Do women use certain terms to 'shame' certain types of men?

There really is nothing worse than the angry rejected little man who think's he has some god given right to be heard and paid attention too

there's nothing worse than an angry little man scorned!

Dervel I thank you for your enlightenment. As women are so seldom believed it's going to take a concerted effort by men to a) notice that this crap happens ALL THE TIME and b) to speak up when they see/hear it. And seriously, the creepy thing; don't do it and, if you do, just get the feck over yourself and understand that is the weakest of insults that could happen to you, you precious little flowers.

I can quite conceive of an asshat switch btw. I've seen it.

TrulyFubar can I take a moment to apologise to you personally? The reason I ask this is I was out on my cousins stag do, and precisely what you describe happened. He called out drunkenly to a woman walking past on her own. Pretty much in the ballpark of insults you described, but I won't repeat it here. I told him to fucking pack it in, and tried to make an apology to the woman, she quite understandably told me to fuck off, so I didn't get the opportunity to get across I was not on board with our treatment of her.

So I guess symbolically I am sorry we did that to you TrullyFubar. You didn't deserve we were asses.

Truly so so awful. The average man has no idea what many women have to put up with. That's why they think being called "creepy" is a terrible insult.

Unless you are proposing that us men all deep down know the right way to behave, and then some of us flip an asshat switch and start bothering you?

This is definitely the case for men who complain that women call them creeps.

Men who really do not know the right way to behave are called creepy or awkward or whathaveyou by other men, too, and would probably acknowledge that they probably do things wrong.
Or perhaps just hate everyone.
They would not complain that women do not like them.

I got as far as Page 7 and I've had to jump in. OP you have NEVER seen a man be mean to a woman based on her looks?! I now imagine you living among gods and goddesses because as sure as sht you don't appear to have known anyone who looks like me. Here's a few of my personal, real-life experiences; fat cow, fat bitch, fat cnt ad nauseum for having the temerity to be within a 10ft radius of a man/men, being surrounded by a stag group of men shoving and spitting on me as I baffled them for being a fat in public in THEIR night out, being grabbed by the neck and forced down to someone's backside so they could fart in my face on purpose, having abuse shouted at me from men in vehicles simple because they have to endure driving past me, being told to 'f*ck off PARADING' my effing fat self in public, being punched in the face by a man as his mate held my arms behind my back because 'I hate you you fat cow'... and that's off the top of my head with many, many more examples crushing my humanity. I left out the generic groping and woman-abuse that we as a gender experience ALL THE TIME. I would point out that I did not approach ANY of the men mentioned, nor did I know them in any capacity.

Trust me, being called out as creepy for some creepy behaviour is NOTHING. Now I'm 50 and both disabled and invisible things have improved somewhat. I'm not holding my breath though as I'm no less repellant today.

Well, most men navigate social interactions with colleagues, bosses, friends, acquaintances, neighbours, by treating them as ...people.

See also Dervel's posts.

What would you teach in social skills classes?

Unless you are proposing that us men all deep down know the right way to behave, and then some of us flip an asshat switch and start bothering you?

Pretty much.

Well basic courtesy is a social skill is it not?? So any man that approaches you in a bar and irritates you with his persistence is by the very definition of the term lacking in social graces?

Unless you are proposing that us men all deep down know the right way to behave, and then some of us flip an asshat switch and start bothering you?

You may be right, but that doesn't match with all of my experience. I have met some men who genuinely have no fucking clue. Although they are the least likely chap to bother you to begin with. Then there are guys who are just friendly and likable, then there are some who think they are but most definately are not. I had assumed it was the last cohort that was the problem. I'll think on it some more.

"socialising boys and girls when they are younger to make them more accepting of one another later in life"

Most folks of the age to approach another person in a bar have friends of both sexes. It's not the "social skills" that's the issue, is it..?

Or War?

I respect that attitude Marble, but I'm thinking is there a way of socialising boys and girls when they are younger to make them more accepting of one another later in life, and minimize these sorts of encounters?

So if this mythical patriarchy was created to ensure every man got the opportunity to pass on his genes it did a piss-poor job of it!

I don't know why mythical patriarchy was created, but real patriarchy was created so that men would be in control of which men get to pass on their genes.

Since men are also egoistic towards one another, not only towards women, it logically follows that they would try to prevent other men from passing on their genes.

This then leads to polygyny, which would explain why there is so little variation in genes on the male side.

Or perhaps a disease killed off most men at some point in history.

