said something that I most certainly did not. If someone - anyone - wants to stand by the accusation, I am happy to take it up with them and the moderators - because it is bullshit.

Oh I do like that article

That rang so many bells it was shockingly loud

Luckily Dh is one of those men who was disgusted and said "this is why I don't like men in general. Why I won't go for a pint in the pub"

I kind of hope it doesn't get removed. It is vile, but it proves a point quite neatly.

I've reported that vile comment.