" isn't really going to address the problem. Nothing changes."

But what exactly is the problem? I'm bad at chatting to men I fancy, that's a problem I need to fix, not society.

Dear god that was wordy, and made me sounds like I am trying to be more intelligent than I am! I am really not!! I'm a bit of a spanner at times, so apologies for that and thanks to anyone who takes the time to read it. I'll try to moderate my tone better in future.

Yes but if the central premise is "some men suck at socialising the crap ones will get shot down, twas ever thus and they can go do one" isn't really going to address the problem. Nothing changes.

Granted reading through the thread you guys have put up with some asinine points from my betestacled brethren, let me clear. On this issue I'm 100% on your side. Freedom of association is a basic human right, and included within that right is the implicit freedom to NOT associate.

I am also a full subscriber to the notion of property rights of which the first and most crucial pillar upon which the whole concept stands is self ownership. Any rape or coercion is a clear violation of this, and in fact I'd go further and say that if any man (or woman) has sex under false pretenses when were the full facts of the matter known, like say lying about marriage or relationship status that is a form of fraud, causes emotional distress and we as a society should take a sterner position on.

My goto thoughts on this issue, and forgive me I haven't given it much thought is that maybe boys and girls should be encouraged to socialise with one another at an earlier age, and we all make allowances for the less socially gifted, and perhaps allow them to improve.

Coupled with that I agree the sense of 'entitlement' amongst some men is abhorrant, but there are a wide variety of women who feel 'entitled' to a man's resources. Neither of which attitude helps with friendly social cohesion. Note I am not making the case that women are as bad as men or there is precise parity in those attitudes, men may indeed be worse as an aggregate, I'm saying I don't know. What I WILL say is there are perceptions to that effect, which need correcting.

I can pop onto an MRA forum and see a load of butthurt men whining about how women are (unfairly imo), and find much the same here. There has to be a happy medium between the two where people are mostly courteous to one another.

"As from where i see it your not going to be happy unless they sleep with everyone who aproaches them as it wouldnt be fair would it. So in other words you believe women shouldnt have a choice well not goid looking ones anyway as i cant see many guys lining up for a less attractive woman but thats different as they dont count as people do they?"

Quite. With the added sting that if an attractive woman does sleep with every man who asks, she gets called a slut and is treated with contempt. It's a no-win for anyone female, this game.

As you coyly allude to, anything else is rape or coercion.

Not being entitled to another human being's body has nothing to do with "the law of the jungle". It's a simple respect for other people's rights and bodily autonomy.

If we're going by the law of the jungle then biological organisms will do their level best to procreate by fair means or foul, and I am sure the the foul methods all ethical beings would object to.

So I don't think you can just apply the human concept of 'fair' in one context and not the other.

No one deserves or has a right to pass their genes on by reproducing, just like no one deserves or has to win the lottery. Luck of the draw.

Although I always like to take science journalism with a giant pinch of salt it would seem women have far outstripped men in their reproductive success:

www.theguardian.com/science/2014/sep/24/women-men-dna-human-gene-pool

So if this mythical patriarchy was created to ensure every man got the opportunity to pass on his genes it did a piss-poor job of it!

Nevertheless, fair play about creepy guys they unquestionably DO exist, and I can understand your frustration. Maybe the rest of us guys could do a better job of keeping them in line!

I think it's quite telling how many of these men are jealous of these stereotypically attractive men who women don't tell to fuck off, while on the other hand they rate women out of ten for their looks and don't think they should settle for a less "attractive" woman. Why then should attractive women be expected to settle, by that reasoning?

If you have such a shallow value system, you should expect that you don't make the grade for attractive women if you're not yourself attractive. If it's natural, what's the point in fighting it? I have to say that it's not my value system at all, but it's the whole reason why these men are so petulant.

They also still seem to be dead set on 'attractive' being all about how someone looks - I'm guessing because that's how they rate women.Looks can matter, but how that person is - their interests and personality are way more important. A bad personality can render good looks completely unattractive, and a good one can make a downright hideous bloke irresistible.

That's because they very, very, very obviously do not have, or, most importantly WANT to have a good personality. Acquiring a good personality would mean to let go of their entitlement and become completely different persons, in which case finding a woman to fuck would not be their top priority anymore.

But even they are clever enough to know that accusing women of shallowness will fly, while accusing women of having standards regarding personality ... will expose them as the entitled jerks they are.

What they actually mean is that women should not have any standards whatsoever.